One thing
by Happy2BeDee
Summary: Inspired by Padre Sandunguero. After his final confrontation with his father, Nick wants to make things right with Olivia. Bensaro
1. 1 Amends

**Yes, I'm a filthy liar. I said no more multi chapters until I closed out a few of the ones I already have open but this one has been begging for release. It's inspired by Padre Sandunguero and was intended to be just a one-shot but y'all know how I get with Bensaro and soooo... Not sure how long this story will be but here it is. Dick Wolf owns the SVU characters, enjoy!**

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After parting ways with Nicolas that night, Nick found his mind in complete disarray and desperately needing a way to quiet it. Usually he would find his solace in his baby girl; no matter how bad things got for him he could always count on a hug and kiss from Zara to put everything back in perspective but with her now back in L.A. with her mother, he was left alone to deal with the raw emotion that coursed through him with such intensity, he thought it might kill him.

"Fuck this" he swore out loud to no one, quickly logged out of his computer, grabbed his coat and got the hell out of there - destination unknown.

He found himself wandering into the bar just a few blocks from the precinct where he ran into Barba who, he guessed was feeling as shitty as he was and shared his plan to find absolution at the bottom of a bottle - albeit, he couldn't afford the $250 bottle that Barba preferred but a bottle, was a bottle

"Thought you might end up here." Rafael said without looking at Nick as he refilled then took a hearty sip of McCallun from his glass.

"I figured it's as good a night as any to get shit-faced drunk."

"Excepto, no haces borracho." Barba grinned "Glass for my friend here" he said to the bartender

"Yeah well, yolo, right? Nick decided as he took a seat in the stool beside his friend and picked up the glass Barba had poured for him. "...to bad fathers" he proposed

"May they burn in hell!" Barba concluded, both men smiling as their glasses clinked to complete the sad toast.

... ... ...

Half a bottle later, Barba was called back to the office and Nick sat alone, having decided that he didn't in fact, like drinking, but finished up his second shot before heading out. The brisk night air felt good against his skin as he stood deciding what his next move should be. He could always go home but then what? Go home to silence that would drive him insane? Perhaps it wasn't too late to catch up with Carisi... But he wasn't really in the mood to be with a group tonight.

"Maybe I'll go back to work" he thought out loud, more than certain that Olivia would understand his need to keep busy under his current circumstances.

"Olivia..." He sighed wistfully. He still felt like shit for what he said to her earlier in the week and had meant to make it right but he didn't know how. More than anything, he wished that he could take it back but he knew that just like you couldn't unring a bell, you couldn't unspeak words.

_"It's not about him, this is is about you holding on to you your anger... In order to heal, we have to let go."_

_"Oh? So, what? You forgiven your father? Or William Lewis; huh? You forgiven them?"_

_"Wow!" She didn't even know how to respond but one thing was clear; he'd hurt her._

"You never should have said it, you dick!" he scolded himself as he walked back toward the 1-6. "The one person who's always had your back and you were an ass to her... And then you give her that half-assed apology and she still had your back!" He shook his head. He didn't deserve her kindness...

"Amaro" he answered his phone, after being suddenly jarred from his thoughts by the ringing.

"Hey." the voice on the other end of the line greeted warmly. He could almost hear her smile in her voice.

"Liv!" He stopped in his tracks. His breath catching. God, the way she made him feel with even the smallest gestures.

"I was just calling to see if everything's okay, things were so tense when I left" she said as she sat rubbing lotion onto her skin after having just taken a hot bath.

"You know...Nicolas is... Well, he's Nicolas!"

"I take it things didn't go well?"

"Understatement."

"I'm sorry"

"Don't, it's not your fault"

"Still... Nick, if you need to talk, you could always come over, I'm here." She offered and he wanted more than anything to jump at the opportunity.

"I...it's late, I don't wanna intrude."

"You wouldn't be." She insisted. "Noah is asleep for the night and I'm wide awake; it wouldn't be an intrusion."

He stopped to consider for a moment before agreeing. Deciding right then and there that it was time to properly apologize to her for being an ass.

"Just lemme get a cab and I'll be there in ten." He said before ending the call.

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**Am I continuing? Please review and tell me what you think. **


	2. Temptation

**Back with chapter two. Sorry to those of you reading my other stories and waiting on updates but I really need a break from the evil and angst. No worries, it won't be too long of a break (I hope) but I'm enjoying keeping it light - light is fun! Thanks to everyone for the reviews. We pick up where we left off. Y'all know the disclaimer, enjoy!**

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Nick arrived at Olivia's apartment just after eleven, slightly buzzed from the two drinks he'd had tonight but when she opened the door he took one look at her and immediately sobered up.

_"Holy shit!"_ He thought, the very second he saw her. She wasn't wearing anything special - an old Marines tee-shirt, leggings and slouch socks. Her hair was pulled back in a sloppy ponytail and her face was scrubbed clean but to Nick, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on!

"Hey!" She greeted with a smile. "Glad you made it, come on in." She she said as she walked away and into the living room. Nick followed her inside, stopping to lock the door and hang his coat in the entryway before joining her in the living room where she sat waiting for him on the sofa, legs curled beneath her. He looked around the apartment, familiar nervousness in the pit if his stomach. No matter how many times he'd been here, there was always something so profoundly personal about being in her home that always caught him off guard and made him feel like a kid with a crush that intimidated him. He never knew how to _be_ around her.

"You...sure it's okay...me bein' here this late?" He asked, knowing what her answer would be but needing to make small talk.

"If it weren't, I wouldn't have invited you over. Sit." She insisted, him smiling his boyish smile as he sat beside her, his tension suddenly melting away.

"Can I get you anything? A drink?" She offered before taking a sip from her water and setting it down on the coffee table.

"Nah, I already had a couple... Rough night."

"Rough week" she smirked.

"I guess you could say that" he agreed quietly, looking down at his hands.

"I could also say I admired how well you've handled it in spite of everything."

"I didn't handle it as well as I should have..." It was a remorseful admittance - one that he was not at all proud to make but he needed to clear the air between them.

"Liv, I allowed Nicolas to make me... No. I lost control and allowed it to put me in place where I said some terrible things to you..."

"Nick, come on, we're past it okay? I understand that you didn't mean it. You were just angry."

"But it doesn't excuse it. I hurt you; I saw it on your face the very second those words came out of my mouth."

"I'm over it"

"You shouldn't... There should have been nothing to get over. Was I angry? Yes but it was no excuse for what I did. Liv, you mean the world to me and you are the last person I would ever want to hurt - intentionally or otherwise. You didn't deserve what I did and I want you to know from the bottom of my heart how sorry I am - it's why I needed to come here tonight."

Olivia smiled before diverting her eyes to her own hands for a moment before looking again at Nick.

"Thank you. But you're not here to talk about me..."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" She asked.

"That...you can never let anyone be good to you"

"I can, its just...I asked you over because I know that you're struggling with your dad and I wanted to let you vent - not sit here dragging up something you said a week ago that you didn't mean"

"But me not meaning it didn't make it hurt you less"

"It didn't."

"You're a terrible liar." He accused, neither of them could help the small laugh that escaped them.

"We're okay, Nick. We'll always be okay." She assured. Then jokingly... "Even if you do say mean things to hurt my feelings."

Nick hung his head as a smile spread across his face.

"I deserve that"

"You do." She agreed with a chuckle. "Just be thankful you said it at work or I might have punched you in the face."

"I've seen you throw that right hook; no thanks!" He grinned then just as quickly was overcome with sadness.

"Everything is all about him." He said of his father after a long silence. "What _he _needs, what _he _wants...what's best for _him_!" Olivia didn't speak, just lightly touched his shoulder to let him know that she was listening as she sat quietly and took in his words.

"He thinks _I'm _the one who's being stubborn; that I'm the one who's wrong. He hurt my mother, he hurt me but I'm wrong because I can't let bygones be bygones. He's never once made an attempt to apologize for the hell he put us through...even tonight... Says he'll be "waiting" for when I decide to put it behind me. I mean can you believe this guy?"

"Nick, I'm sorry..."

"I mean, how hard is it to admit that you're wrong, just man up, take some responsibility and say you're sorry?"

"Some people just aren't built that way... They're not capable"

"He basically admitted that he lied to protect himself. Says he's "too old" for prison. I mean you'd think after all these years...but no, Nicolas is still looking out for number one! He's even made sure to remind me that I am his junior in _every_ way!"

"You are NOTHING like him!"

"Try telling him that. He even threw it out there that maybe it was the reason Maria and me didn't work."

"Son of a...he obviously doesn't know the man you are." Olivia said as she moved closer and put her arm around him, not realizing that being so close to him, touching him was making him go wonderfully insane "...the man I know - the man we all know. You're a good man, Nick. Don't ever doubt that."

"Means a lot coming from you." She was so close that her scent was beginning to intoxicate him even more than the alcohol he'd drank just a little while ago. She always did smell absolutely incredible!

"Contrary to popular belief, we do not all grow up to become our parents." She reminded him. Her eyes caught his and she swallowed hard, both of them suddenly feeling flustered. She'd been fighting her attraction to Nick for years and right now, being in such close proximity... Her eyes fell to his lips and she could smell his cologne as she wondered for the millionth time what those lips would feel like on hers... _This was not a good idea. _She thought as she moved and put space between them.

"I um..."

"Yeah" he agreed, understanding exactly what she meant and needing to keep a professional distance. "I should get going"

"You sure?" She asked, thankful that he'd taken the initiative.

... ... ...

They said goodnight, and once he was gone she stood there in the entryway staring at the door. She didn't know how far she could trust herself. And though she didn't want to overstep boundaries, she was lonely. Yes, Noah was amazing and she loved him with all her heart but she longed for adult interaction - the kind that she simply had no time for anymore with a baby and a full time job. She hadn't been intimate with anyone in a while, 6 months to be exact and Nick...being Nick wasn't helping matters.

She sighed as she turned off the light, mentally kicking herself for even thinking about him that way...

"Yeah, like it's the first time! Get a grip, Olivia. You're his boss, he's your partner. End of story!" She was suddenly jarred from those thoughts with an urgent knock on the door. She quickly made her way to it and looked through the peephole, quickly opening the door when she saw that it was Nick.

"Did you forget something?"

"Yeah." He answered hesitantly as he dropped his coat. "This." He said as he put his palm against the nape of her neck and leaned in to kiss her, his lips claiming hers possesively. Her mind was spinning, screaming in that moment.

_Olivia...no! This is...no! You cannot kiss Nick, you can't... Dear god, his lips are so soft! No, stop this! That's it, push him away...I said push him away! Do not let him wrap that arm around your waist, oh god he's pulling you closer and is that his tongue pushing against your lips...?"_

It was, and in spite of them both knowing that this was a bad idea, at the moment none of that was getting through. What was getting through was the pure, raw lust they felt. That her nipples were now as hard against his chest as his dick was against her thigh and that in about 10 seconds, her wetness would probably be seeping through her leggings.

As she opened her mouth to his, loving the taste of the alcohol that still lingered in his mouth as she very sensually sucked it from his tongue with her kiss and he slid his hands up her shirt, caressing the silken skin of her back, neither of them cared about job or rank; not when he lifted her so that that her legs were wrapped firmly around his waist as he carried her to her bedroom, not when they stripped each other in a frenzy as they rolled around in her bed, not when his head was planted between her thighs lapping greedily at her clit and certainly not when he was inside her fucking her so hard and so deep that she nearly bit a hole in her own lip from biting so hard to stifle her cries of pleasure. They threw caution out the window and gave in to the carnal urges they'd been fighting for four years, deciding to worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Tonight however, they made love until they physically couldn't, then drifted off to sleep, bruised and satisfied, Nick's arm wrapped protectively around her.

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**What have they done? Chapter three soon. Reviews are love.**


	3. Morning

**Chapter three! I love that you guys seem to like this story so much. Thank you all for the beautiful reviews. Three picks up where two left off and there's not much more to say. Dick Wolf owns these characters. Enjoy!**

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"Fuck!" Olivia hissed upon opening her eyes and realizing that she was in bed... naked... beside an equally naked Nick. As amazing as last night had been - and it was _amazing; _reality was setting in with the morning light and she was quickly being made aware of exactly how bad an idea this had been.

"Mmm..." Nick moaned as he stirred in his sleep, further burying his face into the crook of her neck. His breath was warm on her skin and instantly made her nipples throb painfully with arousal. She smiled as she bit her lip, memories of last night flooding her head as Nick's body snuggled closer to hers, and as if on autopilot she pushed her backside against him, making contact with his already hardening dick.

"Bad idea, Benson!" She said to herself in protest of wanting to hop on the beautiful, sleeping man with his arms around her and take another ride before the coach turned back to a pumpkin.

_"...and it will..." _She thought to herself. Sighing, she caressed Nick's sleeping face, allowing her fingertips to revel in the feel of his prickly stubble, remembering how it tickled while he ate- she pulled her hand away urgently as if she'd touched fire before reaching to the nightstand for her phone and checking the time.

6:30... Noah would be up in a few minutes; she had just enough time to grab a quick shower before her son would be calling for her.

She carefully moved Nick's arm from around her waist and slipped out of bed, wincing then smiling when the aching reminder of last night's activities presented itself between her legs - she couldn't remember the last man who had fucked her so beautifully and she just as quickly grew sad with the thought that it might be a very long time before the opportunity would present itself again, released another sigh and continued on to the bathroom.

... ... ...

Thirty minutes later she found herself in the kitchen standing against the counter, absently sipping a mug of coffee while Noah sat in his high chair, chubby little fingers lifting pieces of fruit into his mouth with his right hand while the left shoveled in mushy oatmeal and he grunted happily as he chewed.

"Enjoying your breakfast, baby?" She cooed, smiling at her son who offered a messy smile in return then nodded his head.

"Mama eat" he insisted, offering a piece of banana from his oatmeal-covered fingertips. Not wanting to discourage him from sharing, Olivia leaned in to her son and allowed him to feed her his offering, smiling enthusiastically as she chewed.

"Mmm, thank you baby." She said with a kiss to his forehead before hopping up onto the stool beside his chair. "Mommy's off today so you have me all to yourself." She said while running her fingers through his mop of thick, dark hair.

"Selp" Noah repeated with a mouthful of banana, making Olivia laugh before returning her thoughts to the naked man- her naked friend sleeping in her bed. The naked friend that she'd been naked beneath trying not to scream as orgasm after orgasm tore through her... She'd never come so many times in her life!

"Don't dwell." She told herself as she got up to dump her coffee and mug in the sink. She'd decided to let Nick sleep, thankful that it wouldn't be completely awkward for Noah to see him leaving when he woke up. Her son knew and loved the man and would be very happy to see his..."

"Unc!" She heard Noah squeal gleefully and she froze in place at the sink upon hearing Nick's voice in the room.

"Hey, Mano!" He smiled at Noah as he mussed his hair. "Having breakfast?"

"Beck" Noah confirmed with a nod, offering Nick banana just like he'd done his mom. "Eat" he insisted as he shoved the food into Nick's mouth. Nick wasn't as good as Olivia was at masking his disdain for the ultra-bland baby cereal and made a sour face as he chewed, causing Noah to burst into laughter.

"Here you go." Olivia grinned as she handed him a cup of coffee.

"Bless you!" He said as he took a hearty sip. "You uh...you sleep okay?"

"Yeah, I... Yeah." She didn't quite know what to say to him and nervously scrubbed away at nonexistent dirt on the counter to avoid looking at him.

"So... Last night..." He began.

"Yeah... Um, are you hungry? I could whip up breakfast..."

"Starving but I'll grab something on the way in to work. I used the shower, I hope that's okay."

"It's... Yeah." _Stop saying 'yeah'! _She yelled at herself in her head then forced herself to turn around and look at him.

"You okay?" He asked, picking up on how uneasy she was.

"Nick, last night... It was... Wow!"

"For me too." He blushed.

"...but I think we both know that it was wrong."

"If what we did was wrong, screw right!"

"Language" she reminded. Thankfully Noah was too engrossed in his food to notice.

"Sorry." He got up and walked over to Olivia where she stood on the other side of the counter, looking her in the eye and dropping his voice to a near-whisper.

"I kissed you because it's the only thing I wanted since the day we met, and I made love to you for the same reason."

"Nick..."

"Last night wasn't a mistake, you wanted it too or there's no way it would have happened."

"I'm your boss... Your partner; I already have no idea how I'm gonna be able to face you at work but I do know that this can never happen again. We can't talk about it or think about it. Let's just chalk it up to what it was and let it go."

"_"What it was"_?"

"Two consenting adults who were horny and emotional and experiencing a temporary lapse in judgment." She said before walking away to Noah, who was no longer eating, just mashing his food in his hands.

"Lapse in ju- wow! That's..."

"What it was" she insisted as she cleaned Noah's hands and face, lifting him into her arms before handing him his sippy cup full of milk.

Nick felt like he'd been punched in the stomach and his expression mirrored how he felt as he backed away without a word before turning and leaving the apartment, grabbing his coat from where he'd dropped it in the entryway on the way out.

"Unc bye bye!" Noah informed Olivia, who stood quietly with him on her hip. She didn't respond, just kissed his head and cuddled him closer to her.

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**Poor Nick. How about a review to tell me what you think? See you guys next time.**


	4. Avoid

**Four chapters in. You guys are awesome and I love you all. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to leave reviews, it means a lot to me. So, SVU has been renewed for season 17, how amazing is that? As always, Dick Wolf owns these characters and I own my story, enjoy!**

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_"...just like that!" Nick demanded in his sultry tone as Olivia sat straddling his lap. He was buried to the hilt inside her, nipping at the skin of her neck while she rode his thick cock, a guttural moan escaping her every time she felt the head of his dick push against her g-spot, and in this position Nick was hitting it with perfect precision and Olivia was coming undone. _

_He grabbed hold of her ass with both hands and pushed up even deeper inside her, rocking her hips harder against him as his teeth clamped down on her nipple at the same time, eliciting a loud whimper from her while she sank her nails into his shoulders. She was already coming again._

_"Nick!" She cried, bucking her hips faster while holding his head in place against her breast, signaling him to pull her nipple further into his mouth and suck harder..._

"Sarge... Sarge?" Carisi called.

"What?" She nearly yelled, shaking away the memory and quite annoyed as she was drawn from the reverie that she'd again fallen into while staring at Nick sitting at his desk. It had been a week since that night and she still couldn't stop thinking about the sex.

"Where do you keep disappearing to?" The young detective asked as he took a seat in front of his sergeant's desk.

"I...nowhere. What do you need?" Olivia asked as she moved away from the window in her office that looked out into the squadroom, giving her full attention to Carisi.

"You wanted to know as soon as we got a hit on the DNA we recovered from the crime scene. Remember?"

"Yes, I... Sorry" she apologized as she took a seat on the edge of her desk. "What do we got?"

... ... ...

Out in the squad room, Nick looked back at Olivia's office from where he now stood at the coffee machine, watching as she sat talking with Carisi.

_"Oh God, harder!" She cried, writhing beneath him as he looked down at her beautiful face contorted in pleasure and holding his intense gaze as he drove into her again and again. Her hands were pinned to the mattress, her fingers intertwined with his as he crashed his lips against hers; their tongues dancing in desperation and want, her kiss burning his lungs, as she stole the very air from them. Her naked body was covered in a sheen of sweat as was his, hair sticking to her skin but fuck, as she lay beneath him gasping and moaning as her body took what his had to give, he thought she was the sexiest thing in existence!_

He'd almost let his cup overflow and silently cursed beneath his breath. He'd never had a connection with anyone like he did with Olivia; mentally, emotionally, sexually - they just fit. And when they made love... Being inside her was like nothing he'd ever known- like a dream. Only to wake up and have it crushed the morning after...

_"...I already have no idea how I'm gonna be able to face you at work, but I do know that this can never happen again. We can't talk about it or think about it. Let's just chalk it up to what it was and let it go."_

"You obviously have no idea how hard it is to let you go!" He thought to himself.

"Let who go?" Fin asked.

"What?"

"You said "you have no idea how hard it is to let you go"" Fin told him, catching Nick off guard since he hadn't been aware that he'd voiced his thoughts out loud.

"I was just... Not important."

"Uh huh" Fin replied dully as he took a seat at his desk just as Liv' s office door opened and she and Carisi walked out.

"Fin, we got a match on the DNA, I want you to take Carisi and go pick up Able Smith."

"On it!" Fin said as he stood and grabbed his coat from the back of his chair.

"Liv... Can I talk to you?" Nick asked. Olivia quickly looked away and nervously shoved one hand into her pocket as she rubbed the back of her neck with the other while Nick looked on longingly.

"Actually, Barba needs to see you about the Jones case and Dodds should be here any minute so... Sorry. No time." She said and disappeared into her office before Nick had a chance to respond.

"Busy woman!" Carisi said sympathetically with a clap to Nick's back before leaving with Fin. It didn't take a genius to notice the tension between the sergeant and detective but neither Sonny or Fin dared question it. Fin wasn't the type to interfere in personal matters and Carisi just speculated in his own head, respecting his colleague and C/O too much to pry, even if the suspense was killing him.

Nick hung his head, sighing as he grabbed his own coat and looked back at Olivia's office once more before turning to leave. She couldn't avoid him forever. Sooner or later they would have to talk, and after what he'd put in motion at 1PP, sooner would be very soon indeed!

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**So what has Nick been up to? We find out next chapter. Meanwhile, reviews are love so please love me, lol. See y'all next time **


	5. Confrontation

**Chapter five. Gonna be taking a break from this one so I can focus on others. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter cuz the next one may take a while. Dick Wolf owns these characters. Enjoy**

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"You're not focused!" Barba called to Nick, frustrated that he couldn't seem to keep the detective's attention for longer than a few seconds at a time. This time however, Nick had slipped even further into his thoughts…

"_Nick!"she cried in a whisper as he lay on top of her, her legs around his waist while he fucked her deep._

"_Say it again…" his lips were kissing the spot just below her ear as he punctuated his request with another thrust of his hips that caused her to arch her back as his name spilled from her lips once more…_

"NICK!" Barba yelled as he slammed his hand down on the table, annoyed as hell at the lack of interest but succeeding in snapping the detective out of his reverie.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Barba sighed as he looked over at his friend and colleague and his mood softened when he saw the looked in his eyes, there was pain there.

"Qué está pasando?" he asked, his tone much softer.

"No es nada." Nick said quietly, dismissively as he sat up straighter in his chair and cleared his throat.

"Bullshit!"

"it's just…I did something and now I'm wondering if it was the right thing."

"As long as it's not illegal, I'm listening."

"You're gonna know soon enough anyway; I'm leaving SVU – I put in for a transfer to Major Case"

"That was sudden"

"It's for the best"

"Is this about Liv?"

"What?"

"Come on…I'm not blind. And even if I were I'd still be able to see the way you look at her; what happen? Your feelings finally become too much to handle?"

"_What if I told you I love you?" he asked in a whisper as Olivia lay atop his chest, the two of them lazily drifting to sleep after their lovemaking._

"_I'd tell you to love someone who's not off limits…"_

"Yeah…somethin like that."

... ... ...

Later that night at the precinct the squad room had cleared out save Fin, Amanda and Nick who sat at his desk, still hard at work.

"I got an extra ticket to the Knicks game…" Fin said, waving the ticket as he perched himself on the edge of Nick's desk.

"I wish I could, man, but I got a ton of work to get done"

"Come on, snacks on me!" Fin offered. He wanted more than anything to help the younger detective out of the funk he'd been in lately.

"Game doesn't start till eight; that gives us a whole hour before we even need to leave. Think about it."

"Well, you boys have fun. I'm off this weekend so I'll see y'all Monday!" Amanda said as she headed for the door.

"Goodnight" Nick said absently.

"Get home safe." Fin added.

"I will, behave yourselves"

"Don't I always?" Fin grinned. Amanda playfully rolled her eyes, smiling as she left the squad room.

"Hey, Sarge. I thought you were gone for the evening" she was surprised to see Olivia who came through the elevator doors impeccably clad in a tight black wrap dress with matching black stilettos. "Wow! Don't you look nice."

"Thanks" Olivia grinned "I know, I'm supposed to be at a stupid dinner but the commissioner had an emergency so I thought I'd stop by and grab a few of my files before I head home."

"Sorry your night was ruined"

"Ruined?" Olivia laughed "Dinner with The commissioner, Dodds and 4 other borough SVU C/Os is not my idea of fun"

"Shame to let that dress go to waste!" Amanda said with a wolf whistle as the elevator doors shut. Olivia laughed, shaking her head as she made her way down the hall and into the squad room.

"Hey, Liv" Fin greeted causing Nick to whip his head around, his heart nearly stopping when he saw her "what happened to dinner?" he asked, staring down at his phone.

"Uh...cancelled." she stammered, having made eye contact with Nick and quickly looking away.

"Good, you have time, maybe we can talk now?" Nick asked.

"I didn't plan to be here long"

"It won't take long." he assured her. she knew she couldn't avoid him forever and reluctantly agreed.

"Okay." as they walked across the room toward her office, Fin couldn't help but wonder about the tension between the two but just as quickly decided that it was none of his business.

... ... ...

"Is it because of what I said?" Nick asked, careful to keep his voice down as he shut the door to Olivia's office.

"Is what because of what you said?" she asked, removing her coat and tossing it onto one of the chairs in front of her desk making Nick swallow hard at seeing how her dress clung perfectly to every single one of her ample curves.

"Is what... Okay. That's how you wanna play it? I tell you I love you and you push me away."

"What we did..."

"What we did was amazing. We both wanted it, we both needed it and we both loved it. Do you have any idea how much that night meant to me?"

_To me too._

"It was more than just sex. Liv, I've dreamt about being with you like that more times than I can even count."

_And it still wouldn't be as many times as I have._

"We were wrong to give in to what we felt. We just got caught up in the moment."

"You don't believe that" He said as he caressed her face.

"Nick, don't."

"Olivia... I love you. I do, I..."

"Nick..."

"Please, just..." Unable to find the words, he took her head in his hands and crashed his mouth against hers, explaining with his kiss every bit the passion he felt. His lips grabbed her attention in a way that words couldn't, his tongue, as it danced against her own, allowed his kiss to say things that only their hearts could understand and he knew that she did - understand as her hands rested on top of his. It had been her intent to pull them away but she instead found herself consumed by that kiss, melting into it, becoming one with it and now returning it with just as much fire and want and Nick had given it to her.

"We shouldn't be doing this..." she protested as they continued kissing and he backed her against her desk, leaning her against it as he quickly got down in front of her, reached under her dress with both hands and slowly peeled her panties off, taking his time to drag them down her long legs as he looked her in the eye then spread her knees when he was done.

"Nick please..." She begged as she shook her head.

"Tell me no and we're done."

She knew that she should stop this but when she felt him licking her slit...

"Oh god!" She gasped, squeezing her eyes shut as he spread her wider and sucked on her lips before pulling them apart with his fingers.

"My god your pussy is so wet!" He whispered before burying his face there and taking her clit in his mouth. Olivia hissed and threw her head back.

_"Oh dear God...this is wrong!" _She thought to herself as her conscience was screaming at her to end it.

_"You have to stop him!"_

_"...and I will" _she promised with a sigh. _"...just as soon as he's done eating my..." _She told herself as she let out a moan and ran her slender fingers through his hair as she ground her hips against his mouth, prompting him as he held her lips open while pushing his tongue inside her, to go deeper. It was simply too good to stop; Nick's oral skill was in a class all its own, working her pussy as sensually as he would a French kiss to her mouth and making her eyes roll back into her head. Once again Nick had her wanting, needing to scream from the unbelievable pleasure he was giving her but she couldn't with Fin right outside.

Replacing his tongue with his fingers, he slowly, agonizingly pushed them inside her before he began fucking her with them, showing no mercy to her g-spot. His mouth continued on her clit and he soon felt her walls began to tighten around his hand, she was about to come hard!

"Nick... I'm..."

"No." He protested before giving a kiss to her swollen clit, sending a shiver through her body then pulling his fingers out, lapping at the wetness that was now trailing her inner thigh before sucking her from his soaked fingers.

"What the hell? Why are you stopping?" She tried not to raise her voice but was frustrated as hell as she looked down at him.

"Because we're done" his response was curt, simple as he stood, and turned to leave without so much as glancing in her direction.

"Done? Very funny."

"I'm not laughing."

"Oh, so you're just gonna leave me...like this?"

"Your call." He shrugged.

"_My _call?" She asked as she got up from the desk stumbling on wobbly legs. Nick couldn't help smirking, knowing he'd caused the glitch in her coordination.

"Yeah, Liv. Your call. Because as much as I wanna throw you down and fuck you senseless... I know that tomorrow will just be more of the same, you running away from this, from us. You mean more to me than that and I need more from you.

"I can't give you more. And you shouldn't want more when you know as well as I do what's at stake, what 1PP could do to us!"

"I don't give a shit about that. I want to be with you!"

"But I do give a shit and I'm not about to throw away everything I've worked so hard for because I can't keep my goddamn legs closed!"

"So that's it? That's all I am, a good fuck?"

"I didn't..."

"But that's what you meant." He could feel his heart breaking. "You know, I'm starting to think that it's a good a idea, what I did."

"What are you talking about?"

"I asked the brass for a transfer." Those words hit her hard. "So I'll be out of your hair in a few weeks, maybe less!"

"That's not what I wanted..."

"Oh yeah? What _do _you want?" He asked angrily before turning to leave, slamming the door behind him and leaving Olivia wondering what had just happened.

"You know what, I think I'll join you for that game after all." He said to Fin.

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**Bruh! Since you took the time to read, could you please review? I live hearing from you guys and it just might entice a faster update.**


	6. Frazzled

**I tried to take a break but I can't. Here's part six, y'all know the rhetoric, enjoy.**

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Nearing midnight and Olivia was at her wits end. Already sexually frustrated and pissed off at Nick, she had planned on going home and spending a little time with Noah before putting him to bed then soaking in a hot bath, getting into comfy pajamas and spending the night on the couch with work and a glass (or two) of wine but the night had its own plans and so did Noah.

From the moment she walked in the door Noah wouldn't let her move an inch without him. He'd been clingy lately but this was beyond the normal scope of clingy. She'd desperately wanted to get out of her dress but when she tried to put him down, even for a second, he'd scream bloody murder. She knew that he was just being dramatic but she couldn't fathom letting him cry and so she opted for kicking off her stilettos and getting comfy on the floor to play with him and get him tired. Now a few hours later, the apartment was a mess, his toys everywhere and he was still whiney and restless and Olivia was becoming frazzled.

"Mama up!" He demanded, standing beside her on the couch where she now sat, still in her dress and exhausted. Four hours later and nothing had changed.

"Baby, mama's tired. It's way past your bedtime, you should be sleepy."

"No seep!" He cried. "Mama up now!" She turned and took him in her arms, holding him close to her.

"Baby boy, what's goin on?" She asked softly into his hair as she stood up, tiredly walking about the living room in her bare feet as she gently swayed, rocking her sobbing child in her arms.

"We've played, you've been fed again, you're dry. No fever and you're not wheezing... I wish you could tell me what's wrong. Mama would do anything to make you happy again." She cooed with a kiss to his forehead, inhaling his sweet scent. She'd checked his body, no bruising of any kind and Lucy had assured her that he hadn't hurt himself today. She didn't know what else to do but she knew that with each passing hour, taking a swan dive out the window was looking more and more attractive. He had to stop at some point... Right?

"How about a nice bath with mama? You love bubbles..." The thought of a warm tub seemed divine.

"NO!" He yelled and began wailing again causing Olivia to groan in frustration. "Noah, what am I gonna do with you?" She wondered aloud just as the doorbell rang, making her immediately tense up. Who would be showing up this late unannounced?

"Doe mama" Noah sniffled through his tears.

"I know baby. Let's see who it is." She tightened her hold on her son as she padded to the entryway and looked through the peephole on the door, sighing, half relieved and half annoyed to see that it was just Nick.

"What are you doing here this late?" She asked the second she'd unlocked the door. As soon as Noah saw Nick, his little face lit up.

"Unc!" He cried, reaching for Nick, tears forgotten.

"Hey mano!" Nick smiled, taking the child from his mother's arms and giving his cheeks a big kiss. "¿Qué estás haciendo aquí tan tarde?"

"...testing my patience!" Olivia answered as they headed to the living room. "And you didn't answer my question." She reminded Nick, tucking her leg beneath her as she took a seat on the couch.

"Wow... Still in that dress" he smiled with an admiring look.

"Yeah he's been kinda having a meltdown the last four hours... Haven't exactly been able to tend to my needs." She looked over, incredulously at her son who sat quietly on Nick's lap, snuggled against his chest as Nick absently rubbed gentle circles on Noah's back.

"Noah, you givin your Mom a hard time?" Noah looked up at Nick then over at Olivia and timidly buried his face against Nick's chest while giving Olivia a sweet, apologetic smile.

"This kid!" She grinned, shaking her head. "He was screaming his head off before you got here, now look at him."

"What can I say? He loves me!" Nick smiled. As much as she still wanted to be pissed off at him for the stunt he pulled in her office tonight, seeing him with her son resting so peacefully in his arms softened her. Noah loves him so much. He loves his uncle Fin too but with Nick it's different - it melts her heart especially seeing that Nick loves Noah just as fiercely.

Well. If you're here this late, I'm assuming you have nowhere to be, so how about you keep him quiet while I get out of this dress and grab a bath?"

"You don't have to change on my account..."

Olivia gave him a look that made him laugh.

"Go, I got this."

"Half hour - tops!" She said giddily as she hopped up from where she sat, bending down to kiss her son and whispering _I love you. _To him with a kiss. "Thanks Nick." She said with a warm smile that made his heart stop. She had no idea what these little gestures did to him. As much as she could infuriate him - like she's done this past week, he loves her. He's never loved any woman the way he loves her and he knows he never will.

"Just between us, Mano; I'm gonna marry your mom one day!" He whispered to Noah.

"Mama?"

"...and I'm gonna be the dad you deserve because I promise, nobody but her loves you more than me."

"Me?" Noah asked.

"That's right, Mano, I love you!" Nick said with a kiss.

"Luh you" Noah cooed softly, sleepily as he looked up at Nick while rubbing his eyes with his little fists and leaving Nick choked up.

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**Let's see how these two manage to ruin the moment in the next chapter - cuz you know they will. Please take a moment to review, it shows love and makes me happy.**


	7. Unspoken

**Chapter seven and I can't thank you guys enough for the overwhelming response. You guys keep reading and I promise to keep writing. Dick Wolf owns these characters. Enjoy.**

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"Thanks for watching Noah." Olivia smiled at Nick upon reentering the living room, freshly scrubbed and relaxed in her fluffy bathrobe, her hair tied up in a messy knot atop her head, loose tendrils falling around her face and neck. Nick looked up at her from where he stood at her kitchen counter, twisting the cap off a bottle of water and he smiled. She took his breath away!

_Beautiful! _He thought to himself as he watched her take a seat in one of the chairs on the other side on the counter.

"It's... No problem. He was out five minutes after you left." He stammered nervously fidgeting with the cap on his water bottle.

"You definitely have a way with him, I don't know what I would have done without you tonight." She smiled and Nick could see the difference in her from when he'd gotten here earlier. Though she had a calm exterior he could tell that she was about two seconds from snapping and now she was relaxed and smiling - it made him smile just to see her this way and he again found himself staring, lost in thought at seeing her slender fingers brush aside a loose lock of hair and tuck it behind her ear then continued trailing absently to the back of her neck where she began twirling the hair at her nape around her finger, the movement causing her robe to shift and give Nick a glimpse of her collarbone and the swell of her breast; golden, silken skin just begging to be suckled and caressed.

Nick couldn't help the heat that immediately flushed through his veins and made his cheeks blush bright red when he remembered how that skin felt beneath his hands; beneath his lips, around his head as he feasted on her tonight...

"What?" She asked noticing the far-away look about him.

"It's... Nothing. He smiled mysteriously then took a long, slow sip from his water bottle, licking his lips as he recapped it and returned it to the counter. Now it was Olivia's turn to be flustered as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, tightly squeezing her thighs together in an attempt to relieve the pressure that was steadily building between them while her nipples hardened and throbbed painfully against the plush cotton of her robe. The way his adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed...the tip of his tongue over his lips; GOD! She could still feel him on her. She'd gotten herself off in the bathtub, her fingers dipping beneath the water and rubbing hard and fast against her clit while the fingers of her other hand pulled and twisted her nipples all while imagining her hands were Nick's. Still, making herself come, even a hundred times couldn't satisfy the absolute ache she had for Nick and right now she knew exactly where she wanted his lips and it had nothing to do with that damn water bottle. _Damn you!_

"So..." She began, clearing her throat. "You never did say why you came- why you're here"

Nick gave a sly grin as he exited the kitchen, sipping his water as he make his way to the living room with Olivia cursing herself and watching him so hard, her eyes could have burned a hole through him. She drank in everything about him, had from the day they met almost four years ago - his walk - confident, macho and inherently Nick; his long, strong legs... She especially loved his back; broad and muscular, the way it tapered and curved at his waist... She remembered pulling him closer then dragging her nails across the skin while he was in top of her...

"I was leaving the game with Fin when I realized... I think I have something that belongs to you." He said as he took a seat on the couch, resting back against the throw pillows, arms outstretched.

"What could you possibly have that belongs to me?" She asked, amused, quickly rising from her seat at the counter to join him on the couch and sure to sit all the way on the other end.

"Um..." He grinned as he dug into his pants pocket to retrieve a triangle of black silk, dangling in front of her the thong panties he'd taken off in her office earlier. Her mouth fell open in shock.

"I spent 20 minutes looking for those!" She said in mock ire as she reached to snatch them from his hand but he was quicker and kept them away with a laugh. She lunged again, this time leaping up and pressing her knee into his lap while one arm pushed against his chest, pushing him back further against the pillows and allowing her to grab them from his hand... It also caused her to lose her balance and tumble forward, right on top of him, chest to chest, face to face. Nick instinctively wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her and she lay her palm against his chest as they stared at each other in silence. Their mouths were so close, each could feel the other's breath and she could feel his heart beating beneath her fingertips.

Feeling as if the very air had been sucked from her lungs as she stared into his dark, sexy eyes and feeling the never-ending ache between her thighs, she felt her walls contracting and she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth while his eyes followed, and he grew hard, wishing he could be pulling that lip into his own mouth- pull them both in and kiss them until they were red and swollen, and she wanted to be kissed just as badly, feeling as if his lips were pulling her in. She was so fucking wet, she could feel her moisture on her thighs while thoughts of him reaching under her dress in her office before burying his face in her pussy... She felt like she would come at any second and he wasn't even touching her!

She fought the urge to kiss him. It felt like an eternity had passed but it had only been a handful of seconds before she pulled away.

"So you've been running around with Fin all night with my panties in your pocket?"

"Not intentionally"

"Please tell me he didn't..."

"No!" Nick laughed "he didn't see... Come on, I wouldn't let that happen."

"I'm glad you find this funny, Amaro!"

"You don't?"

"No, I... A little." She grinned before they slipped into an uncomfortable silence.

"You serious about transferring?"

"I mean... I was at the time."

"And now?"

"I think... Liv, you and me... We're complicated."

"But we weren't always..." She said quietly.

"Things change."

"Maybe that was where we went wrong... Nick,we crossed a line that we shouldn't have."

"Do you really believe that, that we shouldn't have?"

"I'm your C/O..." She reminded him and stood up, busying herself by picking up Noah's toys and books

"Can I ask you something?"

"You kinda just did."

"When we made love..."

"We didn't make love - _making_ love implies _being _in love..." She corrected, Nick rolled his eyes

"...when we made, love"

"Was that an eye roll? So... What? You gonna tell me how I feel?"

"You gonna tell me I'm wrong?"

"Nick..."

"I'm not, am I?"

"It doesn't matter!"

"How can you say that?" He asked somewhat angrily but was careful to keep his voice down.

"What do you _want_ me to say? Hmm? That I'm willing to risk my job, my livelihood for what?"

"But you don't have to; Liv, once I'm transferred we're free to be together and there's not a damn thing 1PP can say about it. Don't you want that?"

"I don't know what I want. This is all just... I couldn't even look at you after, Nick. We were best friends and we crossed a line."

"We're still best friends, Liv. There's no one in this entire world I trust more than you! My wife let me down, my own mother and sister betrayed me but you've always been the one person I've never had to worry about hurting me, I know that no matter what, you got my back a hundred and ten percent just like I got yours!" He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. She reluctantly allowed herself to relax against him, something about his embrace just felt organic.

"And as for that line, I would cross it a million times if it meant being this close to you."

"This is foolish!" She broke his hold on her waist and walked away, putting what she felt was much-needed space between them.

"Love isn't foolish"

"Will you stop saying that?"

"Stop saying what?" He asked softly as he stepped in front of her, slowly pulling her back into him then tucking that same stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"Saying _that_... That word!"

"What? Love?" He dipped his head to catch her eyes as he caressed her face. "I mean is it really that far-fetched, the idea of me loving you? Because I do, Olivia, I love you, and call me crazy but I think you feel it too."

"Nick, don't..."

"Liv, you're my best friend and I don't wanna ruin that but I want more and I'm not willing to just stand by and wait for another man to come in and take what should have been mine all along. I let Cassidy do it because I was too afraid of losing, but I won't make that mistake again!"

"You were jealous?" She asked with a smug grin.

"Damn right I was! He never deserved you!"

"And you do?"

It's not about what I deserve, it's about what _you_ do... You deserve a man who'll worship you; someone who'll love you and protect you and who wants the same things you do, someone who'll put you first and who'll do the same for Noah. That's all I want... Just a chance to try."

Olivia looked up at him and in his eyes she saw nothing but sincerity. There was so much she wanted to say to him, so much she _needed_ to say; she loved him too. She'd known long before they ever made love a week ago. There'd always been an attraction from the day they met and it grew. More so because of the ordeal she'd gone through with Lewis. What happened to her... Nobody had been affected the way he had and she knew that the day he walked into that beach house. He'd seen her at her absolute worse that day and even with the question heavy in the air about what may or may not have been done to her and everyone staring at her with pity, in his eyes she'd only seen one thing, relief.

He'd been a rock for her through recovery - had given her his shoulder to get things off her chest that she couldn't say to anyone else, not even Brian... Especially not Brian. Nick had been the only person who didn't handle her with kid gloves, he treated her as if she were still the same person she was before having her life nearly destroyed. It wasn't a matter of telling him her secrets - there are things about those four days that she would never tell anyone because she didn't think anyone would ever be able to bear the weight of them, not even Nick. But still, that ordeal brought them closer and she'd begun seeing him as more than just a friend and often thought about what exploring _more_ could mean for them but he was going through things with his marriage and she and Brian were...

Now here they are, both free to explore, to see what they could be but she was afraid. It wasn't just the fact that NYPD would frown _heavily_ on their relationship, but she was afraid of what everyone else would think. Even if he did transfer to another department, people would wonder if they'd started the relationship while she was still his commanding officer. She knew better than anyone what rumors - especially true ones could do to a reputation that she fought 22 years to build and as a woman in the NYPD that was no easy feat. She wanted to kick herself for giving in again in her office but she was powerless against him when he touched her. Then there was that whole thing with Rollins that he thought she hasn't known about. And with everything else, she was simply afraid of failing. If they failed at love she would lose him as a friend and her son would lose because of their mistake; she couldn't bear it.

So, could she see herself drowning in him? Yes. Did she love and want him? More than anything. But when it came down to it...

"Nick I'm sorry... I can't." She said in a pained whisper upon pulling her lips away; both of them feeling the pain of losing.

"Liv..." He didn't hide the tears that were filling his eyes and threatening to spill over.

"It's better this way." She fought like hell so that hers wouldn't show.

Nick stood there with her, their foreheads pressed together as he held her face between his hands. He kissed her lips then licked the tears that had fallen onto his and kissed her once more before pulling away, nodding.

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna go."

"It's late. You could just..."

"It's okay." He assured as he backed away then turned to head for the door, stopping when he grabbed his coat and scarf from the rack.

"You, me and little man, we still on for Radio City tomorrow?"

"Sesame Street live... Noah's gonna be so excited. Two o'clock?"

"See you then" he said and left, Olivia making her way to the door to lock up.

Outside, Nick looked back at the door, his tears falling in steady trails down his face. He raised his hand to knock but froze mid air and decided against it, instead opting to walk away while inside, Olivia turned the last lock and leaned against the door, her face pressed to the wood as her tears began. She cried them silently, wanting nothing more than to go after him and to let him take her in his arms and to her bed and make love to her until circumstances didn't matter but...

She pulled herself away from the door after a moment and turned off the lights, checking on Noah in his room before heading for her own where she cried herself to sleep.

Had it not been for the noise in their own heads, they each night have been able to hear the others' hearts as they broke right down the middle.

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**Why must they complicate things? See you all soon with chapter eight. How about taking a moment to leave a review? Just hit the button. Thanks for reading.**


	8. Hurdles

**I'm back. So here's chapter 8 and things are gonna be heading into, well I'm trying to keep things a bit more cannon in this story - but not all the way, creative liberty is just too much fun! Again, thank you all so much for the love you've shown this story. You guys make this all so much fun. Not sure how much longer we have with this story but I'll try to keep it good until the end and if I don't just let me know. Here we go, Dick Wolf owns these characters. Enjoy.**

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It had been three weeks of tension between she and Nick after that night in her apartment. Two weeks where they drove themselves crazy trying to coexist when all he wanted every minute of every day was to pin her down and kiss her, make love to her until she realized how silly she was being. He knew in his heart that she loved him - he'd bet his life on it but as much as he needed to have more, for now he was willing to settle for what they had - being her best friend and being there for Noah. He knew and understood the concerns she had for her son and he was grateful that he'd be one of the men in the child's life who would be there to teach him how to be a man. Thing was, Nick wanted to be Noah's main influence. Fin and Raf were great, he'd never begrudge the part they played in Noah's life but while they were content being _Tios _to the boy, Nick wanted more than anything to be his father and knew that if he could just get Olivia to see past her own fears... She was endgame for him. He'd known this even through her Cassidy phase and though he'd found himself discouraged at times, in his heart he never stopped believing and once this transfer happened. He knew she'd come around.

Nick watched from his desk as Olivia entered the squad room on her first day back and again he could tell that something was off. She hadn't been herself ever since they closed the Thornhill case last week and took down that trafficker. She'd taken last week off but he'd stopped by her place a couple times and she seemed frazzled. He'd asked about it but she dismissed it, said she was just tired but Nick knew better. However trying to get Olivia Benson to open up when she wanted to hold things in - it was easier to get blood from a rock!

"Those of you who haven't completed their REQUIRED yearly department physicals, get your asses into gear. I want EVERYONE seen by week's end so make time! This is not a request!" Olivia barked to the squad before marching straight to her office and shutting the door without so much as a 'hello' to anyone.

Amanda looked at Fin who looked at Nick who in turn looked at Carisi who was busy stuffing his face with a bacon, egg and cheese bagel at his desk. While the other detectives and unis just buzzed about in the background.

"What?" Carisi asked with his mouth full. "Hey, I already got mine done, I know better than to piss her off!" He said and went back to eating. Fin and Amanda laughed while Nick grimaced. He'd been sick to his stomach the last week throwing up like crazy - twice since he'd gotten here this morning and the smell of Carisi's greasy bacon had him fighting the urge again. He needed to get away from it and was thankful that he needed to check on Liv, it was the perfect out.

... ... ...

"Okay what's goin on?" He asked as he entered the office and shut the door. "And don't say it's nothing."

It shocked him when instead of denying, Olivia seemed to crumble, suddenly seeming so small behind her desk, her face etched with worry as she reached for Noah's picture on her desk and her eyes filled with tears.

"I don't know what to do." She confessed as calmly as she could though the urgency in her voice was unmistakable.

"What's goin on Liv? Is Noah okay?" He asked, panic in his tone as he took a seat on the sofa. She had already gotten up and was making her way to him.

"Whatever I say to you does not leave this room, please." She asked and took a seat beside him.

"Of course... Whatever it is." He promised. Olivia paused and released a nervous breath before speaking again.

"You remember when we found Noah, we ran his DNA to try to find a familial match?"

"Yeah but we never got a hit until Ellie got arrested..."

"Well, looks like lightning struck twice in the exact same way."

"What are you talking about?" Nick asked, afraid of what her answer might be.

"What I'm talking about is... Nick, we found Noah's father."

"What? After all this time?"

"Yeah. He um...he managed to stay out of the system - until now." Her leg shook as she chewed her bottom lip between her teeth. "It's not good." She cried in a whisper.

"Who is it?" Nick asked, feeling his stomach tighten and churl as his nervousness increased. He was just as on edge as Olivia at this point.

"The uh, the trafficker we locked up." Nick's eyes went wide with shock.

"Johnny D?!"

"Yeah. That sick son a bitch is Noah's father. And if he finds out, I lose my son!"

In utter shock, Nick put his arm around Olivia and pulled her close, quickly feeling her tears wet his shirt.

"Like hell you will! I don't care whose DNA he has, Noah is your son and I'll be damned if ANYONE takes him away from you, I swear I won't let it happen!" He vowed. "Who else knows about this?"

"Aside from Melinda; Trevor Langan. He's Noah's law guardian, he has to know what we're up against."

"Do you trust him?"

"He wants what's best for Noah and he thinks I'm what's best."

"We got that on our side. Liv I don't want you to worry about this."

"Easier said than done" she scoffed as she sat up to look at Nick "I can't lose him, Nick... He's all I have."

"Nobody is taking Noah away from you." He promised as he wiped her tears. "Definitely not a scumbag like Drake. No judge in their right mind would even give him rights to a child, forget custody."

"But what if..."

"No. We're gonna do whatever we need to do, you hear me?" He asked, pulling her into his arms and holding her. "He's home and nobody is gonna take him away from us!"

There was something about the word he used, _us_. It gave her comfort. She wasn't in this alone.

"He's been asking for you, you know? Why don't you come by for dinner tonight?

"Sounds good. What are we having?" He asked though the thought of food literally sickened him right now.

"Whatever you're bringing." She managed to laugh in spite of her tears. "Nick, you don't look so good, are you okay?" She asked in all seriousness, the suddenly-greenish tint to his skin worrying her.

"Yeah, I just... It'll pass." And it would. It always did, but it always came back. He had no time to stop it as he dropped to his knees, grabbed Olivia's wastebasket that sat by the couch and began violently throwing up into it.

"My God, Nick!" Olivia had never seen him like this before and was worried as she moved closer to him and rubbed his back in soft circles while gently combing her fingers through his hair, much like she did with Noah when he'd throw up.

"I'm sorry!" He felt terrible about this happening in her office.

"It's okay just let it out." She'd barely gotten the words out of her mouth before another violent gush erupted from his just as Fin walked in.

"Everything okay in - oh damn!"

"No, he's sick!" Olivia cried.

"He's been sick all week, man I told you to stay home!" Fin wasn't even attempting to mask his disgust as he snapped a picture of his sick colleague from his phone.

"Shut up Fin!" Nick stammered, his head still down in the wastebasket. "You tweet that, I'll kill you!"

"Too late! Fin laughed.

"Guys, knock it off!" Olivia ordered. "Nick, you're going home, and Fin I need you to take him."

"I feel better now." Nick promised. "I can stay."

"Nice try Amaro. You're out of here!"

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She'd somehow managed to get through the day without falling apart over the whole situation with Noah and was thankful to have gotten out by four and that she was now back at home with him in her arms.

"Did you miss mama?"

"Mish" he whispered with a nod of his head

"I missed you too. All I could think about all day was getting home to you."

"Mama home."

"I am." She smiles as she snuggled him in her arms. She couldn't imagine not being able to come home to him every night. Just the thought of it made her heart twist itself in a knot. "Looks like it's just you and me tonight buddy?"

"Hmmm... Unc?" Noah frowned and Olivia couldn't help but laugh.

"Baby I don't think..." She was cut short by the doorbell.

"Doe mama!" Noah announced quite loudly, pointing in that direction. Letting Olivia know when the doorbell rang had become his favorite thing and he took immense pride in it.

Olivia made her way to the door, again surprised to see Nick.

"Aren't you supposed to be sick?" She asked with a smirk while Noah nearly jumped out of her arms trying to get to Nick before he could even get his coat off.

"I told you it would pass. Besides, there's no way I'm missing dinner with two of my favorite people." He said, finally having hung his coat. "I brought Italian."

"We like Italian!" She smiled. "Are you even able to eat?" She asked with a chuckle as he followed her to the kitchen.

"You were pretty sick in my office, I don't want a repeat performance in my living room."

"No worries. It's just a morning thing, comes and goes" he explained, reaching for Noah but Olivia pulled him back from Nick's reach. This did not sit well with Noah who began whining.

"_A morning thing? _What are you, pregnant?" She grinned.

"Oh, jokes!"

"Somebody has to. You're not contagious, are you?" Nick couldn't help but laugh.

"Mama wun go!" Noah demanded impatiently.

"I promise, I am not contagious. Jesus Olivia, you see anybody else sick around the precinct?"

"No."

"Exactly! Now hand him over... Hey buddy!" He smiled to Noah before hugging him close. Noah happily threw his little arms around Nick's neck and began happily jumping up and down on his lap while Olivia unpacked the food.

"This smells amazing! Marco's?"

"Lorenzo's"

"You read my mind." She smiled. "They have the best garlic bread!"

"I hope you're gonna eat more than bread."

"You kidding? I'm starving."

"Good cuz there's plenty. Ready for spaghetti, mano?"

"Setti!" Noah clapped excitedly as Olivia turned to look at him and smiled. Even with the worries that she'd voiced to Dr. Lindstrom about Noah's behavior, now that she knew the the kind of man he'd come from it didn't change her love for him and just the thought that she could lose him...

"Hey..." Nick said as he put his arm around her as if reading her mind. "Don't. I told you, he's home."

She hasn't even realized she was crying until she felt her sons little fingers trying to wipe her tears.

"Mama?" Noah could see that she was upset and offered a big smile to make her feel better, feeling his own relief when she gave him a smile in return.

"Come here little man" she cooed as she took him from Nick's arms and held him tight while littering his cheek with kisses. "I love you! I don't ever want you to forget that. Noah's big eyes looked directly into his mothers and he just stared at her for a long moment before smiling again and giving her a hug around the neck then burying his face in the crook of her neck as he held her. She lost it, leaning into Nick as he put his arms around both of them, unable to stop his own tears.

... ... ...

At some point they managed to get their emotions under control and have a nice dinner and now sat on the living room floor playing with Noah. They'd just given him a bath and now he ran around the living room enjoying himself before bedtime.

"Unc weed?" He asked as he handed Nick his favorite book about lions. Olivia got up to get his bottle knowing that if he was ready to sit and be read to, he was tired and would soon be asleep. From the kitchen she looked over at them. Noah was so content whenever he was in Nick's arms and she wished that her son had a man like him for a father instead of the monster that created him. But coming from bad DNA didn't necessarily make you a terrible person.

_"Before you and Kathy had kids, did you ever wonder how they were going to turn out?"_

_"All the time, still do."_

_"At least you know what you're passing on... half my genes are drunk, and the other half are violent and cruel."_

_"And look how great you turned out... It's not all about the genes, Liv, all you can do is love your kids."_

Her mind had wandered to Elliot a lot lately. What she wouldn't give to be able to talk to him right now. She missed him.

Her reverie was cut short by her phone ringing. She looked at the display, seeing it was a work number before answering.

"Benson."

"Sergeant Benson, do you have a minute?" The woman's voice asked from the other end.

"Yeah, what's going on?" Olivia listened as the woman introduced herself then proceeded to tell Olivia the reason for her call. As the woman went on talking...

"What? I... You're sure about this? ...no... I'll take care of it first thing tomorrow. Thank you for calling."

Olivia hung up the phone and just stood there in shock for a long moment before she forced her feet to move and carry to to the living room where she handed Noah his bottle. His chubby hands accepted it as he thanked this mother and he greedily turned it up to feast on it as Olivia, still stunned, took a seat on the sofa.

"Liv... You okay?" Nick asked upon noticing the state she was in.

"You son of a bitch!"

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**Sooooo, who was on the phone? And what did she say? What has Nick done? So many questions! I promise to answer them quickly if you guys want it. So talk to me! **

**P.S. for those of you reading my 'Anytime, Anyplace Bensaro sexcerpts', I'm now taking requests so leave your scenario ideas in the comments section on the story or pm me if you're shy. See you guys next time!**


	9. Slipped

**Sorry for the wait. We're picking up where we left off so let's get to it. Thanks, awesome readers and reviewers, enjoy!**

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"Wait, what are you talkin about? Who was that on the phone?" Nick asked as he got up from the floor still holding Noah, and sat beside Olivia on the sofa.

"I ca... You know what? You should go!" She was nearly in tears and Nick could see that she was highly upset as she took Noah from his arms and stood.

"Liv, what the hell's goin on?"

"Mama down" Noah cried as he wiggled in Olivia's arms. She put him down on the floor and absently rejoined Nick on the sofa while Noah toddled over to his toy box. Nick couldn't hide his worry as he looked over at her, leaning forward and wringing her hands while chewing her lip, seemingly having blocked Nick's presence from her mind.

"Olivia" he called softly as he put his hand on her shoulder. "Please talk to me."

"Do not touch me!" She snapped angrily, moving to the other end of the couch. "I think you've done enough damage!"

"Olivia, I am not a mind reader. I don't know what whoever that was just said to you but it's obviously got you pissed!"

_"Piss" Noah _repeated in a whisper as he dug through his things in search of his play phone but with the top half of his body in the toy bin, his new word went unheard by Nick and Olivia.

"No, it's what _you_ did that pissed me off!"

_"Piss..."_

"How will I know what that is if you won't tell me?!"

"The department physical..."

"Already did it."

"So did I. That was the nurse calling about my lab results."

"What does that have to do with me? Wait... Liv, I'm clean, I'd never put you at risk you know that. There's no way I would've made love to you unprotected or at all if I thought there was even a remote possibility..."

"Nick...it's not that."

"Then...?"

"I'm pregnant"

Nick had to fight to keep himself from fainting while at the same time an impossibly huge smile spread across his face.

"Mine?" He asked, completely dumbfounded and overjoyed as he placed his palm against her stomach.

"You're touching me again..."

... ... ...

"No, Nick, don't you get it? There is no way to _"fix" _this. God, how could I have been stupid enough to let this happen?!" She cried while pulling at her hair. They'd been going back and forth about this for fifteen minutes and they were both frustrated beyond measure.

"Liv... Come on. Look, I'll be transferring to another department soon, it'll be okay..."

"_"Okay"? _I don't know what's more ridiculous; the fact that you're actually saying those words, or the probability that you're naive enough to actually believe them!" She took a deep breath as tears fell from her eyes, the realization of just how bad the situation truly is, hitting her hard and making her feel sick to her stomach.

"How did this even happen? Almost two years with Brian and nothing but you manage to knock me up in one night!"

"That's really all it takes..."

"We fucked up!" She said as she sank to the sofa and buried her head in her her hands.

_"fuck..." _Noah said in his tiny voice but this time loud enough to be heard as he looked up, smiling at his mother, proud to have learned yet _another _new word in the last few minutes. Both adults looked in his direction, suddenly aware that there were precious ears taking in their every word.

"Come here baby" Olivia cooed as she reached down and lifted her son onto her lap, handed him his bottle and wrapped her arms protectively around his little body as she kissed the top of his head. Nick sat down beside them.

"We did not mess up" Nick began but was cut off when she suddenly began laughing hysterically through her tears, frightening Nick.

"Are you kidding me? I am the Commanding Officer of my unit and I fell into bed with and got pregnant by my subordinate... My bed...in my apartment...while my infant son was sleeping in the next room. I might as well go straight down to 1PP and hand them my badge and gun... You should come too, it'll save us the embarrassment of having them stripped away and everyone knowing why!"

"Look, maybe this didn't happen under the mist ideal of circumstances but I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that this isn't the most amazing thing in the world, because it is."

"You're crazy! Do you understand, at all, the repercussions that are going to come from this?"

"Do you understand, at all that I don't care about the repercussions? Liv, you are having my baby! I'm gonna be a father again... Noah, Zara, they get a baby brother or sister... Aren't you happy about this?"

"At this moment; it's complicated I just... Nick this is bad and I can't pretend... I need to put Noah to bed, can you let yourself out?" She asked as she stood up.

"Yeah, but Liv, come on..."

"Say goodnight to uncle Nick, baby." She said to Noah without turning to look at Nick.

"Night night" Noah waved sleepily with an open-close motion of his hand. Nick stood up and kissed him on the top of his head.

"Goodnight Mano. Liv... We have to talk about this."

"And we will, just not tonight. Please." Nick released a sad sigh before kissing Olivia's temple. He lingered there for a moment, inhaling her scent, tears filling both their eyes.

"See you tomorrow." He whispered against her skin. She simply nodded and walked off to Noah's room holding her son close while her mind spun in a million directions.

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**See you guys next chapter. Remember, reviews are love.**


	10. Reset

**Chapter ten. I love you all, thank you so much for the response and HUGE thanks to y'all who take the time to leave reviews, I love you guys most because you make me feel appreciated. Not much to say except, enjoy!**

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It had been four days and Nick and Olivia still hadn't talked about the pregnancy aside from what had become their ritual when he'd see her each morning:

"You feelin ok? "He'd ask cautiously, not wanting to push, only to be met with her go-to answer for everything.

"I'm fine."

She carried on around the office as if nothing were out of place, as if she and Nick hadn't hadn't had their lives rocked by a huge revelation; they'd interact as work dictated they should and after work, Nick would wait faithfully for the phone to ring or a text asking him to come over to talk but neither ever came, she would never bring up the baby. And it left him feeling as if she thought that ignoring it would make it go away. Nick tried his best to be patient, to give her space, fully understanding how hard this all must be for her with dealing with Noah's situation (another thing she'd stopped talking about) and finding out about a pregnancy that she, that _they_ had in no way planned. Still, even with the shock of it all, Nick couldn't help being happy about it and had been praying since he left her apartment that night that she'd come around and see the good in this. He loved Olivia and had no doubt in his mind that she felt the same. He knew in his heart that their baby would be just the bridge they needed to get where they needed to be - with each other. Unless her evasiveness had been about her not wanting the baby at all and waiting for the right time to tell him - not that there's _ever_ a right time for a man to hear from the woman he loves that she's not interested in having their child - after said child has already been conceived and is growing inside her.

Today he sat at his desk faithfully, nervously watching the squad room doors, waiting for her to walk through them while he sipped ginger ale to calm his raging stomach. Spending his mornings with his head in the toilet - at least now it made sense and he was pretty sure that he was experiencing the symptoms that Olivia obviously wasn't, right down to sore nipples and moodiness the last couple days and he sat googling the possibility as he watched the doors.

"So I got another ticket to the game tonight, you in?" Fin asked, startling Nick who hadn't heard him coming.

"Man, how do you keep managing to get your hands on courtside seats to the Knicks?" Nick asked while closing the browser on his phone.

"I got a guy." Fin shrugged.

"Don't you know by now, Fin's got a guy for everything." Amanda snickered from her desk.

"So you comin?" Fin asked. "Although I should probably be keepin my distance from you and your mystery illness. But if figure if I didn't catch it yet I probably won't..."

"There's nothing to catch, I'm not sick." Nick said with a swig of his ginger ale.

"Says the guy who's been puking his guts out every day for what...almost two weeks now?" Carisi, of course had to jump in.

"Not that it's anybody's business but its just stress, okay? I'm not contagious."

"Nobody's been under more stress than Liv lately and you don't see her throwin up." Amanda joked as she got up and walked across the room for more coffee.

"Funny Rollins. Hey, speaking of Liv, it's almost ten, not like her to be so late getting in." Nick observed.

"That's cuz she's not comin in."Fin informed the squad. "She called out this morning, said she had something to take care of."

Nick's heart dropped while simultaneously pounding so hard and fast, he could hear it in his ears. "Did she... I mean, is it serious?" He asked, trying to sound indifferent with his stomach forming that particularly painful knot that only Olivia could cause it to tie itself into.

"Serious enough if she called out." Fin supposed.

_My baby... She's getting rid of my baby! _Nick's mind was in complete overdrive as he shakily stood up from his desk.

"Nick, you alright?" Amanda asked with a hand to his shoulder. He caught a whiff of her perfume - the same perfume that he once thought was amazing, and it didn't agree with him, making him insanely nauseous.

"Yeah...just not feeling too good." His face had suddenly gone pale and he felt like there was too much saliva in his mouth.

"Uh oh, clear a path, he's gonna blow!" Carisi yelled as Nick turned and made a dash for the bathroom.

... ... ...

Moments later after emptying his stomach Nick stood at the sink frantically dialing Olivia. Her phone rang once before going to voicemail and Nick knew what that meant; she was avoiding him, which could only mean that she must be at the clinic right this minute and doesn't want him stopping her from...

"No...no she wouldn't do that without talking to you first." He said out loud to himself but then his mind wandered back to that night they found out and how upset she'd been...

_"You're crazy! Do you understand, at all, the repercussions that are going to come from this? Nick this is bad and I can't pretend..."_

"Oh god, Liv, no!" He cried as he dialed her apartment. The phone rang three times before Lucy answered.

"Lucy, it's Nick. Is Olivia home?"

"Uh, no she had an appointment, she won't be back for a few hours."

"...and if you're there, it means Noah's not with her..." He mumbled nervously.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I don't... I'm having a hard time getting hold of her and I'm just a little worried."

"Well, I could have her call you when she gets back."

"Better yet, when she gets there could you call me instead?"

"Uh...sure..." The young woman agreed, confused and unsure of what exactly she'd just agreed to. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah... Thanks Lucy. I'll let you go, kiss little man for me."

"I will." As soon as Nick hung up he dialed Olivia's cell phone again. Again sent to voicemail.

"Olivia, it's Nick. You need to call me as soon as possible!" He said with all urgency before hanging up.

"Liv please... Don't do this!"

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**So where is Olivia and is she really doing what Nick thinks she's doing? Stay tuned to find out. In the meantime, how about hitting that review button? Doesn't cost you anything and you don't need to be signed in but it would make this writer very happy. See y'all next time!**


	11. Clearing

**Eleven. Didn't make you guys wait long, so let's get to it. Dick Wolf owns these characters and he can totally feel free to borrow this story, lolol. Enjoy!**

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Radioactivewhisper, you know them so well.

.

"You're home." Lucy smiled as she turned around from where she and Noah sat reading on the couch upon hearing Olivia enter the apartment.

"Mama!" Noah cried happily as he crawled down off Lucy's lap and made a beeline for his mother, going as fast as his little legs could carry him, Lucy right on his tail to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

"I am. Hi baby boy" she gave a smile as she hung her coat. "I'm sorry I'm so late, I didn't expect to be gone so long." She said as she scooped Noah up in her arms who had given up on running after he stumbled and swiftly crawled the rest of the way to his mother.

"No worries. We had a had a great time, didn't we Noah?" Lucy cooed to the toddler. Noah's face quickly lit up as he looked at his mother and began babbling incoherently and quite animatedly, recounting his day. Olivia making out the words 'doggy' and 'park' to which she replied, just as excitedly about his newest adventure as the three of them got comfortable on the couch.

After their brief conversation during which Noah barked several times, making Olivia and Lucy laugh, he threw his tiny arms around Olivia's neck and gave her his version of a kiss before lying down on her shoulder.

"Any luck with eradicating the F bomb?" She asked Lucy. Since learning the word less than a week ago, Noah used it often no matter how much he'd been discouraged from doing so and seemed to get quite a kick out of the reactions he got from it.

"Not exactly, but thankfully he only used it once today..." Lucy said timidly.

Let's pray for zero tomorrow." Olivia said wistfully as she kissed the top of his head and allowed a brief silence to settle between them.

"Liv, If I'm overstepping feel free to tell me to mind my own business but... Well is everything okay?" Lucy asked

"Yeah... Why do you ask?" Noah had now situated himself on Olivia's lap and was now reaching for the book Lucy had been reading to him when Olivia walked in.

"You just haven't seemed yourself lately; especially today..."

"Mama weed?" He asked as handed Olivia the book.

"In a minute baby. I appreciate the concern but I'm fine, really.

"...then Nick called, he said it was nothing but he sounded worried...even asked me to call him when you got home. "Lucy continued.

"Mama weeeeed!" Noah insisted with a whine.

"Sweetie, just give mama a minute." Olivia pled with the impatient toddler as she bounced him on her knee to calm him and turned to Lucy. "Well I can assure you, Nick is just...being Nick.

"Good to know. I'm gonna get going, unless you need me for anything else..."

"No I'm pretty tired, I'm just gonna get into my pajamas and cuddle with this one. I'll see you tomorrow though?"

"Bright and early... Bye Noah." The young woman smiled before gathering her things and leaving.

"Mama WEED!" he screamed as he snatched the book and angrily swung it at Olivia's face. It was quick reflexes that had her grasping the book before it made impact, saving her lip from a nasty blow and leaving her horrified and speechless at her son's behavior, holding him close while telling herself that this was just a new phase he was going through - which it was, but she had no way of knowing this and in light of recent discoveries about his beginnings she couldn't help the tears that made their way down her face.

* * *

.

Nick had spent his day calling Olivia's phone when he wasn't distracted by work, and each time found his calls still being sent straight to voicemail which kept him in a constant state of panic and wanting to hit something. Finally around four, Lucy came through for him. She had just left Olivia's and called Nick as promised. It had been his intention to go straight to her place but the squad got called to a crime scene that kept him until well after eight that evening but as soon as everything was tied up and still not having heard from Olivia, he made it to her apartment as fast as he could.

He arrived just after nine to be greeted by Olivia in leggings and a sweatshirt.

"Why the hell haven't you answered your phone all day?" Was the first thing out of his mouth as he walked past her and into the apartment.

"Hello to you too!" She sneered as she shut the door.

"That's not an answer to my question!"

"Oh I'm sorry, what was your question? I couldn't hear it over the sound of you being an ass!"

"Not in the mood, Olivia!" He warned

"That makes two of us, Nick!" She didn't hold back on the attitude as she stood in front of him, hands on her hips as she looked him square in the eye. And for a brief moment, he almost lost his train of thought while staring at her and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms until he noticed how puffy her eyes were - she'd been crying.

"Oh god, tell me you didn't abort our baby."

"What?! Where the hell would you get that idea?

"You've been quiet and isolating yourself from me all week, and then today you called out and I couldn't reach you and then I come in here tonight and you've been crying..."

"So you naturally assume that I had an abortion, are you insane?" She cried incredulously as she took a seat on the sofa

"So... You didn't?" He asked, as he sank down beside her.

"Of course I didn't! What the hell is wrong with you? Trevor thinks we should try to expedite the adoption and that's why I called out today. Judge Linden wanted to meet with us and today was the only opening she had. That went on a couple hours then led to a ton of paperwork that needed to be filed with the family court clerk today if we wanted to be on the next docket.

"I feel like the world's biggest ass! So everythings good?"

"Looks like it. The final hearing is in two weeks but I'm not gonna let myself get excited until judge Linden signs the adoption decree and he's mine!"

"Liv... I'm sorry, I just... You were so upset about this. I thought you didn't want it."

"I still don't know how I feel about all of this but you have to know that I'd never do anything behind your back."

"So you've thought about it?"

"Abortion? Never... I couldn't do that, but to be honest, I haven't had much time to think about anything outside of this mess with Noah's father."

"He is NOT Noah's father and I don't wanna hear you say that again!"

"Yeah, because denying it makes it go away..." She quipped sarcastically.

"No, it doesn't but saying it out loud...just don't. Noah shares DNA with the loser but he is not his son in any way!"

"Sometimes I wonder." Her voice was near-whispering.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I just...he gets upset so easily, he breaks things... hurts himself and I don't know how much of it is just normal toddler behavior."

"Liv, it's all completely normal." He promised as he put his arm around her. She didn't refuse his touch and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"He tried to hit me, Nick!" She couldn't hold back her tears.

"Liv, I promise this is not about where he comes from. Zara gave her mom a black eye when she was Noah's age, they don't mean to... They're learning and growing and they can be impatient but it's because they don't know how to express themselves yet. That's why they have us, to show them the right way."

"He got his first time out today."

"How'd _that_ go over?" Nick grinned.

"Worst five minutes of my life!"

"I mean for _him_, but okay." Nick laughed, making Olivia smile through her tears but she never moved from where she lay on his shoulder.

"I think he got the message..." She said with a sigh."Nick?"

"Hmm?"

"Why can't it just be this simple? Us, here like this and not have to worry about it? Why can't everything just...be?" Nick was taken aback by her question and unsure how to answer out of fear of ruining the moment.

"Do you..._want_ us to..._be_?"

"I want my life less complicated. I want to not have to worry about some maniac coming after my son. I want him to have a father he can be proud of and I want to be happy about this baby, Nick, I do, but at the same time I'm scared to death of the repercussions that could come from this."

"You're finally getting the family you've always wanted, you can't let the threat of Drake or even 1PP rain on that, Liv. Noah's not goin anywhere. He's _your_ son and that won't change and as far as him having a dad he can be proud of... I promise, he will one day."

His heart could feel the smile that settled upon her face and he reached over and took her hand in his own, gently allowing his fingers to dance over her palm before they entwined with her slender fingers and he let his thumb brush over the back of her hand, slowly, softly stroking the skin there. They lingered this way for a moment when Olivia suddenly pulled her her hand away and sat up, moving away from Nick and awkwardly pulling the sleeves of her sweatshirt down to cover both hands before wrapping both arms around herself.

"As far as this baby...Liv we'll figure it out." He promised after clearing his throat. "I just...I don't know how to be anything but happy about this."

"It's not just the mess we'll be in with NYPD, Nick I'm forty six years old... You know as well as I do what that could mean for this baby; there's a highly increased chance of something going wrong... I'm not even guaranteed that the pregnancy itself will be healthy at my age."

"He or she will be fine."

""He or she..." I don't know if I'm ready for it to be so...real just yet."

"It's already real. Our little peanut is already what, five weeks old?"

"You've been counting?"

"I made love to my dream and got the most amazing gift out of it, of course I'm counting" He said unapologetically, causing Liv to look away, chewing her lip while blushing terribly.

"Can I ask you something, Nick?"

"Anything."

"What's so special about me?" She asked quietly and Nick looked as if his heart had just broken, her question saddening him immeasurably.

"Nobody ever told you, did they?" Olivia shook her head 'no.'

"Guys have always made fools of themselves over my looks but then after... But you, I don't know, you act as if I'm this...treasure, and the truth is, I'm not."

"I wish you knew how wrong you were. Yes you're beautiful, and so sexy and you have a smile that could light the world but there's so much more than just that. You're tough, and funny, and smart and you just ooze class, confidence and intelligence."

"I "ooze"?" Olivia laughed at his choice of words.

"All over the place!" He grinned as he caught her gaze and held it with his own before slowly leaning in to her.

"Nick..."

"We're already in hot water, might as well let it boil!" He whispered. Their mouths hovered dangerously close to one another's, Olivia biting her bottom lip before she grabbed his necktie, pulled him in and climbed onto his lap, straddling him and cupping his face in her hands as she ravaged his mouth with her kiss; as they ravaged one another for a long moment, his hand lustfully kneading her ass while she ground against him. They went on this way until the need for air forced them to break apart.

"Make love to me!" She demanded, her chest heaving.

"I thought we had to be in love to make love." He teased with a grin.

"Fine then fuck me!" He wasn't prepared for how fast she pulled her sweatshirt off over her head and tossed it. "I'm horny as hell and I don't really care what you call it!" Nick was in complete awe at the vision that was Olivia on his lap shirtless, braless and wearing nothing but leggings that fit her like skin. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her breasts - Beautiful and full, her caramel nipples already at attention.

"My God, you're perfect!" He marveled, running his fingertip over the scar on her left breast before pulling her nipple into his mouth. She threw her head back on contact, whimpering as he sucked harder and grabbed her hair, pulling it free of the ponytail that held it then yanking it to pull her head further back, baring her neck to him and attacking it with his lips.

"This doesn't make us a couple!" She panted between fiery kisses.

"Yet!" He insisted, turning them and lying her down on her back and kissing her deep, sliding his tongue between her lips while she pulled at his clothes.

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**Maybe the peace can last? We'll know soon enough, how about leaving a review while we wait? See you all next time.**


	12. Heartfelt

**To those still reading this, thank you. I've had a hard time writing it due to my stroke and I sincerely want to say thanks for those of you who have held on. I'm sorry that the updates won't be as they were before but I promise they will continue, I just need time since my right hand was affected. That being said, here is chapter 12, enjoy it.**

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Olivia awoke and looked at the clock on the nightstand table, 5:04AM. She sighed at the digits and lied back down. Nick's arm came and snuggled around her while his head rested against hers.

"Good morning." He said as he nudged his cheek against hers with his hand wrapped lovingly on her stomach. She smiled before she turned to look at him.

"So says you." She smiled, reaching to touch his face. She wouldn't admit it, but she loved having him like this, getting to feel him so close and she quickly searched his eyes before kissing him deeply.

"That was unexpected." He said, his nose rubbing against hers, she caressed him before she put her hands over his and held them.

"I don't want this to end." She said looking up at him.

"It doesn't have to."

"It does, you know as well as I do that we can't stay like this." He thought about the situation and decided that he didn't want to admit it, but she was right.

"We still have just about an hour." He said as he kissed her shoulder.

"Nick-"

"Shhhh."

"How did I fall into this?" She said, giving in to his touch.

"We can talk about it later, right now, all I want is you." He said as he looked into her eyes. "You're so beautiful." He said as he kissed his way down her body.

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A week later at the precinct proved a lot of the same. Olivia wanted Nick but couldn't deal with the ramifications that would come with it and Nick was going crazy. Olivia was like a drug to him, they were like a drug to each other; every time they got a taste of each other they crumbled. Like now, they knew it was problematic but they couldn't help themselves. When she was with Nick, when he was inside her; the world stopped and only they existed. Now, Liv sat in her office listening to Barba as he went on about a case while she sat thinking of Nick.

"...if we file now, we get the advantage of..."

She sat playing quietly, with her necklace...

_She came repeatedly. Harder with more passion than she even knew what to do with and Nick was insatiable, taking her in ways that left her begging for more, and when he put his mouth on..._

"You alright Sergeant?" Barba asked.

"What?" She said, pulling from her reverie.

"You look kind of far away." He grinned.

"I was...thinking about...Noah." She lied, and got up, making her way to the window where she watched Nick who sat atop Fin's desk laughing at something Carisi said. God she wanted him.

"Uh-huh." Barba laughed.

"Uh-huh?" She asked, turning around. "What does that mean?"

""Nothing."

"Don't give me that."

"It's just that; look, I've seen that Amaro is..."

"Is..."

"...interested."

"In?"

"Oh come on Liv."

"What?" She asked, taking a seat behind her desk, so wet that she couldn't think straight. How did she get herself into this? She wondered as she crossed her legs, praying for some relief. This was as unprofessional as it came.

"What? Okay; let's...just take off our titles for a minute, no Sergeant, no ADA. Just as friends..."

"What are you getting at?"

"I'm getting at you and Nick."

"Me and Ni...what are you...?"

"Oh come off it Olivia. I see."

"See what?"

"See what? Alright are we gonna play this game or...?"

"What game? I told you, I was thinking about Nick; Noah; oh God!"

"The plot thickens."

"Rafael..."

"Don't worry, I won't say anything. I think it's good that you two are..."

"Don't."

"I was gonna say; talking." She looks at him. "Okay, not talking but..."

"Raf, I'm serious. This has to be between us."

"Liv."

She went quiet for a long moment before she got the nerve to speak up again.

"I think I'm falling in love with Nick."

...

Outside in the squad room, the fellas were sitting around the desks chatting.

"What you got for the Chamberlain case?" Fin asked Amaro.

"Aside from the boyfriend saying he has an alibi that so far is airtight? I know this guy is guilty..."

"...but how do we prove it?"

"That's the question." Nick said.

"Warner wants us down at the morgue." Carisi said, getting up and putting on his coat.

"Please tell me we got somethin." Fin spoke.

"We'll know soon enough." Carisi announced as they headed out the door, and Amaro walked to the coffee machine. He began pouring a cup of coffee when he started thinking about he and Olivia in the shower that morning.

_He made love to her while she stood against the door of the shower, he stood behind her as his hands roamed her body while he kissed her seductively, his hands caressing her body and she cried out, almost coming undone with the intensity with which he fucked..._

"Nick, whoa!" Amanda yelled.

"Oh hell!" He cried at the spilled coffee, wiping at the cup.

"Where'd you go just now?" She said, wiping at him.

"I was just... Nowhere." He said as he walked away to his desk.

"...uh huh." She grinned, sitting down at her desk.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just think it's...good. You know?" Olivia came out of the office with Barba, who was leaving.

"I'll file the papers and get back to you. Detectives." He said and left.

"Uh, we got a call down at Astor Place."

"Astor Place?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah, apparently a dead woman so let's keep this under wraps until we know more."

"Anything else?" Nick asked.

_Yeah, could you stop looking so damned irresistible. _"Um, no. We um, that's all." Olivia said.

"I'm just gonna change and I'll be right out." Nick said to Amanda as he looked at Olivia.

"Okay. I'll uh, wait in the car." She said, grinning at the awkward exchange between the two. She put on her coat and she headed out. Olivia pretended to be busy with pouring coffee and was taking her time, Nick decided to take the long way around to the locker room.

"You uh, you look nice today if I haven't told you."

"Thank you." She said without turning around but smiling all the same.

"I been thinkin about you." She stood, absorbing his words until Reyes walked by.

"Serg, I need you signature on this." He said as he held out the form. She quickly put her signature on it. "Hey Amaro, you catch that game?"

"Yeah, man, the Spurs killed it." Amaro noted.

"Man did they ever! Anyway I got work to do but we'll talk later."

"Alright man." He waited for Reyes to leave before directing his attention to Olivia. "I'm sorry about that."

"Maybe it's best that we don't." She said and walked to her office, shutting the door.

* * *

.

Later at Olivia's home, she was finishing feeding Noah dinner and cleaning him up when someone rang the doorbell. She paused for a moment and turned to Noah.

"Who is that?" She said happily to the baby.

"Ah see."

"Wanna see?"

"See."

She laughed to the baby as she lifted him from his chair. He clapped his hands from excitement before playing with her necklace as they made their way to the door and she stopped to look through the peephole. She shifted Noah on her hip before opening up.

"This is unexpected."

"I hope I'm not interrupting." Nick replied upon entering. "Hey Mano!" He grinned upon seeing Noah, quickly lifting him from Olivia's arms.

"No, I just wasn't counting on anyone stopping by." She said as she closed the door.

"Well, I thought since I was going to be eating dinner alone I'd have company; who better than you?" ,

"That's sweet but; is this about that night; or that morning?"

"As amazing as it was, no."

This afternoon, Nick I..."

"As sad as I was, no."

"Then what...?"

"Interested?" He asked as Noah sat on his hip.

"You wish." She said and walked into the living room, smirking. He couldn't help looking at her yoga pants, the way they clung to every curve; especially her ass, and he found himself loosening his tie.

"When you grow up, women like you mother are maddening but they are so worth it."

Noah began laughing as Nick made his way into the living room.

...

"You wore him out." She said with a smile, entering the kitchen after putting Noah down.

"I can't wait till he's bigger, more things to get into."

"Nooo, I want him little a lot longer, I'm not ready to let him grow up."

"Mothers."

"Ha ha. You cleaned the mess?"

"Guilty. I figured you'd had enough of a trying day and I wanted to make it easier." He said as he handed her a wineglass.

"Thank you but I'm not drinking, remember?"

"It's cranberry juice, and I poured me a glass as well so you won't be alone." She couldn't help but but smile as she took the wineglass and sat down at the end of the couch.

"So what's the real reason you came over?"

"I told you, I wanted to..."

"Dinner, yeah. And while it was delicious, I can't help but think there was more so spill it."

"Okay, you're right. I do have an ulterior motive...but it's not what you think..."

"I didn't say anything." She said laughing.

"Yet." He said. "God you're beautiful, you know that."

"How about you tell me that after?"

"Right. So, and I want you to hear me out, but I've been thinkin and it seems like a good plan."

"What does?"

"I've been quiet for the last week but, the FBI called me in again for an interview and this time; Liv I'm seeing things in a whole new light and I'm thinkin about going."

"I just... Wow."

"Before you say anything, think about this. We have a baby coming in a little over eight months, and they've offered me a salary damn near double mine."

"Nick, you know it's not about that..."

"Liv are you kidding? I'm gonna provide for this baby; not only that but..."

She sat waiting for him to say something but instead...

"...the point is, I'm not leaving the cost of our child on you."

"But to take a job that you don't want..."

"What, is that what you think? That I don't want the job?"

"So you do?"

"That's the amazing part, it's a job I love. I get to use my army skills, plus police skills and I'm starting at a higher bracket. And not saying it'll matter but if we were to chose to be together we got nothing in the world holdin us back now."

"Just one thing, you're in DC."

"No, that's the best part, the job is stationed mainly in New York. I'll be in DC one week a month and I'm done and don't even get me started on the benefits and perks... I think this is just what we've been looking for."

"You mean _you've _been looking for..."

"Fine. _I've _been looking for." He said with a grin. "But what do you think?"

"Honestly? This is incredible and I think you'd be crazy not to take it."

"Really?"

"Of course I do. I can't say that I won't miss you around the squad room..."

"But?"

"But..." She sat her glass down on the coffee table. "I think you made a great choice."

"You do?" He said putting his glass down.

"I do. You know in spite of what we've gone through I want the best for you."

He put his head down and smiled. "You know, I didn't... I'm glad you're happy for me."

"...but that isn't what you were going to say."

"It's... I better get going, it's late." He said getting up. Olivia sat feeling uncertain about his departure but quickly gave in to it all the same and went to him where he was at the door putting on his scarf.

"Thank you for dinner, how about next time we leave it my treat?" She said.

"Yeah, I'd like that." He smiled, putting on his coat. "I'll see you Monday."

"You're coming in?"

"I'll need to turn in my papers..."

"So it's official."

"I guess it is. Goodnight Liv."

"Goodnight." She said as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek and headed out the door. Olivia stood there wishing she had said more and wanting to, while outside Nick stood staring at the door, fighting with himself. He wanted more than anything to have said what was in his heart, but he withheld, certain that she didn't want to hear it. Now as he looked at her door, he wished that he had taken the initiative and said what he was feeling but decided against it, and now as he was standing there, he decided that now wasn't a good time either and walked away.

Inside, Liv felt the same. She knew that there was so much she had to tell him, so much she wanted to say but could she risk her heart to a love that she wasn't sure of? She decided that the risk was greater than the payoff and turned out the light and made her way to the living room. She stopped when she saw the wine glasses and quickly picked them up to take them in the kitchen, washing them at the sink and crumbling to tears as she did.

...

Later as she sat rummaging through the TV, she couldn't stop thinking about Nick. What did they have to lose? He was now officially leaving the NYPD, there was nothing holding them back so why was she so afraid? Could it be because love had screwed her so many times that she was afraid to take a chance and risk it? And then what about Noah. What if she let Nick in only to have him hurt her? Noah would lose the most important man in his life and it would all be because she...

"But what have you got to lose?" She asked herself this question and immediately turned and grabbed her phone. "Lucy, please tell me your not busy..."

...

Twenty minutes later, she was dressed and Lucy had arrived. She was on her way out the door.

"My phone is on if you need me but he should sleep through the night and there's food in the fridge but if you want take out..."

"I know, we'll be fine. And I know where his medicines are should he need them and the pediatrician. I got this, go."

"You're a life saver!"

And just like that, she was on her way.

* * *

.

In the Bronx, Nick had showered after working out and now sat in pajama pants that rode low on his hips and not much else. He was tired of trying to rid his mind of Olivia and now decided that he'd try to sleep to end his torture. He'd noticed that it had started raining while he was in the shower and he peered out at the window, it was really coming down out there.

"Perfect weather for tonight." He said sadly and was ready to climb into bed when he heard a knock at the door. He thought about ignoring it and just turning in to bed but then thought that it may be important and he headed to the door.

She started to walk away from the door, convinced that he wasn't home. She stood there wet and upset and wondering why the hell she drove out here. She turned around and felt tears stinging her eyes but she was determined that she wouldn't cry and when there was a sudden light at the front door, she stood there and looked at him as he looked at her.

"Liv."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what..."

"Come on in."

"I don't want to; I think..." Stopping to look at him, she bites her lip. "I um..." Before she was able to finish, he took her face in his hands and kissed her. He pulled her close, holding her tight as her body melted into his and they lost themselves in the heat of the kiss. Pretty soon she was against the wall, in his embrace. She could think of nothing else in that moment and she wanted nothing else because she knew right then and there that there was nothing else. Sure, tomorrow would bring it's own worries, but tonight, she had everything she needed, everything she wanted and it was with this that she climbed atop him and let him have her. She didn't fight or limit, she simply gave in and let them become part of each other. He dropped her coat and carried her to the bedroom, they never stopped kissing and when they got there he lay her down on the bed and climbed atop her, kissing her even harder, numbing her with the way he felt.

Somewhere in the kissing, he pulled her shirt off and now feasted on her body. He had undone her bra, tossing it and took his time kissing, licking and sucking her breasts and stomach. She was lost in the feel of him and held him as he devoured her.

"I love you; God I love you!" She cried.

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**More to come... In the meantime, how about some reviews?**


	13. Love

**Chapter thirteen, picking up where we left off. Dick Wolf owns, I just borrow. Enjoy!**

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"Nick...baby I need..."

"What do you need?" He asked as he was kissing her neck. He had her straddled in his lap, his hands everywhere and she was slowly coming undone. They spent the whole night making love and though she was sore and needed to get home she couldn't get enough of him any more than he could get enough of her. The last thing she wanted was to let him go but it was already six o'clock in the morning, she needed to get home to Noah and if she didn't leave soon...

"Oh god!" She cried when she felt his lips brush her collarbone and slide down her breasts. He was a master with his mouth; with all of him really but his mouth...

"Baby, I need to...go...I have to...get to..." She couldn't stop herself from kissing him, quickly finding herself down amongst the barely there sheets, Nick on top of her and all words simply leaving as the heat from their lovemaking took over everything once again and she found herself with her eyes rolled up and lost in his touch.

"Nick...oh god fuck me!

* * *

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It was just before eight o'clock when Olivia came through the door at her apartment to find Noah and Lucy watching cartoons, Noah laughing hysterically.

"I'm home!" She called from the hall, hanging her coat.

"Mama!" Noah called out to her as she came to him.

"Hi, my big boy!" She said as she lifted him into her arms and took a seat, planting a kiss to his cheek.

"You look...happy!"

"I do?"

"Mama, nook" Noah said pointing at the TV,

"Well that's silly!" Noah let out a huge laugh and went back to watching TV.

"Yeah, infectiously so... But...I have a feeling that you don't wanna talk about it so, I'll mind my business. How was work?"

"It was...work. You know, criminals. I can't thank you enough for staying with him last night. Was he any trouble?" She said rustling his hair.

"Not at all, slept through the night."

"Well thank you, you're a lifesaver."

"No problem. I better get going...oh and he had breakfast about twenty minutes ago."

"Oh, bless you!" she said. "What would I do without you?" She said as she stood up with Noah and walked her to the door.

"I left breakfast in the oven and I'll see you Tuesday. Bye Noah."

"Bye bye"

"Thanks again Lucy." She opened the door and let her out then locked it. Walking over to the couch.

"I missed you little man." She said hugging Noah tight. He babbled something incoherently to her before he threw his little arms around her neck and held her tight. "You missed me too I see" she said laughing before she let him down. He went off running and she picked up the phone and dialed Nick once she was seated.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey yourself..." She was feeling like a schoolgirl all of a sudden. Her cheeks were blushing at the sound of his voice and although she'd just left him, she missed the comfort of his arms. "I just wanted to tell you that I um made it home."

"I'm glad."

"Yeah." There was a long silence and then...

"I can't stop thinking about you." She smiled on the other end of the phone.

"Last night was..."

"Incredible... I miss you already." Again she let loose the biggest smile.

"I... I miss you too. Anyway I should go, I've got this kid to deal with who is very active so..."

"Will you- call me...later?" He asked nervously with a smile to his face.

"I can do that." She stopped and thought for a moment before she spoke again. "Nick... Why don't you come over for dinner and we can..."

"I'd love to."

"Okay. Um 7:30?"

"7:30...and Liv..."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too; just...don't make me..."

"Don't...?"

"Nothing." She said with that smile again. "I'll see you tonight." She said and ended the call. Nick thought he was in a dream and Olivia? Olivia sat on her couch still unable to believe that she'd told him how she felt or that he felt the same. Love didn't happen this way for her and she certainly hadn't anticipated that it would happen with Nick though she'd dreamt about it more times than she could count; almost as many times as he had. Still she knew that this was a final move for her. She'd let him in, in spite of her heart telling her not to and if somehow this didn't work...

"Then it'll be just the three of us..." She said as she looked up at Noah then just as quickly changed her mind deciding that somehow, they would make it work.

"Mama pay!" He said, handing her the purple Tyrannosaurus while he carried the orange Diplodocus.

"Hey, guess what?" She asked as she sat him on her lap. "Soon, in about eight months you won't be the only little one; Mama's gonna have a baby."

"Baby?"

"You are gonna be the best big brother... And Nick..."

"Unc?"

"That's right, your Uncle Nick is going to be a terrific dad...but don't tell him I said that." She smiled. "So how about we play for a bit and you take a nap with Mama?"

"No no no!" He said shaking his head. She laughed as she got up and walked to the kitchen.

"You drive a hard bargain Noah." She pulled the breakfast from the oven and felt nauseous when she saw the eggs. "That's a first." She dumped the eggs into the garbage disposal and took the bacon, munching happily as she played dinosaurs with Noah.

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**More soon. How about some reviews in the meantime? They'll only take a second.**


	14. Sickness

**Thanks for those of you still reading. It's been hard to write this with Danny having being written out of the show...my poor Amaro, at first I thought, **_**what will I do with this story now? **_**I ran a few scenarios through my head that included him dying and leaving Liv to grieve but then I thought how stupid that was and that I'd be cheating myself and you out of where I originally intended to take this story and so it stays. Well, that being said, let's get to chapter 14, Dick Wolf owns and enjoy!**

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Three weeks had passed and Nick and Olivia were learning to work out the ebb and flow of their relationship in the midst of dealing with Olivia's newfound morning sickness. Three weeks ago, she woke up and things had changed. Now it was she with her head in the toilet every morning, with raging sickness, and Nick was the one offering her sympathy, though he was thankful that it wasn't him anymore.

This morning, a Saturday, she had woken up terribly ill. She thanked God that it was her day off as she lay there in bed but that was all she thanked him for, to say that she felt lousy was an understatement; she felt like crying and she wished that Nick were here so she could curse him. She was so nauseous yet every time she would go to the bathroom it was nothing but dry heaves until she gave Noah his breakfast (which she had hell preparing) and he'd insisted on sharing a bite with her.

"Noah, that's sweet baby but mama's not feeling well." She gracefully declined but he wouldn't hear it, it was their thing; mama always had a bite of his breakfast, always. There was no backing out now.

"Mama hah shum!" He insisted, gingerly holding out his little spoon for her. "Ahh" he said, signaling that he wanted her to open her mouth. She looked at him and saw that he wasn't budging, sitting there with his spoon extended and she gave in, slowly leaning in to take the bite of food.

It was a strawberry, she could do a strawberry, no problem. Except she couldn't. She took the fruit in her mouth and let out a "Mmmm" which seemed to appease Noah and he gave her the biggest, sweetest smile. Only when she started chewing, that's when the nausea came full throttle but she was a trooper, all she had to do was swallow right?

Attempt to swallow and the fruit was down for about 4 seconds before it came back up and she ran quickly into the bathroom (it wasn't dry heaves). She threw up hard and leaving Noah sitting there, eating his breakfast happily.

While she was in the bathroom, Nick entered the apartment, quickly hanging his jacket and walking into the kitchen.

"Babe? Hey Mano, where's mom?" Noah shrugged his shoulders and put some scrambled egg in his mouth. Nick laughed and kissed him, Noah responded by giving him a spoonful of eggs.

"Much better than baby cereal." He said, chewing. "Okay little man, be right back."

"'Tay."

"Liv?" He was about to turn the corner and she was just emerging from the the bathroom when he saw her.

"Hey." He went to give her a kiss on the lips but she quickly turned her head and threw herself on the couch. "Sorry I couldn't be here last night, it was pretty late when we wrapped up." He took a seat beside her while keeping an eye on Noah.

"You don't look so well" he said sympathetically as he brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes.

"I don't feel very well" she told him, as she turned and put her arm around him, curling up to him and putting her feet up under her.

"I'm sorry babe" he hated that she was so sick because of him. "The good news is that I'm off till Monday so I'm here."

"I'm sorry to be such a bother." She said, already giving up on the idea of cursing him, she was just happy to be in his arms.

"Nah. Why don't you go and lie down, I can keep an eye on Noah."

"I have my doctor's appointment..."

"That's not until one, go. Try to get some sleep, I'll wake you when it's time."

"Thank you." She kissed him quick on the lips then kissed Noah before making her way slowly to the bedroom and shutting the door. Nick got up and went over to Noah.

"Well dude, just us for a few hours, what's your poison?" Noah put strawberries in his mouth before uttering something that Nick couldn't make out.

"Or we could do that."

* * *

.

"Well, you'll both be happy to know that you're fine." Dr. Gates told Olivia. "Unfortunately, morning sickness can be a bitch but thankfully it doesn't last long. But unless you're throwing up excessively it should be fine. Other than that, how are you feeling?"

"Other than the morning sickness, I feel great; well, my breasts have gotten ridiculously sore since I saw you last but I'm okay."

"Try a cold compress when you can, that should help a lot. So, are you ready to take a look at the baby?"

"I'm excited and nervous all at the same time; this makes it kind of real." She was anxiously running her hand over her stomach. Dr. Gates smiled and squeezed her hand.

"Would you..." She listened to that voice in her heart that told her Nick should be there. "Before we start, would you ask Mr. Amaro and my son to come in. I think he'd...well he'd like to uh... Could you just ask him to come?"

"I'll be right back." She said with a laugh. When she left Olivia sat with that same hand to her stomach.

"You've gone all in with this guy... God please don't let it...it won't Olivia, for once you've gotta trust that it won't."

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**More to come, in the meantime, reviews are lovely so won't you be lovely to me?**


	15. Thankful

**We pick up where we left off, enjoy.**

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"...and that little blurb right there is your eight week old fetus, and it looks fine" The doctor said smiling.

"Noah look, that's our baby!" Nick said, grinning from ear to ear as he squeezed Liv's hand. "That's our baby." He leaned down and kissed her but she was too emotional to speak and just cried happily.

"Mama..." Noah said, tapping Olivia. "Mama wook, baby." She grabbed his little hand and kissed it.

"It's the most beautiful little blurb ever!" She said through her tears. Nick wiped her eyes as he kissed her and Noah sat clapping.

"Our little blurb."

* * *

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Over the next month, Olivia's morning sickness stayed the course. In between caring for Noah, a full time, highly demanding job, and cultivating a new relationship; it was trying to say the least and even though she often downplayed how bad it was, Nick went beyond the scope of boyfriend and cared for her as best he could, even when he couldn't be there.

They got a call about a bunch of teenagers who went wild at a private party and decided to film each other and take pictures in some very x-rated scenarios. The investigation went from tracking down the pictures and video; dealing with child pornography charges. To a measles outbreak that spread because the mothers of these children didn't vaccinate and the outbreak, through the baby brother of one kid; spread to Noah.

The second Nick heard he tried to keep his wits about him for Olivia and Noah and hurried from work to her apartment.

"You didn't have to take of work." Olivia said, she was in the kitchen brewing tea when Nick entered the apartment.

"I had to see for myself that he was alright." He came over to the counter and kissed her before putting his jacket down and making his way to Noah's room. Inside he saw that the toddler was sleeping peacefully and he gently felt his forehead and caressed his hair before easing out and closing the door. By the time he came around to the kitchen, Olivia seemed emotional and not knowing what else to do, he hugged her from behind.

"What's wrong?" He said with a kiss.

"I just... You're really concerned about him."

"Of course I am, he's my so- I didn't mean to imply that...you know, I just meant that... Why don't I shut up now." She turned her head around and gave him a kiss to the lips.

"Do you see us going...there?"

"If I tell you something, promise you won't get mad?" He had stepped away and she turned to face him.

"Depends on what it is." And she poured her tea

"I wanna marry you- not now of course...unless you want to but...I do, I wanna marry you. I love you and I love Noah, I want us to be a family...when you're ready of course."

"Nick, I..." She pressed her hand to her stomach and let out a deep, uncomfortable breath. It was still rather early in the morning and her stomach hadn't settled yet.

"Babe..."

"...I'm okay"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I want us to be a family too but marriage?" He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked her in the eyes.

"Look, I know it seems scary right now, which is why we don't have to talk about it. It's still early in the relationship, we still have a lot of time to think about it."

"No pressure? I like that. But, you know what I could use right now?" She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"What?"

"A nap"

"A nap?" He repeated, laughing.

"Yes, you couldn't imagine how tired I am!"

"Well; how about _after _the nap?"

"Oh, well I was thinking the nap would be _after _the sex..." She kissed him and let go of his neck, walking away into the bedroom, he stood there with a smile on his face before he ran to join her.

... ... ...

After a couple more days, Noah grew worse from the measles and had to be hospitalized when he couldn't breathe. This sent Olivia over the edge and she was inconsolable. The doctors didn't know if he would make it through and if it hadn't been for Nick, being right there to comfort and console her, she would have lost it. It was the longest three days of her life, but Nick stayed by her side, both of them praying for a miracle when suddenly, he got better. His fever had broken and when he opened his little eyes and called out for Olivia, she nearly collapsed from relief she was so happy.

Sadly after a couple days, Olivia had to go back to work but thankfully the worst was over, Noah was home and she along with Nick could breathe again and also the three of them caught up on some much needed sleep before they reported back.

* * *

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A week later...

"So you two just what? Sleeping together; having fun?" Barba asked as he and Nick walked along the street outside his office.

"Come on man, you know me better than that…" Nick said.

"You're right, I do know you better than that." He said with a grin to his face.

"Alright, not this time. It was different with Amanda; we were just havin a good time. It's not like now."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning; Liv is; I don't know man, she's..." He took a deep breath and sighed with a huge smile on his face.

"That deep?"

"I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember and now...but to answer your question, no, we are not just having fun. It's... It's serious."

"I'm gonna give you some advice and maybe you need it and maybe you don't but I'm giving it to you anyway...Liv's been through a lot. A hell of a lot of pain in just the time I've known her, and I don't wanna see her go though more. You're a good guy Amaro, just, don't hurt her."

"Tienes mi palabra."

"Good, now let's change the subject because if she knew I was talking to you about this, she'd kill me."

* * *

.

"Fin, Carisi, you guys done with your expense reports?" Olivia asked.

"Almost, end of the day!" Fin answered.

"Same here boss." Carisi said.

"Alright, on my desk by six." She went and took a donut from the box, then took two and went back towards her office eating one with a look of euphoria on her face, even making sounds as she ate. Fin and Carisi just sat staring at her suspiciously.

"What?!" She asked with a mouth full, having noticed their eyes on her.

"You hate coconut frosted." Fin said.

"And I haven't been here long so pardon me if I'm wrong but since when do you like jelly?" Carisi added.

She stood in place a minute thinking of something to say that would explain. "...People...change." And she went into her office, still eating and slammed the door.

"I'm telling you man, she's preggers." Carisi said in s low voice so the rest of the precinct wouldn't hear him.

"Will you get off that?" Fin argued.

"My sister Bella is the same way, weird cravings, mood swings...you gonna pretend not to notice the 50 times a day she's in the bathroom? Mark my words, pregnant!"

"Who's pregnant?" Amanda asked upon walking in.

"Boss lady."

"Will you stop spreading rumors?" Fin said.

"Come on, it's just you two."

"I didn't wanna say anything but I think he's right." Amanda said. "I mean there's definitely some weight gain goin on, and have you seen her boobs? Jesus, they've almost taken my eye out a few times!"

"Okay, you know what? That's enough. Stop mindin Liv's business. If there's somethin she wants you to know, she'll tell it and until she does, shut it!" And he got up and went to Liv's office.

... ... ...

Inside she was at her desk with her hands on her stomach, talking to her non existent bump when he knocked. She quickly sat up and put on her glasses and pretended to be doing paperwork.

"Come in." The door opened and Fin stepped inside.

"Hey." He said, shutting the door.

"Hey. Everything okay?. She asked.

"Yeah I just...I been meanin to ask you somethin."

"What's up?" She asked, taking off her glasses.

"Look, we're both adults so I'm just gon come right out with it."

"With what?" She took a sip from her tea.

"Are you pregnant?" Her tea went down wrong and she started to choke.

"What?!"

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**Lol, more for you guys next time. In the meantime I love reviews so how about leaving me some? Don't worry about logging in. Until next time.**


	16. Dreams

**Chapter 16.**

* * *

.

Olivia drove home tired and staggered onto the elevator after another long one that went on until eight today. She was only in her third month and the baby was taking a lot out of her already; thank god she only fell asleep twice and thankfully in her office where no one could see.

She laughed at the thought, touching her still flat stomach...

"Bit of an inconvenience you know...but I don't mind. I already love you!" She said smiling. A minute later the elevator finally reached her floor and she pulled out her keys and entered the apartment, taking off her coat and hanging it in the entryway with her bag.

When she pulled herself out of her sleepiness a bit she was surprised to smell something delicious coming from the kitchen and even more surprised when she turned the corner and Nick was in her living room with Noah, playing on the floor.

"Mama!" Noah cried happily and stood up, reaching for Olivia.

"Hi little man!" She went and picked him up and kissed him several times and hugged him tight. He immediately simmered down and lay on her chest, obviously tired and ready for bed now that that he's seen his mom. "Where's Lucy?"

"I told her to she could go home, I hope that's okay." He said as he got up.

"It's fine."

"Rough day?" Noah was babbling something as he winded down.

"Better now." She kissed Nick and took a seat. "What smells so good?" She asked, sitting with Noah on her lap.

"Well, I got off early so I cooked a little something, should be ready in about 25 minutes. Mano has had his bath and dinner so all you need to do is put him to bed."

"Thank you baby." She caressed Noah's hair and kissed him. "I think I'd better do that now, he looks tired." She said as she got up and went to the fridge to get his bottle.

... ... ...

A little later she came from her bedroom after a shower in yoga shorts and a tank top with her hair thrown in a ponytail drawing immediate looks from Nick.

"Amazing what a shower will do... What?"

"I just really love to see you in yoga shorts."

"...and yoga pants, and leggings..."

"The booty wardrobe..." He wrapped her in his arms from behind and kissed her neck. "You smell delicious!" He said and continued kissing his way down as he slid a hand under her shirt and stroked her nipple with his fingertips.

"Nick...they're sore."

"I'm sorry babe, you just look so damn good." He nibbled her shoulders.

"You're incorrigible!" She laughed reaching back and turning to kiss his mouth. "Where's the food?"

"Continue later?"

"We'll see." She said flirtatiously and took a seat at the table.

"We'll see." Nick said smiling as he went to the kitchen to plate the food.

* * *

.

Later after they finished eating and the kitchen was all cleaned up, they were in her bedroom kissing in bed.

"I'm glad you could stay tonight, this is nice."

"What is?" He asked.

"This; having someone to come home to." She said as she snuggled up to him and kissed her sweetly.

"Speaking of; you know you're gonna need to move outta here soon."

"I figure the baby can sleep in here until it's bigger, that gives us at least 6 months after it's born and if it's a boy I can move him in with Noah after that."

"Sounds like you thought this through"

"I really hate moving. By the way, Fin knows."

"About the baby?"

"He asked me about it and I couldn't lie. I did ask him not to tell the rest of the squad but..."

"They're gonna find out soon a enough."

"I know, I just like it being our secret you know? Plus I haven't even told anyone about us; well except for Fin... Could you rub my back?" She asked as she sat up. He immediately started with a back massage.

"How'd that go over?" He asked.

"Let's see, after I choked on my tea..."

"What?" He couldn't stop laughing.

"He surprised me! Anyway..."

_"What makes you ask that?"_

_"Reasons. You either are or you aren't which is it?"_

_"Fin..."_

_"Olivia"_

_"Fine. Yes."_

_"Hot damn!"_

_"You aren't happy?" She said with teary eyes. She got way too emotional lately._

_"Are you kidding me?" He hugged her. "I'm thrilled, I know how long you wanted this."_

_"Thanks Fin."_

_"So Noah's gonna be a big brother?"_

_"Can you believe it? I'm still telling myself that it's a dream!" She said wiping her eyes._

_"So one question...who's the dad? Did you use a donor."_

_"Uh no... Its actually funny you should ask..."_

"How'd that go, or do I need to ask?" Nick asked.

"Don't ask." She said and laughed. "I'm kidding, it went fine."

"It did?"

"It did, and you know what else?" She turned to face him.

"What?"

"I am ridiculously horny right now." In seconds she had pulled him down on top of her as she lay back.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He kissed her deep while he worked his hand in her shorts, gently caressing her outer lips which were already seaping with her wetness.

"Nick don't tease me."

"I'm not gonna tease you." He said and kissed her. "I want you to tell me what you want." His fingers parted her slit and began rubbing her clit.

"You're so wet." He said

"Then you already know what I want...oh god that feels so good."

"Tell me what you want I'll make it even better." He put two fingers inside her while continuing to rub her clit, getting a bigger reaction from her than he'd anticipated and her back arched off the bed.

"Look at you"

"Don't stop, I'm gonna come..." He kept up his pace and she quickly changed her mind. "I want to come on your...oh god, get inside me!" And she pulled him in to devour his mouth as he withdrew his fingers and put himself inside, licking her wetness and fucking her hard.

* * *

.

The following morning they lay in bed asleep on a rainy Saturday morning, wrapped up in each others arms when Noah came over the monitor crying.

_"Mama"_

Nick and Olivia both began to stir.

_"Mama..."_

"I'll get him" Olivia mumbled, half asleep as she got up and put her robe on to cover her nakedness. She was just about to turn the doorknob when her morning sickness sent her running into the bathroom.

"I got him." Nick said as he put on his pajama bottoms. "You alright?" He got nothing except her, heaving and walked out to get Noah. When Nick entered the nursery, Noah was sitting in the crib crying.

"Hey buddy, what's wrong?" He asked as he reached in the crib to pick him up and soothe him.

"Unc...wan mama" Noah cried and lay his head on Nick's shoulder.

As Nick reentered the bedroom carrying Noah, he saw that Olivia still was in the bathroom and walked over.

"Liv, you okay in there?" From the other side of the door he heard:

"I'm alright...I just need a minute...did you check on Noah?"

"Yeah, I got him right here. I think he had a bad dream but he's okay now." He waited a minute and she threw up again. "I'm gonna get you some club soda." And the turned and left the room carrying Noah.

He went to the kitchen and got a bottle for the baby and a glass of club soda for Olivia and went back to the bedroom. By the time he arrived, Olivia was coming out of the bathroom.

"Here you go" Nick said as he gave her the club soda.

"Thanks baby." She took a sip and sat down, putting the glass on the nightstand and reaching for Noah. He quickly came to her arms and buried his head in her neck as he hugged her tight and Nick stroked his hair.

"It's okay little guy." She said, though she remained calm she was worried, Noah had never had a nightmare before. "What were you dreaming about?"

But he just continued to lie there silent, feeling better now that his mom and unc were both in the room and his mom was in his arms and the dream was starting to quickly fade from his mind.

* * *

**.**

**What does it all mean? Find out next time but while you wait I'd love some reviews.**


	17. Becoming

**Chapter 17. Thank you to those still reading and reviewing, I love you guys.**

* * *

.

"You're right, and I would've but- yes Fin, look, I'm sorry man, please forgive me?" He laughs. "I love you too. How about we go out for drinks when I'm back from DC? Alright man.., I will." He hung up the phone and turned to Noah, who was running around the living room.

"That was close."

"Unc wabbagid da inpik conna?" Noah said to Nick as he threw toys in his toy box.

"Almost but we saved it bud." Nick said. He put the last of the toys away and looked at Noah. "Well, toys all put away. What now?"

"Doan know!" Noah said shrugging his shoulders. Nick picked him up and kissed him while he laughed, prompting Noah to giggle too.

"Hey Liv..."

"Ay Nib" Noah yelled and burst into laughter.

"You're just a clown today... Liv babe we're gonna be late." He said and went into the kitchen carrying Noah. A minute later Olivia came out of the bedroom.

"Tell that to your child." She said.

"Hi mama" Noah greeted from where he sat on the counter, helping Nick pack his bag and eating goldfish crackers to which Olivia was thankful; he didn't share those.

"Hi Noah." She leaned in to give him a kiss and hugged him.

"More vomiting?"

"And I got it on my shirt so I had to change. I never thought pregnancy would be so much work." She said, caressing his hair.

"Work"

"Yeah, work!" She laughed and stood up.

"It'll be worth it in the end." He said with a kiss to her cheek.

"Remind me of that 6 months from now when I'm screaming through contractions and cursing your existence!"

"Noted. We ready?"

"What do you say Noah? Are we ready to go to the doctor's?"

"And then to the movies to see 'Home'?!" Nick added.

"I weay" he shouted happily.

* * *

.

They were leaving the movie theater in Times Square just after 3 with Noah fast asleep in his stroller and Liv eating a box of sour gummy worms that were resting on top of Noah's stroller.

"These are sooo good! Why have I not had them?" She threw another one into her mouth.

"I don't know but I sure wanna kiss you right now!"

"What if we get caught?"

"Then we get caught, I don't work for NYPD remember?" He stopped and carefully pinned her up against the wall of the movie theater where her eyes nervously scanned the crowds going by as he moved in to kiss her, sweetly at first then hungrily and full of passion and she went from being nervous to throwing her free arm around his neck, the other holding Noah's stroller while he slid his tongue in her mouth, pulling him closer until they both needed air.

"That was nice!" She said out of breath as she licked her lips.

"And nothing exploded!" She laughed as he tilted her chin and gave soft kisses to her mouth.

"No, I guess not." She leaned in and kissed him a final time..

"I wanna take you out"

"What?"

"I wanna take you out. We've been dealing for two months now and I've never taken you on a real date."

"You don't have to..."

"I want to." He said caressing her face. "And I need you to wear that black dress from that night we..."

"I know the one..."

"So..." He blew on her neck.

"You're making me hot"

"Good." He skimmed at her lips. "We all set?"

"I'm gonna need to find a sitter; Lucy has a thing."

"Call my mother, she's done it before."

"Mother. Yes, now kiss me and take me home because you need to fuck me or I'm gonna lose it!"

"I love pregnancy hormones!" He said and kissed her.

* * *

.

The cab ride home was spent with she and Nick having to restrain themselves with Noah asleep on Nick's shoulder but once they got back to the apartment and he put the baby down, things got x- rated and in an attempt to finish before Noah woke up, they went hard and fast. Olivia coming so hard she squirted for the first time, all over Nick and couldn't stop until she came for the third and final time. Nick had come with her, coming as hard as she had, they came together that time and she thanked God that Noah wasn't a light sleeper because she lost control and screamed Nick's name again and again as she went over, and when they were done she lay limp in his arms as he planted kisses all over her.

"I had no idea I could so that." She said between breaths.

"Wait, you never..." He was quite out of breath himself.

"First time; and second, and third..." She said, a bit embarrassed as she kissed him on the chest.

"So I made you squir-"

"Please don't say it, it sounds so dirty." She laughed.

"Well it may sound dirty but it is sexy as hell!" He said and kissed her while she gently raked her nails over his abdomen. When surprisingly he quickened and became hard again, she wrapped her hand around him as much she could and began stroking him.

"Liv, baby... Ohhh..."

"I just thought of something else we'd never done before." She said as she continued stroking him.

"We don't have a lot of time..."

"Don't worry, you won't need it." She said and kissed her way down his torso to take him in her mouth.

* * *

.

Later that evening, Olivia sat, hair in rollers, makeup done perfectly and in her robe as she fed Noah his dinner.

"I want you to be a good boy for Caesarea, can you do that for me?" He nodded with his mouth full and she kissed him.

"I love you, you know that?"

"Yuh 'you' mama"

"Can I have a kiss?" She said from where she sat in front of him.

"Mmm mah" he mimicked the sound as he gave one, she laughed.

"Can I have another one?" He gave her a second kiss and quickly scooped up a piece of chicken and offered it to her then put the last piece in his mouth.

"Fin mama." He said as he shoved his plate away.

"Good boy." She immediately picked up the plate and took it in the kitchen to put it in the sink as Noah drank his water.

"Mama up" he said, putting his sippy cup down and reaching for her. She had just lifted him from the chair when the doorbell rang.

"Doe mama!"

"Lets see who it is!" She quickly sat Noah on her hip and went to the door, hurrying to open it when she saw that it was Nick.

"Wow! You clean up good!" She smiled.

"Ay unc" Noah said as he reached for Nick who quickly took him.

"Hey buddy." He kissed him and turned to Liv. "I try. And you, smell incredible!"

"I take it you like?"

"Like? I wanna take you back there and..."

"Careful, sensitive ears." She said pointing at Noah.

"Eas" She kissed him and ruffled his hair.

"Yes, ears. See, you have 2." She touched each of his ears as he counted with her. "Good boy!"

"Did I ever tell you what an excellent mom I think you are?" Nick said with all admiration.

"Fwee..." Noah continued quietly.

"Only every day since last spring; but I don't mind hearing it again."

"Fo..."

"I do, I think you're an incredible mom, and Noah, and our baby are so lucky to have you." He gave her a soft kiss while his free hand skirted her still flat stomach.

"Fie..."

"Why do you have to make me emotional?" She said wiping at her eyes which were now running over with tears. "Damn hormones!" She uttered, turning to Nick and embracing him.

"Mama..." Noah looked worried and glanced at Nick as Olivia laughed through her tears.

"I'm alright baby...see." She kissed his little hands and he felt better. She then looked up at Nick. "And your counting was great."

"Can you stay with him while I finish getting ready? I won't be long."

"Take your time." He said. She shook her head, still wiping her tears as she she went to her bedroom.

... ... ...

Thirty minutes later Olivia came out of the bedroom all dressed in that black dress which was now tighter in all the right places and Nick thought she looked more beautiful than he'd ever seen her. She had her hair down in curls and red, strappy stiletto sandals on and to say it got Nick off the couch in record time was an understatement as he put Noah down and walked over to her.

"You know, it's good you requested this dress because this is the last time I'll probably fit into it."

"You look; wow. Even better than the first time and that's saying _a lot_!" He said, circling her.

"Will you stop?" She said smiling.

"I mean it. And I'm so glad I can do this..." He said as he takes her in his arms and plants sensuous kisses to her face and neck.

"We have an audience." She said of Noah who had paused and was staring at them laughing.

"Liv, it's good for him to see his parents- not that I'm... I did it again." Noah stood looking at Nick quietly as if he understood the tensity in the room.

_Daddy...I like the sound of that. Unc daddy._

"Nick I understand how much you love him, I do but..."

_Don't mess it up..._

"You're still worried about if we don't make it. What do I have to do to prove to you that we will? Liv I'm not just riding this until it falls apart, I'm in this for the long haul for you and Noah. God forbid but if we lost that baby tomorrow, I'll still be here and I'll still love the two of you." Noah now looked at Liv.

_Come on mama, you can do this..._

"...we should probably get going." She said nervously. Noah slapped a hand down his face and Nick's frame went slack and he turned around with laughter. After all, he had to do something to keep from screaming.

_Or just unc._

"Yeah. We probably should; come on mano, let's get your stuff."

* * *

.

After they dropped Noah off with Nick's mother and indulged a whole lot of cooing over Noah, and cooing about the baby, Olivia assuring Caesarea that she wasn't working too hard and that she was getting enough sleep and Nick whipping out photos of Noah, it was over a half hour before they finally said their goodbyes and got out of there. The entire drive up to the Bronx, Olivia had sat thinking, and even more once they left Caesarea's and it was in the car on the way to the restaurant that she finally spoke up.

"Do you really see us; I mean this is it for you?" She asked him, teary eyed again.

"Still don't believe me?"

"Nick I..." She started to cry and he immediately pulled the car over.

"What's wrong?" He asked with his arm around the back of her seat and scared to death of her answer but she kept crying. He reached in his jacket pocket and gave her his handkerchief but every time she tried to get it together she was overcome with more tears until she had the hiccups and still couldn't stop on top of her sobbing.

"Liv, it's okay." He reached for a bottle of water and unscrewed it, holding it in front of her. "Here, drink, slowly." She waved the water away and finally got a few words out.

"I, I'm not ready to get m-married..." She gave a hiccup and continued crying. Funny thing was, she had no idea why she was crying.

"We discussed that babe and I'm fine with it." He said soothingly.

"But... I-I..." another hiccup and her tears were somewhat under control and she blew out a deep breath through her mouth followed by another hiccup.

"That night I told you that I loved you..." She wiped her eyes. "I p-promised myself the next day that I'd open up, and that I'd put myself out there but I haven't and Nick I've tried but I haven't been able to because my first instinct is to guard myself. It's been that way with every relationship I've had and now I have Noah, that same instinct says guard him...but I don't need to do that with you. Nick you've been the one thing in my life that's tried so hard to show me you love me; that you love us and I fought you and I'm sorry."

"Liv, you don't have to apologize. Do you sincerely believe that I don't understand how hard it's been for you all these years? It's why I never pressed."

"And I love you for it but I can't live my life that way anymore and I can't expect Noah to grow up that way..." She gave another hiccup then touched her hand to her stomach. "And this baby, Nick I'm not ready for marriage and to be honest, I don't know if I ever will be but I love you, I do, and I trust you and it was never you, it's been me with my insecurities but I'm letting them go." Hiccups again and this time Nick laughed and she laughed with him through teary eyes.

"I know that you love my son and he loves you, and if you want to be a father to him... I want you to be a father to him. I want you to teach him baseball, and how to fix cars and burping and video games; whatever it is that guys do, I want you to have that with him."

"I love you, you know that?"

"I do, and I love you." Wiping her tears, he leaned in and kissed her.

"Can we eat now? I'm hungry." She said with a hiccup.

* * *

.

Later that night at the restaurant, they were eating dessert at their table and laughing, having had a good time.

"Did not know you knew how to dance like that." He said.

"What did you think, I'm some vanilla white girl? Besides, I had to work off some of dinner, my god I ate so much."

"Yeah but Salsa and Mambo? And you're good at it!"

"There's a lot about me that would surprise you, Amaro."

"I can't wait to find them all out." She downed a forkful of chocolate cake before he leaned in and kissed her, savoring her lips. "I don't know what tastes better, you or the cake."

"I could wear it and have you eat it off me." She said with a grin just as her phone rang. "Benson... Oh hey Fin." She and Nick sat holding hands as he played with her fingers.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need the Schiller file and it happens to be locked in your office."

"Crap. I forgot to take it back out yesterday before I left. I'm so sorry."

"No biggie, but I do need it before tomorrow, I got court first thing Monday morning, I'm sorry to have to call."

"No it's okay. Um, I'm in the Bronx right now, can you give me about 40 minutes and meet me there? Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"You have to go in?"

"Just to get a file." She shoved a bite of cake into her mouth and then another. "Mmm, you mind?"

"Of course not. Why don't you get the car from the valet and I'll take care of the check."

"Thanks Nick." She took the last bite from the plate and put it in her mouth before getting up, kissing his cheek and leaving. Nick sat there laughing as the waiter came by.

"Can I get the check...and uh, gimme an espresso dark chocolate salted dulce de leche cake to go."

* * *

.

"I wanna get home, put on pajamas and ravage that cake."

"I had other plans but..."

"God I'm gonna be 500 pounds by the time this baby is born."

"You'll still be beautiful."

"You always say the right thing."

"That's because I mean it!" He kissed her.

"Alright you two, break it up!" Fin called from the door.

"Hey man!" Amaro said.

"I still gotta decide if i forgive you. But it's good to see you Amaro!" Fin said as the two of them hugged. "How you been?"

"Good, life is definitely good."

"And I can see I'm interrupting so I won't keep y'all. Liv thanks."

"Don't worry about it. I'll see you Monday."

"Alright. See you next Sunday." He said to Amaro.

"Alright man." Fin turned and left and Amaro walked to the door to watch him leave and make sure he was gone before he shut Liv's office door and locked it then went to where she was standing at the desk with her back to him looking at her files and he put his arms around her from behind.

"We are not having sex in this office!" Olivia said with her back still to him and a smirk on her face. Nick turned her to face him.

"Did I say anything about sex." He asked, stepping impossibly close with his arms on her waist.

"No, but I can read your mind."

"Oh yeah"

"Yeah" Slowly she leaned in and kissed him and in turn he devoured her mouth, hungrily kissing her before he trailed down to her neck then back up to her mouth.

"It's you" He said kissing.

"What?" She asked between kisses.

"You or the chocolate, it's you." She let out a throaty laugh. "You know, the last time you were in this dress, I recall that I went down on you and..."

"Oh I remember. I also remember that you left me high and dry and no matter how much I masturbated, I still couldn't get myself off!"

"I guess I need to make amends." He kissed her lips as he leaned her against the desk and unwrapped her dress, his lips trailing down her neck and her breasts. He got down on his knees, kissing her stomach through the tight slip she wore while he reached under and grabbed the waist of her panties and slowly maneuvered them down her long legs, looking wondrously at her gorgeous olive skin, caressing it as he kissed her there then spread her legs. She shuddered as he blew her there, the heat of his mouth coming into contact with her slit as he ran his fingers up the length and being flooded by how wet she was, licking her from his fingers before he pushed them inside her and lowered his mouth to her clit as she hissed and moaned.

* * *

**.**

**I accidentally put "the end" after this chapter, my bad. Rest assured it's not the end, in fact, we have lots more to tell. In the meantime, how about a review? **


	18. Surprise

**Sorry for the holdup, just haven't felt much like writing this and I wanted to do it right so I had to wait until the inspiration hit me. Anyway, Dick Wolf owns, I'm just a vessel. Enjoy!**

* * *

.

Monday morning was hard to get going. Between the morning sickness, Noah being up half the night and now being clingy, and waking up to find that nothing fit her. Olivia was having a very tough time and was thankful that Lucy was there. With her dry heaving while trying to deal with Noah... God she felt so bad that he was reaching for her in tears while she was hunched over the toilet, sick.

Noah had had another dream last night, he woke up just after midnight and was so upset that she had to put him into bed with her so he'd feel safe enough to go back to sleep. Finally after singing to him and carrying him around for hours, he went to sleep around three and she got to sleep for about 90 minutes before her morning sickness woke her up and she went running for the bathroom. She called Nick at just after 5 in the morning, and got about ten minutes of conversation time before Noah woke up again crying for her, she got lucky though because she put him on speaker with Nick and that took his mind off whatever was bothering him and he went back to sleep for a bit.

Now after finally calming her stomach enough and getting dressed she cursed out loud because the clothes that fit her (barely) on friday literally would not today. She had to put on a pair of pants and leave them open with a belt that was precariously holding on to it last two hooks to hold them up and leave her blouse untucked, a blouse which did not button over her breasts that no longer fit into her bras, she had to wear a sports bra and leave a few buttons on her blouse undone. Her breasts would surely ache but at least she was covered and at least her jacket fit (barely). She seriously had to go maternity clothes shopping.

By the time she was all done with everything and managed to calm Noah down so that she could get out the door she was already late and Noah wasn't as calm as she thought, crying "mama" as she left and reaching for her. Lucy assured her that he'd be fine but he threw a fit and she went back to him for ten minutes but then she absolutely had to leave. He was freaking out, she started to cry feeling guilt at leaving her son like this, she didn't know why he was behaving this way and she was also feeling completely overwhelmed. By the time she got downstairs she couldn't stop and was bawling as she left the building and took a cab, leaving everyone who saw her looking perplexed and a couple of people asking if she was okay. God why did her hormones have to strike at the worst times?

* * *

.

9:28 she finally got to work, red eyed from crying, worries about Noah and nauseous and she just wanted 5 minutes of quiet to herself.

"Mornin boss" Carisi greeted from where he and Amanda were gathered at the coffee pot but she simply threw up her hand and retreated to her office and closed the door before anyone could utter another word, then as soon as she had closed the door she was coming out and making a beeline for the bathroom seconds later.

"If that isn't pregnant..." Carisi started.

"Tell me about it; I mean she can't hide it for much longer, look at her. Wonder when she's gonna tell us." Rollins stated.

"Better question, who's the dad?" Jackson said

"I got some ideas about that." Amanda said, picking up a suger packet.

"Care to share?" Moroni said.

"Nope!" Amanda said and walked off.

"What is it with people and secrets around here?" Carisi wondered out loud.

... ... ...

Moments later after Olivia had emptied her stomach, she went back through the squad room in hopes of getting back to her office with no incident but she wasn't to be that lucky. It was Amanda who stopped her.

"Sarge, you okay? You don't look so good." She said, sipping her coffee.

"Yeah...I'm uh, I'm fine." She said, actually sickened by the coffee and whatever Carisi was eating on a bagel, what was that? Bacon, eggs and cheese? God, those eggs smell rancid! And what was that that Johnson was eating? Something with sausage? She had to get into her office before she...

"Benson, just the person I wanted to see!" Lieutenant Tucker said as he walked in. She rolled her eyes which didn't go unnoticed by Amanda who tried to stifle a laugh, slowly Olivia turned around.

"Lieutenant... What can I do for you?" She asked trying to sound way perkier that she felt.

"A word?" He asked. She gestured toward her office and they went inside and shut the door.

"Look if this is about my pregnancy, I already told 1PP it won't be an issue." She said sitting down, thankful to be out of the squad room and away from the smells.

"Relax Sergeant it's not about your pregnancy, by the way, you told your squad yet?"

"...not yet. So to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"What? I can't just pop in?" He asked, joking.

"No. What's going on?"

"Well, I was sniffin around 1PP and the skuttlebutt is they want a Lieutenant in here." Olivia had a look of uncertainty on her face, half shock. "They're not happy with a Sergeant runnin things.

"Last that I checked I was doing a pretty good job... We busted Johnny D's sex trafficking ring, we took down Yates after Chicago botched it..."

"And they've noticed. They're open to the prospect of you stayin on... That's why I told them you already filed for the Lieutenant's exam."

She gave him a look that said pretty clear _'what the fuck, are you kidding me?'._

"But I haven't."

"Then don't make a liar out of me." He said, amused. She simply got up from her desk and began walking around her office suddenly feeling nauseated again on top of everything else.

"I'm quite happy with the way things are, thank you.

"Look, they want a Lieutenant and if it's not you, it's gonna be somebody else." He informed her. Now she was getting a headache just thinking about this. She couldn't imagine putting more on her plate right now.

"I don't know what to say!" She said with a hand to her stomach.

"That's a first..." He grinned but she looked at him with a mixture of humor and hate. "Think about it, also, think about who your second whip would be...better you than a blind draw!"

"Tucker..."

"You'll do fine. Congrats on the baby by the way." And he turned and left, leaving her standing there wondering what she was going to do. She sat down and called home.

"Hey Liv." Lucy said.

"Hey, how's he doing?"

"He actually cried himself to sleep, poor guy." Liv had to stifle the tears that rushed to her eyes.

"He didn't aggravate his asthma did he?" She asked wiping tears.

"No, thank god. But don't worry, I've got his medicine in case he does."

"Yeah..." She couldn't hold back her tears.

"Liv don't cry, he'll be fine! I promise."

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm just really hormonal these days. Uh when he wakes up, if you think it would be a good idea can you call and put him on the phone? If not I'll just see you later."

"Sure."

"Thanks Lucy." She hung up the phone and wiped her eyes again just as someone was knocking. "Come in."

"Hey, just wanted to see how you're doin." Fin said as he came in and closed the door.

"I'm nauseous and my hormones are going crazy!" She said. "And my clothes don't fit!" She said crying.

"You okay?" He asked handing her two tissues.

"Thank you..." She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "You never saw this."

"Saw what?" He smiled and she mimicked him.

"So I have to find a number two" She said seemingly unfazed now, tears all dry.

"For what?"

"1PP wants a Lieutenant for this place so guess who has to take the test or deal with someone else coming in to run this place."

"You"

"Bingo"

"And you said you needed a number two"

"I was hoping I could convince you to do it"

"Liv..."

"Fin, you're the only one I trust and if you won't do it it'll be Holmes and I want it to be you. Don't make me beg."

"Baby girl you know how I feel about this, it's too much trouble!" She sat at her desk looking at him. "You ain't gon take no for an answer are you?"

"No"

"Alright, I'll think about it." He said as he turned to leave.

* * *

.

Later that day Olivia was sitting on Carisi's desk eating French fries while he was talking to her about a case.

"So far we know that we have rapes in these areas, all our victims gave us the same report: male, mid 20's, white and he's got a scar on his right hand but we don't have no facial ID since in all 5 incidences, he grabbed them from behind." He said.

"So in reality, we don't really have a clue who we're looking for." Olivia said munching.

"Well no, but, one of the vics did say she saw his stomach when he was pulling up his pants and he has a large mole on his stomach.

"A mole?"

"Yeah..."

"Talk to the victims again, see if there's anything else they remember. His voice, his scent, anything that'll help us catch him."

"On it boss."

"And take Lopez with you. He's good at details" she said and headed back to her office when she saw Amanda come in from lunch.

"Rollins, can I see you in my office?" Amanda looked around the squad room before she followed Olivia.

... ... ...

"Shut the door please" Olivia asked. Rollins was a little scared but did so anyway and came into the office.

"You wanna see me?" Amanda said apprehensively.

"Yeah, have a seat." Olivia gestured to the sofa and chairs off to the side. Amanda nervously sat in one of the chairs and Olivia, after pulling her jacket, took a seat directly in front of her on the couch. There was a long moment of silence that passed between them when finally Olivia spoke.

"I um... Amanda, I've been meaning to talk to you, I um..." She blew out a deep breath.

"Take your time" Although she had a feeling what it was. She knew that Liv had been fucking Nick for months even though neither of them ever admitted to it and while she held no ill will toward either of them, she felt like it was a slap in the face that they were all in the same workplace, considered themselves friends and no one could just tell her the truth.

"Amanda;" Here came the tears again and Olivia silently cursed them as she blinked them back and tried her damnedest not to cry them but it was no use. They were determined to impede on that moment. "I'm sorry, give me a second." She said as she reached for the tissues.

"Are you alright?" Amanda was a bit taken by surprise with the tears and wondered if maybe it wasn't about she and Nick.

"Yeah... I'm just so hormonal, I can't control it. I'm sorry." She said crying as she wiped her tears bit they just kept coming.

"Hormonal?"

"I'm pregnant! Nick and I - we...I don't even know how it happened but it..."

"Liv it's okay. I already knew about the two of you, it's kind of hard to hide."

"So everybody?" She asked still in tears. "God will this crying stop already?"

"No I mean hard to hide from me I just...I noticed and I want you to know that I'm okay with it but if I'm being honest I wish you'd told me sooner.

"And you're right I just didn't know how. I've never been in this situation before and when it started to get serious..." She wiped her eyes. "If it's any consolation, Nick wanted to tell you but I was the one that wanted more time." She said, her tears stopped.

"A baby huh?"

"Almost 4 months"

"Congratulations, and I really mean that. To be honest I always knew you were the one."

"The one?"

"Yeah I mean, Nick's a great guy but he's been in love with you for as long as any of us can remember and he and me, we didn't have... That. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." Her tears started up again. "Dammit!" She said reaching for the tissues and they laughed.

"I'm gonna leave and let you straighten this out. Congrats again, you really deserve it." She said and walked out leaving Liv crying on the sofa.

"We're gonna have to talk about this crying business, it is not a good look for me!" Olivia said to her baby as she rubbed her stomach. "Let's go see if there are any donuts."

* * *

.

At the end of the day there were a few detectives left in the place and Liv was exhausted and heading home as she gathered up her things.

"You excited that Noah's adoption is a week away?" Fin said.

"I'm afraid to feel anything until it happens." Olivia laughed then yawned. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Need a ride?"

"Oh, could you? I don't have the energy to hail a cab."

"Sure thing. Just lemme..." He reached and turned off his computer. "Alright, let's roll."

... ... ...

As they were exiting the building and crossed the street into the parking lot, neither of them saw it coming; saw him coming, the short white guy with the mullet. They had dealt with this guy in the past, served 7 years for a rape charge and he vowed that once he got out he would make Elliot and Olivia pay. Well just released from jail a week ago, he got his hands on a gun and came to pay his favorite detectives a visit. The thing was, Elliot was no longer around much to his dissatisfaction but hey, half of one was better than none and it was with this that he called to Olivia.

"Detective Benson!" She turned around to look at the person calling her name, but didn't immediately recognize him.

"Do I know you" Now Fin, ever protective, was looking and coming closer.

"Don't worry about it!"

"Liv, he's got a gun!" Fin said and like a movie,Fin pulled out and shot the guy once in the head but it was already too late. Lying by the car with tears in her eyes he saw Olivia and rushed over to her along with the other cops who came running from the precinct.

"Liv... Liv hold on baby!" He said as he held her in his arms. "CALL A BUS!" He screamed as she tried to speak.

"Fin..." She said weakly and passed out. There was blood covering her shirt and growing faster by the minute. Fin immediately tore open her blouse to inspect the damage and gasped when he saw the bleeding wound in her side and several officers rushed over to him.

"Get an ambulance...hurry." He cried as he pressed against the wound. "Just hold on baby girl!"

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**.**

**Now we know what Noah's dreams were all about. Let's hope she makes it! I would love it if you'd leave a review.**


	19. Hoping

**Here's another helping for you all. It's not long but it gets where it needs to be. Dick Wolf owns, enjoy**.

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As the ambulance sped off to the hospital, Fin was in the back with Olivia who was in and out of consciousness. She'd come to every couple minutes to look around, frightened at the EMT's and what was going on around her. Her blouse had been torn open and her tank top cut away to give access to the wound. She tried talking but with the oxygen mask on that she definitely needed and the pain exploding where she'd been shot, she found it next to impossible.

_"Olivia, stay with me!"_ She heard Fin say. _Why did he sound so far away?_ She looked over and could see him blurrily. He was holding her hand and saying something else to her that she couldn't make out. _My baby!_ She thought. _I can't lose my baby... _She thought as tears came to her eyes and she cried them silently then pulled off her oxygen mask that the EMT's tried to put back on but she weakly fought them. She had to speak to Fin.

"Don't try to talk, save your stre-" Fin started as he tried helping to put the mask back on that she'd lowered but she swatted at it with what little bit of strength she had.

"B-baby h-hit, is...?" She said, breathing heavily.

"We don't know yet Liv, please..."

"Tell N-Nick Noah..." She cried out in terrible agony, and Fin was scared even more but tried hard not to show it.

"You'll tell em yourself baby girl, you're gonna be fine." He said with tears streaming from his eyes, just as they were hers as he held on to her hand for dear life.

"T-tell them..." She nearly blacked out due to the pain. "I love them." She said and suddenly she was unconscious, the monitors making a sound that Fin knew too well.

"Liv don't do this!" He shouted frantically.

"Move back sir." George said.

"No pulse" Hanna said as she quickly charged up the defibrillator. "Clear!" Quickly she shocked Olivia's heart with the paddles, her body jumping unnaturally and waited, only to be met by the same result.

"Come on Sergeant, I am not losing you!" She said before turning up the defibrillator and administering another shock.

* * *

.

They got to the hospital with just enough time. Liv was bad shape with the EMT's having had to shock her three times before her heart started again and she was unconscious and barely hanging on. Fin ran in with her, holding her hand and talking to her though she couldn't hear him but he had to tell her that she'd be alright. He had to tell her that Noah and Nick would see her again; that he'd see her again...

"Sir, we'll take it from here." A nurse said when they got to a final set of double doors. The team rushed Olivia through and Fin gripped the hand of the male nurse.

"Please; she's pregnant and she has a little boy at home...she's my best friend." He said looking tearfully into the nurse's eyes needing no further words.

"We'll do everything we can!" He promised and went back. Fin stepped back and took a deep breath, wiped his eyes before he took out his phone and dialed Nick.

_You've reached Nick, leave a message and I'll get back to you!_

Fin took another deep breath and spoke into the phone.

"Nick; it's 6:32...you probably know that... I need you to call me as soon as you get this...please... It's Fin." He hung up his phone, then dialed Lucy. He waited for a moment while her phone rang, three times before she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Lucy, it's Fin..."

... ... ...

An hour went by and they heard nothing other than they were trying to stabilize Olivia before they took her into surgery. Amanda had gotten there and she and Fin sat, side by side amongst the other nine or ten detectives and unis who were there.

"You guys might as well head out, it could be some time before we get news." Amanda said to the group of them.

"We want to." Said one of the unis.

"Well then how about a coffee run?" Amanda said.

"I could do that, it'll feel better knowing I'm helping" he said and began taking orders just as Tucker walked in.

"Detectives" he greeted before continuing to approach Fin and dropped his voice. "How is she?" He asked as he and Fin stepped to the side.

"Their trying to stabilize her before they can go into surgery."

"What happened?"

"We were leavin for the day, and a guy approached, called Benson and I saw a gun. He aimed it at her, I shot him first...but the gun had gone off and..." He wiped his eyes. "Who was he?"

"Edward Morrow. Benson and Stabler arrested him eight years ago for rape, he got released a week ago..."

"And came for Liv... Son of a bitch!"

"Is there anything you need for her?" Tucker asked.

"I wish I hadn't killed that bastard so I could rip him apart." Fin said.

"I didn't hear that but I'll need your statement first thing tomorrow." Fin nodded his head as he looked toward those doors, he was scared and couldn't hide it. Tucker made his way out, stopping to address the unis.

"I assume you people have work to do!" He barked. The other officers quickly said their goodbyes and left, all except Fin and Amanda.

"Way to clear a place." Amanda said walking over to him. "Fin; she'll be alright" she said.

"You sayin that from knowin or outta hope?"

"Little bit of both...she'll pull through, she has Noah and that baby; she has to."

"We don't even know if there still is a baby."

"I like to think that god wouldn't be so cruel." Amanda said.

"From your lips..." He said.

"Since our unis got run off, I'm gonna go get us some coffee. You want anything else?"

"No, coffee is fine"

"Comin up!" She said and walked away. Fin looked at the doors again then at the clock. It had been a little over an hour since he called Nick and... His phone suddenly lit up when it began vibrating. He took it from his pocket to see that it was him.

"Nick..."

"Liv's phone is going to voicemail and then I got your message, what...?" He asked sounding nervous.

"There's been an accident."

"Noah...is he..."

"Noah's fine... It's Liv"

"Liv? The baby?"

"I don't know... Nick, she was shot; and it's bad." There was a long pause during which on Nick's end he burst into tears. "Nick, you there?"

"Yeah. I'm on my way!" He said and he hung up.

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**More soon. In the meantime, how about a review?**


	20. Answered

**Here ya go babies, a little somethin for you all. Now listen, I'm gonna [try to] take a quick break from this so I can focus on Daddy cuz it's been far too long since I gave an update and I need to get to that. So, here we are with chapter 20, Dick Wolf owns the characters, enjoy!**

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9:17PM Nick came rushing through the doors of the hospital looking older than he was with worry etched across his features. He had worried the entire private plane ride here, barely able to sit down from being so excited. All he could think of was Olivia; how bad was she shot, where was the bullet and if she...god forbid, what would happen to Noah? His adoption hadn't been made final and he wasn't legally his father- he stood in danger of losing them both, of losing their baby.

Their baby; since the day he found out that Olivia was carrying him or her, he began having a world of dreams for this baby; dreams that only intensified the day he got to see it on the sonogram. Suddenly life for him or her (he was hoping for a boy) and Noah; they would grow up together and being only two years apart they'd be close. He'd never had a brother growing up and just imaging all the adventures him and Noah would have... Then there was Olivia. This baby meant more to her than anything! It was her first pregnancy and though she'd been shocked at first, the love she'd grown...if she lost this baby there would be no other. She'd been shocked to find that she even got pregnant to begin with, thinking that door was closed and yet somehow... But he knew that there wouldn't be another and God wouldn't do this to her; he wouldn't do this to them.

"God, I'm begging you; I am begging you on my knees... Please don't take her away from me. I can't live without her." He cried as he knelt in prayer in the chapel.

... ... ...

Four hours later as he and Fin sat nervously after they'd convinced themselves that walking a hole in the floor would do no good and forced themselves to sit, they were nervous again.

"It's been almost seven hours since she got here." Nick nervously spouted. "Why hasn't anyone come to tell us anything since she went into surgery?"

"I don't know!" Fin said. "I pray we hear something soon."

"I should have been here..." he said, tears falling from his eyes.

"Nick"

"No, man..."

"Listen to me, that's grief talking. There's nothing you could have done." Nick just sat there and cried.

"Fin, if we lose her..." He cried. Just then, Amanda walked in with Carisi.

"Any word?" Carisi asked.

"Other than she's in surgery? Nothin!" Nick said, wiping his tears as he got up and began walking the room. Amanda looked at Sonny and Fin.

"How's Noah doin?" She asked Nick.

"He uh... I asked my mom to stay with him to relieve Lucy; I talked to him to calm him until he fell asleep. I don't know what I'm gonna tell him if she doesn't..."

"Mr Amaro...?" The middle aged, female doctor called.

"Nick ran to greet her, Fin, Amanda and Sonny right behind him.

"Tell me she made it." Nick beseeched desperately.

"We removed the bullet, it did a lot of damage but we were able to repair it."

"So she's alive?"

"Barely. She bled a lot, we had to transfuse her and she flatlined."

"Doc, be straight with us... She gonna make it?" Fin asked.

"At this point...if she makes it until morning her chances will greatly increase." Nick stepped closer to the doctor, moving her a bit off to the side.

"And the baby?" He asked in a muted tone, hoping. The doctor looked at with sad eyes, choosing her next words carefully.

... ... ...

7AM in the intensive care unit, Nick sat at Olivia's bedside not having slept or moved From his position. She had managed to get through the night with no major incidence and he prayed that it was enough to keep her with them. He held her hand from the moment he got there and had not let go; didn't intend to for as long as she lay there unconscious. There were so many monitors hooked up to her that he wondered if she could hear him through all the beeping... _Could she hear her own thoughts? _He wondered as he lovingly stroked her hand.

"We got a whole chapter in our lives that hasn't been written yet and I'm countin on you... Come on Liv, open those beautiful eyes, please just open your eyes." He cried.

... ... ...

Hours later after 8PM and there was still no change. It had officially been over 24 hours and Olivia was still in this state. She hasn't flatlined again or had any trouble since she was in surgery last night and he thanked God, but she still wasn't awake. He still wasn't able to hear her voice, or see her smile... He just wanted her to come back to him and to Noah; he needed her to come back.

"I'm not goin anywhere." He said and kissed her hand. "I know you can hear me...please Olivia; just follow my voice and come back. You gotta come back!" He said. He wiped his tears and settled in for the night, he hadn't eaten and he couldn't; not when she was lying there like this, not when part of his whole world was lying in a hospital bed and he didn't know...

"Please god, let her wake up!" He prayed and removed his phone to call Zara and Noah.

... ... ...

3AM the nurses had just finished examining her and changing her bandages amongst other things while Nick took a bathroom break. He looked a mess, he knew but he didn't care. What mattered was Olivia, still no change but he believed she would come out of this, she had to. He walked back into the room and saw no difference in anything as the nurses left. He took his seat at her bedside and took her hand. Simply kissing it again and entwining his fingers with hers.

"Please Liv..." He said and put his head down against her hand and suddenly she opened her eyes partly and said in a tired voice:

"Nick..." He sat up, not believing that he'd heard her.

"Liv!" He said through tears.

"Where am I?" She said breathing painfully and shallowly as tears flowed from her eyes.

"You're in the hospital..." She thought for a moment and realized why.

"I, I got shot, I..."

"That's right, you got shot." A moment passed before she looked up towards the ceiling trying to keep her tears in tact but failing.

"I lost the baby, didn't I?" Tears were steady falling.

"Liv..."

"Oh god!" She said devastated as she broke, crying in deep sobs.

"Liv, you didn't lose it, he's safe and sound inside you... That's his heartbeat comin off that monitor." She turned her head slightly to look at it.

"He's safe?" And she started to cry even harder. The nurses entered the room and were thankful to see that she was awake, one of the nurses leaving to call the doctor while Nick comforted her.

"Ms. Benson, you gave us quite the scare!"

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**.**

**That's all I got, but you know what would be awesome? If everyone reading this went and gave a quick review...or a long one, why limit yourself? Until next time.**


	21. Thinking

**Sorry for the wait. Here's chapter 21 for you, enjoy!**

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The day that followed saw Olivia in and out of sleep from the moment she opened her eyes. The doctor explained to Nick that it was normal after sustaining such an injury, she'd be exhausted from the surgery and the drugs and now as of 8AM she had checked Olivia twice and had the nurses in every two hours to keep her vitals. So far, so good.

Just after 7PM Olivia woke again and Nick was right there. She smiled at seeing him again, even in his disheveled state; he desperately needed a shave and a shower but more than that, he was there for her smiling, so thankful every time she opened her eyes.

"Nick"

"I'm right here."

"Is the baby still..."

"He's safe and sound...don't you worry" he said with a hand to her stomach.

"You don't know that it's a boy!" She said weakly as she held his hand, placing it over the one on her small swell.

"Father's intuition." He looked at her for a moment, reaching out to caress her face as he wept, trying and failing miserably to hide his tears. "If I had lost you..."

"I'm sorry"

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for"

"I could've lost our baby, I could have-" she said swatting her tears. He leaned in and kissed her, lightly, on the lips and allowed his head to linger, their foreheads touching as he caressed her face and they cried, speaking volumes without a word between them. A look that told her _you're here, Noah's alright and this baby is gonna be fine! _She shook her head as tears streamed her face and they kissed again.

"I got a little surprise for you!" He said wiping his eyes. He took out his phone and called his mom.

"Hey mami, put him on"

"Hold on." She said as she brought Noah in view. "Noah, look."

"Hey mano, guess who I have here?" Noah was silent but curious.

"Noah." Olivia cried as she came into his view.

"mama!" He cried, suddenly torn between his tears and being so happy, he chose to smile.

"My baby boy!" She said as tears fell down her face. "Are you okay?"

"Kay. Mama"

"I miss you so much!" She couldn't stop crying.

"Mama home..." Noah said, starting to cry which made Olivia cry more.

"Soon baby, I promise!" She kissed her fingers and placed them on the screen before she suddenly felt sick. "I'm gonna get better and come home to you."

"Mama..." He cried and leaned against Caesarea who immediately went to comforting him.

"Noah, I love you..." She got out before she leaned over, gripping the bed rail and threw up.

"Mom I'll call you back!" Nick said and disconnected the call. "Liv?" He was quick to hold her and she threw up again and then a third time before it stopped and she laid back in bed sweating as he moved her hair out of her eyes.

"You're okay." He took a cloth and wiped her mouth and brow

"I'm sorry!" She apologized to Nick, sounding weak as she cried and the nurse entered, forcing her to apologize again. "I'm so sorry!"

"That's alright!" Monica, the nurse said cheerfully. "I'll get this cleaned up and get the doctor.

"Thank you Monica." She walked out as he held Olivia's hand and wiped her brow as she closed her eyes. He could tell that the medicine was taking effect again.

"Nick" she called sleepily.

"Yeah baby" he asked putting a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Go home to Noah...please"

* * *

Later at Olivia's apartment, Nick entered to find Caesarea up with Noah. He was on her shoulder and she was singing him a Cuban lullaby as he tried to whine himself to sleep.

_"Drume negrita  
Que yo va a comprar nueva cunita  
Que tendrá capite' y también ca'cabe'  
Si tu drume yo te traigo un mamey muy colorao  
Si no drume yo te traigo un babalao  
Que da pau pau_

A la negrita se le salen  
Los pies de la cunita  
Y la negra Merce' ya no sabe que hace'  
Drume negrita  
Que yo va a compra' nueva cunita  
Que tendrá capite' y también ca'cabe'  
Si tú drume yo te traigo un mamey muy colorao'...

Nick entered the living room with

_"Si no drume yo te traigo un babalao'  
Que da pau pau."_

"You used to sing that to us" he said kissing her on the head.

"I remember" she smiled. "How's Olivia?"

"Come here mano." Noah quickly flew to his arms, staring suspiciously at the beard but so happy to have him there. Nick laughed and hugged him tight, soothing him by rubbing his back as he took a seat on the couch. Noah put his head down on Nick's shoulder, tucking it in the crook of his neck then put his little arms around Nick as much as they would go, the whines quickly quieting.

"She's okay. Had a little incident but the doctor checked her out and she's fine thank god! Hey little man, your mama said I should give you the biggest hug and kiss for her!" He said as he squeezed Noah and kissed him several times.

"You left her alone?!"

"Fin's there till morning" Noah who was already on his way to sleep.

"Poor thing, he hasn't slept much. He misses her." Caesarea said. "Why don't I put him in bed and then I'll get you something to eat"

"You know mami, I'm not really hungry right now, I'm just gonna sit here with Noah if that's okay?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah; I missed him a lot these last couple days." He turned to Noah. "I thought about you a lot...I thought about losing you if anything happened to your mother." He kissed the top of Noah's head. "...It scared me to death!"

"Gracias a Dios, you can put it out of your head now." Caesarea said with a kiss to Nick."I'm gonna go on home and give you two some time."

"Mami it's late!"

"It's barely 8:30, stop worrying, I'll call when I'm there. You two have a good night, get some sleep!"

... ... ...

After his mother was gone, Nick lay back on the couch with Noah on him, fast asleep and he decided to call the hospital before he himself checked out.

"Hey man" Fin whispered.

"Hey, she still out?"

"Yeah, I think she's done for the night. Everything okay? Noah must've been happy to see you"

"You could say that" he laughed as he held him close and gave one last kiss. "Looked at the facial hair a little strange but..."

He and Fin shared a laugh. "I would've loved to see that" Fin grinned. "So, you good?"

"Yeah man, I'm fine now. Thanks again"

"Anytime. If I need you I'll call you but aside from that I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright man." He ended the call and draped the throw over him and Noah. He looked down at the baby, sleeping peacefully on his chest and tears came to his eyes. He didn't try to stop them from falling; feeling such an overwhelming sense of relief. Olivia would be okay, Noah was safe, their baby was safe and Zara, his princess although she was far away she was okay and for the first time in a very long time, he was truly grateful for everything in his life.

... ... ...

6:30AM the next morning and sound asleep, Nick was suddenly awakened by chubby little hands slapping his face while Noah called out to him.

"Ayy." He said, near a whisper. Nick started to stir.

"Ayyyy" he said again near a whisper. When Nick didn't respond, he said in a much louder voice "Nit"

When Nick jumped, Noah laughed his head off. "You've got a weird sense of humor kid!" He laughed. "Alright, I'm up!" He said as he sat up to Noah smiling and cupping his face.

"Mor'n"

"Good morning, mano. You hungry?"

"Eat?"

"Yeah, eat."

"Baba firs?" The toddler asked smiling.

"After" Noah grunted and Nick laughed again. "Come on, let's go get you changed and then breakfast." He scooped him up and carried him to his room.

* * *

Later that morning freshly showered, Nick made his way to the hospital just after nine. Fin called earlier to tell him that they were moving Olivia to a regular room and out of intensive stopped on the way to pick up flowers and was not surprised when he got there to find Liv and Fin sleeping.

"Hey got room for me in here?" Nick smiled as he knocked and stuck his head in the door.

"Hi." Olivia said opening her eyes, surprising even herself with how happy she was to see Nick.

"Hold on, you up for a visitor?"

"Visitor? Who's the visitor?" She asked. Nick opened the door to reveal Noah sitting on his hip. When he looked in and saw Olivia he immediately lit up.

"Mama!" He cried reaching for her.

"Noah?" Nick brought him over to the bed.

"Easy babe." He directed her, letting Noah into her arms. She didn't care about the pain of reaching for him and held him so tight when he was in her arms, she couldn't stop her tears from flowing. Noah reveled in the feel of her, took in her scent as she did him and sat up to look into her face.

"Mama!" He smiled, beyond happy and rested against her again as she held him, still in tears.

"Thank you!" She said to Nick and kissed Noah before Nick leaned in and kissed her lips then stood back smiling at the happy scene in front of him.

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**More to come, much longer next time but in the meantime, how about some love in the form of reviews?**


	22. Adoption

**Hello babies. Back with chapter 22, y'all know the disclaimers so let's get to it. Enjoy!**

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Monday morning rolled around and as usual Nick brought Noah by the hospital to spend the day with Olivia and as usual Noah was a hit with the nurses and doctors fawning over him, collecting an absurd amount of candy and even a few toys as he came in. By the time he got to Olivia's room he walked in, much more comfortable with his surroundings than he was the first day and he greeted her happily.

"ie mama." He said, running into her arms.

"Hi baby boy!" She swooped him up and sat him on her lap, hugging and kissing him.

"Hey babe" Nick said with a kiss to her lips.

"Hey you!" She said kissing him back. "I see you've shaved." She said, pulling him in for another smooch.

"I figured I'd wanna look nice today."

"Oh? And what's so special about today?"

"Mama nook" Noah said, showing off one of the toys he'd collected on the way in.

"Oh wow, it's a racecar!" She said.

"Wacecaw" "he said quickly. The pace at which he was learning new words was astounding.

"Good going Noah, racecar, that's right!" Nick exclaimed proudly.

"Wacecaw..." Noah repeated again before he broke into laughter. "Me pay" he said before he began driving around on Olivia, she just smiled and kissed his head.

"So, about that comment?" She redirected to Nick.

"Uh..." He hesitated, when suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Just in time."

"What are you- Trevor?" She looked from him to Nick with a look of suspicion on her face.

"How are you, Olivia?"

"I'm doing much better, thank you. What are you doing here?" She asked, trying to reign Noah in when he began moving too much. Nick reached over and scooped him up, standing him up between his legs.

"Ay" Noah greeted, waving to Trevor.

"Hey buddy." Trevor said bending down. "How's it going?"

"Wacecaw" Noah said, showing off his car once more.

"Nice, and it's red."

"Wed" he said and giggled. "Nit wed" he turned and said to Nick.

"Apparently, everyone is good at dodging questions today!" Olivia said in a laugh then suddenly quieted, feeling ill. She closed her eyes a minute and took deep breaths as her hand went to her stomach.

"Is she-is she okay?" Trevor asked, slightly worried.

"She's alright. Could you give us a minute?" Nick said from her bedside.

"Sure. I'll go and wait for... I'll go wait." He said and stepped out. Nick took Olivia's free hand, letting Noah play on the floor, and kissed it.

"Just breathe"

"You'd think a bullet could stop this morning sickness." She said, on the verge of crying again.

"Did you try eating?"

"I tried but I couldn't get it down... I'm sorry." She was fully in tears.

"Liv... Baby don't cry"

"That's another thing I can't stop, I'm constantly crying for no reason!" He hugged her while she sobbed, Noah looking on. "My son thinks I'm crazy!" She said through her tears.

"No he doesn't, do you Noah?" Nick said. Noah just looked up and laughed, causing Olivia to smile while she rested her head on Nick's shoulder, tears all gone.

"I'm okay."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure"

"Yeah? Cuz you looked pretty sick."

"I feel pretty sick, but I'm okay. I don't think I'll vomit. Today was supposed to be Noah's adoption... I just really wanted to be able to call him mine today." Nick took her into his arms to comfort her.

"It's gonna be alright. I didn't wanna spoil the surprise but that's the reason Trevor is here, and Judge Linden any minute now..." She quickly pulled away.

"What? Nick how did you-" He picked Noah up from the floor.

"Well, little man and I were talking and he didn't want you to miss his big day either. He knows how important it is and so do I, can you say Happy Adoption Day, Noah?"

"adda dop day!" He smiled. Olivia was so overcome, she just hugged Noah and looked at Nick, her hand on his face caressing him as she tried to get herself together.

"I don't know what to say... Nick, thank you!" She said through tears as she hugged Nick with her other arm.

"You're welcome mami...¿està bien?" A tearful nod and a kiss from Olivia made him smile and he wiped her tears and kissed her cheek, holding her close.

"Mama..." Noah called from between them feeling squashed, making them break apart.

"We're sorry mano!" He took Noah in his arms and kissed him. "Better?" He asked playfully.

Noah gave a nod as the door finally opened and Trevor poked his head in.

"We all set?" asked.

"All set" Olivia said looking at Noah and Nick.

"Good, cuz Judge Linden is on her way up; are you sure you're okay?"

"Thank you, but I'm good."

"Okay; let's get this show on the road."

... ... ...

That night after their friends had gone, Olivia lay with Nick in her bed, Noah asleep and curled up between them. She was tired but still so excited from all that happened today as Nick lay rubbing her stomach.

"He's worn out" she whispered.

"He had a big day today."

"Thanks to you... I can't believe he's mine" she said.

"A little surreal?"

"A lot surreal... Did I tell you how glad I am that you're in our lives?"

"I could always stand hearing it again" he said smiling.

"I mean it; Noah and this baby are lucky to have you...I'm lucky to have you. You've been my rock and I...I don't know how to say thank you."

"Seeing you smiling is thanks enough" she looked at him unable to keep the smile off her face and the tears from her eyes and they kissed, careful of Noah.

"I love you, Nick. I just hope that I can live up to be the woman you can be proud of." He wiped her tears.

"You already do... You are everything to me Olivia and I do love you." He said and kissed her tears.

"Tell me again" she said. _I love you_ wasn't something she'd heard very much at all in her life, especially when it was constantly shown in everything he did, even the way he was looking at her now. He didn't want to be some kind of hero for loving her, he just wanted to love her and right now that was more than enough.

"That I love you? Because I do" She gave a small kiss to his lips. "...and this dude" they shared a laugh.

"I hate to, but this little dude has to go" she said caressing his face.

"Yeah, I'd better get him home." He said, getting up and putting his jacket on before he gathered Noah's things and put them in the diaper bag. She kissed Noah's sleeping face and hands before Nick picked him up, careful not to wake him.

"Call me when you get him down?" She asked as she held his little foot that was covered by his sock, his shoes having been long ago discarded.

"I will." He leaned in and kissed her as she cupped his face. He knew she'd be asleep when he called but he'd call anyway.

"Goodnight babe"

"See you tomorrow." He said and kissed her lips. "You and little bean get some sleep." and he kissed her forehead, lingering there for a long moment.

"I love you!" He said before he walked out the door with Noah.

She lay there smiling, thinking how fortunate she was. Just four short months ago she never would have imagined that her life would be changing for the better the way it has and she certainly never would have imagined that it would be because of Nick even though for years now, she's always wondered _what if? _But was afraid to take that chance; was still afraid after they took it but taking it opened a whole new world to her. Noah has someone he can look to as a father and she's having a baby, she thought as she rubbed her stomach lovingly. Something she's always wanted but never thought would happen and his father loves him and wants him just like he loves Noah...

"Just like he loves me." She whispered. She picked up Noah's toy car from the nightstand where he left it and stared at it for a moment, smiling as she caressed her bump.

"Maybe your daddy's right and you are a boy... We'll have another who'll like wacecars!" She laughed to herself and spun the wheels before she planted her hands around her swell, then closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep.

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**Thought I'd end this chapter on a sweet note. Maybe some drama in the next one, we'll see. Remember, reviews are fuel.**


	23. Stranger

**Thought I'd have a little fun with Nick and Liv in this chapter in addition to stirring up a little drama but don't worry, nothing that can't be fixed; I think. I'm kidding...am I? Anyway, I also want to say thank you to you guys for getting me to 400 reviews! You don't know what that means to me and I just gotta say what amazing and supportive readers you are. Thank you! Okay, enough sap, lol. On to the story, Dick Wolf owns the characters, enjoy!**

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Early Tuesday afternoon brought Rafael to the hospital to see Olivia. Since he was so busy in court on Monday and couldn't make it to the celebration in honor of Noah's adoption, he made his apologies by showing up the day after, present in hand for Noah.

"Knock knock!" He said upon entering. Olivia quickly quit scratching the second she heard him come in. "Up for visitors?"

"Hey you" Olivia said, surprised.

"I got this for Noah... I probably went a little overboard but" he said as he sat the giant tyrannosaurus Rex with the big red bow on its neck, on the sofa beside Olivia.

"He'll love this. Thank you." She said as he kissed her cheek and put his briefcase down on the sofa and took a seat in the armchair.

"You look good"

"You're an excellent liar, i feel crappy but thank you" she smiled and he gave a laugh.

"So, how does it feel? You're officially his mom now."

"I know...I still can't believe it, my little guy!"

"I take it you're happy?" He said smiling.

"Understatement!"

"So, where is he?"

"Dr's appointment, and then Chuck E Cheese. Nick should be here with him soon."

"Wait, no dentist?"

"What?"

"It's just, usually it's like pulling teeth to get you to talk about Nick."

"Very funny" she smiled "actually, um I wanted to tell you something about that"

"Oh yeah? Lemme guess, you two finally going public?"

"Uh, no. Actually it's..." She suddenly put a hand to her stomach, shutting her book with the other while taking a deep breath. "Would you help me up?" His hands were already pulling her to her feet as he spoke.

"You okay?" But instead of answering, she got to the bathroom as quick as she could and threw up twice consecutively.

A few minutes later she came out apologizing. "I'm sorry about that...morning sickness..." She said and got in the bed.

"Wait morning sickness means..." She looked at him with a huge grin on her face as it sunk in for him. "...Nick's?" She nodded.

"Surprise!"

"Surpri... Holy shit!"

* * *

After almost two weeks in the hospital, that Friday Olivia was released and was so thankful to be back with her own home and back with her son. When Nick brought her there, although she was supposed to be resting and taking it easy, she held Noah, playing with him until he fell asleep and only then did she allow Nick to put him in his crib. After putting him down, Nick made his way back to the living room where Olivia was propped up on the couch, a blanket across her legs and he sat behind her, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her face as she smiled.

"Happy to be home?"

"Happy to be out of that hospital and here with you and Noah!" He took her hand and kissed it.

"Everything okay?"

"I'm fine, just a little pain but it's tolerable. I just need to be right here in your arms!" He wrapped her in his arms, suddenly growing quiet.

"What?" She asked quietly.

"I've just been realizing how lucky I am...how lucky we are; you came through the worst and you're here." She reached back to cup his face and turned to kiss him. Taking a long pause before she spoke, the silence between them a solemn one.

"I thought I wouldn't see you or Noah again, then when I woke up and knew I was alive all I could think about was this baby; I thought I'd lost it... I'd never been happier to be wrong" he put his arms around her and held her tight, she relaxing into the embrace.

"I worry so much"

"I know... I do too. We just have to trust that..."

"You'll be safe..." He had a sad look about him and kissed her hand. "I love you, and if anything ever...what if next time...?"

"Baby don't"

"But this..."

"...was something that could have happened to any of us but I'm still here, and I promise you I'm not going anywhere. Me and the bean are here to stay!"

"I'm gonna hold you to that!" He promised.

"I'm counting on it." she said and caught his lips in a kiss, they carried on for a moment as she began scratching her breasts but they continued kissing until the itching became too much and she stopped.

"What's wrong?"

"Totally spoiling the moment but my nipples are itching like crazy…"She said scratching. "and did I say that out loud?"

"Yes you did, and it's okay, I want us to talk like this- don't do that!" He took her hands and began rubbing her breasts through her t shirt to relieve the itch.

"Let's see how much you enjoy it when I'm talking hemorrhoids soon...ooh that feels good, a little rougher"

"What are you... Hemorrhoids?"

"Still want in?" She grinned, already aroused.

"I can handle it"

Well, a lot of pregnant women get them; oh god, thank you baby." she said as he continued. "weren't you paying attention when Maria was pregnant?"

"Overseas. Zara was almost 2 months old the first time I held her"

"You never told me that"

"Yeah. I mean it was a long time ago but I still wish I'd been there... But, I am gonna be here for this little bean from the very second he takes his first breath."

"Or she"

"Or she." He laughed. "I'm so blessed!" He said as he kissed her cheek.

"How about we talk about the baby later?" She said feeling extremely aroused. "Know what I want right now?"

"What?"

"You" she said turning towards him.

"Well you got me"

"That's good to know but I mean now. I have been in that hospital this past week, ridiculously horny" she kissed him. "and your hands...I need you in me!" As they kissed Nick could feel himself also growing hard at her words, her kiss, her touch. It had been 2 weeks since they'd made love but while he was horny as all hell, he didn't want to rush into anything out of fear of causing her pain or discomfort. Finally he forced himself to think straight and stop.

"Liv wait- we can't do this"

"Why?" She said, kissing him.

"You just got out of the hospital..."

"And you wouldn't believe how ready I am! Come on baby, make love to me!" She said with his earlobe in her mouth and reaching for the hem of his shirt, beginning to lift it over his head.

"Oh...god! Liv...Liv, mami...slow down!" He was losing himself in her kisses, they felt so good. And when she got his shirt off and began planting kisses to his nipples, pinching them.

"Ohhh god..." He moaned. Olivia sat up and kissed his lips, biting the bottom one before she looked at him, her full breasts were stretching against her t shirt, her nipples already at attention from Nick rubbing them. He laid her down, climbing over her, careful of her stomach, and reached out to squeeze her breasts, she seethed and moaned at the feeling, biting her lip. Being four months pregnant had her nipples extremely sensitive and she went wild.

"Don't stop!" She begged as he lifted her t shirt, his mouth quickly attaching to one and sucking. Suddenly he stopped just as his hands were going in her pants.

"We can't do this" he said getting up from the couch in a hurry, totally flustered.

"You're kidding right?" she was still on her back with her shirt up over her breasts.

"I'm...we have to stop, the doctors said no sex" He reached over and grabbed his shirt, quickly putting it back on.

"I feel fine." She sat up, pulling her shirt down.

"Is it hot in here?" He cried, his hard on very obvious through his jeans.

"It could be If you..."

"No, no no." He stated from the stool on which he sat "I'll be fine, you...stay there"

"Nick" she said with a laugh "come on, come sit down over here I promise I'll behave"

"You know what, I'm gonna go get you some uh- some moisturizing cream for your... Yeah."

"Baby..."

"Trust me, the walk will do a world of good" he said as he zipped his jeans.

"Not me!

"I meant me but... Need anything?"

"Yes, but you won't give it to me" she smiled. "Make it chocolate" she said.

"Chocolate and moisturizing cream coming up! You'll be okay?"

"I'll be fine" she said, pouting. "Just hurry back" they kissed, he grabbed his jacket and was out the door.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Olivia had come from her bathroom after taking a shower after her encounter with Nick had left her in need of one. Slowly dressing in pajamas with a long sleeved shirt and putting her hair in a ponytail and her glasses on, she went in to check on Noah watching him sleep peacefully in his crib. She bent down, which was still quite painful and gave him a quick kiss before straightening up just as quickly and having gotten an ache in her side. She stepped out of the room, quickly closing the door before leaning on it with a hand up high on her side and breathing heavily.

"Bad choice" she said to herself as the pain slowly dissipated and her breathing became more steady. She made her way to one of the stools at the counter and sat down, rubbing her small bump.

"I'm sorry little one, I hope you didn't feel that." She lovingly held her bump, though barely there. "God, I can't wait to meet you; I can't wait to find out what you are...you kind of refused to let your daddy and me know. Maybe next time you could turn around - or don't; as long as you stay safe in there until October...after your brother's birthday!" She smiled, suddenly the doorbell rang.

"Looks like daddy forgot his key" she hopped down off the stool and made her way to the door scratching her left boob. "Did you find the cre... Brian?" She uttered, shocked.

"Hey Liv" he smiled. "It's been a while."

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**So what does he want. Tune in next time. And if you love me, I would totally appreciate you leaving a review here to let me know your thoughts. **


	24. Reminiscing

**So in this chapter I'm switching up the details of Olivia and Brian's breakup, instead of a year it happened two years ago. Other than that, things are the same. Dick Wolf owns, enjoy!**

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"What are you doing here?"

"I came..." He kissed her cheek "Because I heard about your accident and I wanted to see how you were." He handed her the flowers in his hand.

"Not to be 'that' girl but you're about 2 weeks late." She said with a grin, sniffing the flowers.

"Yeah I uh...undercover...I just got back and heard; I wanted to see if you were okay." He said. "Can I - can I come in?"

"Yeah, come on in" she motioned and he made his way inside. As she went into the kitchen in search of a vase, he took a seat at the counter.

"The flowers are beautiful, thank you!" She said with her back to him.

"You're welcome; gotta say these two years have been good to you. You look good. What'd you get implants after the breakup, they look fantastic." He said, coming up behind her and putting his hands almost on her waist but she shimmied away before he could land.

"Brian…"

"I'm sorry; you know I always did have trouble resisting you, and the boobs do look great!" he said, she rolled her eyes, smiling. "So this place; it looks different. What's with all the toys?" He asked as she filled the vase she located and brought it over to the counter.

"What's with the toys is that I have a son now!" She said, unwrapping the flowers and placing them in the water. Now it was Brian's turn to look shocked just as Noah began stirring.

"A son?!"

"Yeah, a son. Excuse me." She said and went to Noah's room while Brian sat rubbing his face trying to absorb her news. He turned his head and looked around the apartment suddenly and was greeted by pictures of Noah. He looked just like Olivia and Brian wanted to faint.

"Holy shit! How old is this kid?"

...

"Hey there" Olivia sang as she approached the crib and scooped him up in her arms before he could start to fuss. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Nap mama!" He said in a quiet whisper and placed his head on her shoulder while she rocked him.

"Not up for talking much?" She laughed quietly and kissed him sweetly. "How about we get your diaper changed, sound good?"

"Good"

...

Another couple of minutes in which Brian was panicking to 'the point of almost running three times' passed before Olivia came from the back with Noah on her hip and walked into the kitchen.

"Sorry about that" She apologized. Brian began to sweat upon seeing the baby up close.

_My god he really...is this my kid? _He wondered "No" he cleared his throat "It's okay..."

"Noah, can you say hi to mama's friend?" She said to Noah. He simply turned his head, hiding in her neck. "No hello?"

"Ba-ba?" He asked in his tiny little voice.

"Is he mine?" Brian blurted out. Olivia looked at him with disbelief. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that came out wrong...is he?"

"Really Brian?" She said as she turned to get Noah's bottle from the refrigerator. "What gave you that idea!"

"I just...he looks just like you and I just assumed..."

"You assumed wrong, I ad..."

"Liv come on, I'm not dumb okay? I can count. That kids what, a year and a half?"

"He's exactly a year and a half but ."

"Right, so either he's mine or you were cheating on me, which is it?"

"Wow, the first time I see you in two years and you accuse me of cheating?"

"I have to know"

"Do you really think I'd sink that low? It was hell for me to even have sex with you after Lew... I wouldn't do that; Noah's a..."

"Look, if he's mine then we'll deal with it" she had a look on her face and let it linger for a moment, deciding that he wasn't listening and she just wanted this conversation over.

"You know what Brian? I think you should leave now!" She went to the door to open it, him feeling foolish, picked up his face and went towards it.

"Maybe I could call you sometime?"

"Are you ki... No. Thanks for being concerned but I'm good!"

"Olivia, if he's my son..."

Just then, Nick made his way to the apartment, removing his iPhone buds from his ear. "Hey babe, I got your moistu- Cassidy?" He asked as he stepped in.

"He was just leaving" Olivia volunteered as Nick eyeballed Brian.

"Good, you shouldn't be on your feet." He got close and kissed her, speaking near a whisper. "You okay? Come here mano." He said, taking Noah in his arms while Brian stood, speechless.

"I'm fine" she said. He kissed her head and stood right beside her, holding Noah and still looking at Brian. He could tell that Olivia was tense and had to hold himself back from intervening and slapping Brian, and inadvertently tightened his grip on her.

"Amaro...?" He said shaking his head. "Are you kidding me?" Nick stepped forward about to speak when Olivia placed a hand to his chest lovingly, speaking calmly.

"Baby..." She said and shook her head.

"Baby?" Brian mocked. "You two deserve each other!" He said and walked off. Nick stood staring at the door as she leaned against him.

"What the hell is his problem?" Nick said, seething but trying to calm himself. He rocked Noah, and took a deep breath.

"I... He heard about the shooting and came by. I didn't..."

"It's okay..." He said and kissed her, feeling a lot calmer. "He didn't upset you did he?" He asked, rubbing her back.

"Not much; stop worrying. Right Noah?" she said, Noah immediately perked at hearing his name.

"ie" he smiled, sitting up the bottle hanging precariously from his mouth.

"Hi sweetie" she smiled forgetting all about Brian, Noah had that effect on her and right now she was thankful for it as she felt her anger slipping away. "Finally awake?" They sat on the couch as she took the shopping bag from Nick.

"Wate" He said and curled against Nick's chest again, drinking his bottle. She laughed as she ruffled his hair and Nick kissed his head.

"Thank you for the moisturizer... And the chocolates." She took the chocolates from the bag and opened them, biting into one.

"You don't have to thank me, I like doing things for you"

"Did I ever tell you how sweet you are?"

"Not today" He smiled, she put the candy in her mouth and kissed him slow and sensual, he used his tongue to steal the chocolate from her mouth while he kissed her, giving her more of the kiss after he took it.

"If that kiss wasn't so good, I'd be really pissed at you for taking my chocolate" she said to him with a seductive smile.

"Almost tastes as good as you do!" And he kissed her again.

"And on that note, we should stop; unless you wanna..."

"Liv, you know I wanna, but..." He said as he held her close

""...but the doctor said..." How about we forget what the doctor said and just do! You do realize that you're leaving on Sunday, for a whole week?"

"Don't remind me!" She sighed and kissed him, suddenly getting up with the cream.

"Where you going?"

"I thought I'd go in the bedroom and try this out; you know, slather it all over my..." She was careful of Noah listening. "...Lights. I wish I had somebody to help me put it on!" She smiled coquettishly and walked off towards her bedroom, unbuttoning her shirt while she watched him.

Nick sat there dazed, his mind going a mile a minute and after she disappeared he looked down at Noah who had gone back to sleep and he quickly got up and put him in the playpen and covered him, taking the bottle to the kitchen. There it was again, that feeling that only Olivia could inspire and only Olivia could ease...god the affect she had on him!

He could remember the years before, 3 and a half long years where he'd sit just thinking about her; every time she'd walk into a room...and when he'd figured out that he loved her six months in, suddenly no one else would do no matter how much he tried. Now she was his and offering herself to him and he had to refuse because of doctor's orders.

"Jesucristo!" He uttered and blew out a deep breath then took several more before he stood up straight just as his phone began ringing. "Yeah, Amaro… Dr. Schuller thank you for calling me back."

...

Inside the bedroom...

"No, just...you know what, maybe I should come down and..." Olivia started but Fin cut her right off.

"Nice try. You're on leave _at least _another week."

"Fin, I'm fine. I could just-" she said putting the lid in the moisturizing cream.

"Or you could just take it easy and relax. I got this baby girl." She sighed, for all the complaining she did lately, she didn't know what she would do without Fin, he truly was her right hand.

"Okay but you and Rollins, Carisi..."

"Is too green; I got it" She had her hands on her shirt buttons, about to close her top when Nick entered the room and just stood there in the doorway staring at her.

"Uh Fin, I'll call you back...okay." She looked up at Nick from where she sat on the bed. "Where's Noah?"

"I guess he decided to get the rest of his nap out. Guess who I just got off the phone with?" He said, approaching the bed. Olivia got up and walked to the dresser to place the cream on it and turned back around to find Nick right on her and she jumped and laughed as he took her in his arms and she threw her arms around him.

"Jesus Nick, you scared the shit outta me!"

"I'm sorry..." He said and kissed her "but you'll be very happy when you hear this..."

...

Minutes later her pants were off, her shirt was gone and his mouth was hot and fast, everywhere and she melted into the kisses, their tongues dancing as their bodies came close, her nipples brushing against his chest and his arms around her, lying her down, careful of her small bump and he stopped to lovingly caress it.

"I hope you're sleeping!" He whispered to her stomach.

"I don't think he or she has working ears yet, now come here!" She laughed as they started kissing again then dipped his head and planted kisses to her breasts before took her nipple in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and teeth. "Keep going!" She moaned. Nick stopped.

"Hmmm, tasty lotion!"

"Nick, I'm gonna go crazy!" Olivia grabbed his head and pushed it down to her breast, he quickly gave the other one the same attention as the first then worked his way back up to her mouth, going for a long, sensual kiss before he plunged his hand between her thighs, his fingers brushing her clit as he kissed her.

"Oh god, please!" She begged, bucking her hips to get more of him. He kissed his way down to her stomach, then made his way between her legs, kissing her inner thighs before he spread her even wider and put his mouth on her. At that moment, she didn't care that they couldn't go all the way because right now felt too good and she moaned as he licked her all around her clit before drawing it into his mouth, sucking her, coaxing her while he ate her and she felt herself coming undone and after making her come with his mouth she reciprocated, swallowing him down before kissing and touching brought him to another hard on and she rode him, her slit against his shaft until they came together and she drifted off to sleep wrapped in his arms.

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Saturday came and Olivia was so sick that she couldn't get out of bed unless it was to vomit and even that proved trying. Nick was worried after they'd spent yesterday afternoon making love but Olivia assured him that it was just morning sickness though she'd never been that sick before. Nick took care of Noah, that allowed her to stay in bed until she felt better which finally came around 1 when the symptoms lessened and disappeared. Feeling much better, she got up and got dressed, making her way into the kitchen after coming from Noah's room to peek in on his sleeping form and smother him with kisses.

"Hey." She greeted as she walked in and sat down at the counter. Nick quickly turned around from where he was at the refridgerator.

"Hey, feeling better?"

"Much better, thank you."

"That's good, you hungry?"

"Not really."

"How about a little something?"

"Maybe later" She said and looked around the room. "Does it bother you that Brian used to live here?"

"Where'd that come from?"

"I don't know, it's been on my mind since yesterday... I got up to pee last night and I came into the kitchen for a glass of water; sorta just hit me in the face."

"I don't; necessarily think about it per se" he lied, fiddling with the cap on his water.

"Thanks" she said with a smile as she took his hand. "now how about you tell me the truth?"

"Look, I don't wanna be..."

"The jealous boyfriend" The both of them laughed as she reached for a banana, peeling it slowly and took a bite.

"Yeah. Look I know that I'm not the best person, I have...anger issues occasionally" he watched her as she ate, trying not to appear distracted but was so turned on at seeing her eat that banana.

"Yes, you do...but that's not the issue"

"Alright, yes. I... Liv I don't want to be the one who... But it bothers me. We're starting a new life, a new relationship; Noah...this baby and every time I walk through that door I'm faced with him. It's his furniture and his house; I feel like I'm... I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I wanted you to be honest and the truth is, that's what I realized last night, I don't know why it took me so long to see it. I guess coming and going these last two years I was just hooking up and now..."

"Liv, I know you love me and I want what we have to be forever, hell as far as I'm concerned it is; I wanna be the last man you love but it's not..."

"No Nick, I um, I was up thinking and you're absolutely right, I just adopted Noah and then there's this little miracle" she said with her hand on her stomach. "I think it's time to make a fresh start; someplace."

"I can help you start looking at places if you want"

"Actually" She broke off a piece and put it in his mouth to let him take a bite. "I think I have the perfect place." She said and ate the remaining piece.

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**See you guys next time. Reviews are appreciated.**


	25. Together

**I notice that some- a lot of you didn't get the update to the last chapter. Blame ff, there's always something wrong. I don't know why I keep posting here at this point, I might just eventually defect to wattpad. In the meantime here is chapter 25 and I hope this one reaches you all, if not, fuck it, I'm leaving! Just kidding but this site drives me there sometimes. Dick Wolf owns, I just rent. Enjoy!**

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"You wanna move _here_?" Nick said of the house which they were now standing in.

"You don't like it?" Olivia questioned.

"I do it's just...babe this is a little out of our price range"

"I knew you'd say that but it's already paid for"

"Mind if I ask by who?"

"My grandparents...they um, they died when I was 19 and they left it to me in their will but by then I was away at college and then grad school and by the time I finished, well, it was too big for me to live in by myself and I didn't want to rent it out so I've kind of just kept it."

"Wow, all these years?"

"Go figure... I've renovated it slowly, replaced most of the furniture over the years. Just trying to decide what to do with it."

"Dada, down" Noah said to Nick, leaving he and Olivia both stunned. "Pease" he smiled sweetly. Nick let him down still in shock and when Noah took off across the room...

"Did he just..."

"Called you "Dada"" Olivia uttered with tears in her eyes. "I don't...I mean he never..."

"Liv, breathe" he said laughing and rubbing her back with tears in his own eyes. "Just breathe" he sat her down on the sofa.

"This is all happening so fast...I don't know if I'm ready...I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"You did, but hey, I'm here with you, you don't have to be scared" he smiled.

"Easy for you to say... Nick, I'm in territory I've never...I'm so afraid that any minute now I'm gonna wake up and it'll all just disappear" she said as she rubbed her stomach and tears streamed her face. "...that it'll all disappear for Noah; he loves you." Noah ran over to her and tapped her leg then Nick's, uttering something that neither one of them understood but agreed to before he struggled to climb up with Nick's assistance and wedged himself in between them laying against Olivia's breast.

"I think he's comfortable there" Nick joked.

"I think so!" Olivia managed to laugh as she ran her fingers through his hair. Nick watched them for a moment, Noah now switching sides to put his head in Nick's lap and looked up at him.

"...and I love this little guy so much..."

"ie"

"Hi there" Nick said looking down at him and smiling before he looked back up at Olivia "He's never gonna have to worry about it disappearing, you're never gonna have to worry about it disappearing but; if it's too soon for you we could always..." She looked at him for a moment then Noah and shook her head.

"You've proven yourself without me even asking you to." She said as Noah climbed on Nick and settled back on his lap. "in spite of these insecurities screaming at me to get out of this and go it alone. Even through the hard parts...even when I almost died. You know when I woke up all I wanted was you? I've never...I've never loved a man so deeply."

"And I'm yours" he said and kissed her lips as he caressed her face. "I'm yours..." She cried while they kissed for a long moment as Noah lay in Nick's lap looking up at them.

"Yaaay!" He said loudly clapping his hands and they broke apart, startled.

"This kid!" Olivia said lifting him onto her lap as she laughed.

"Our kid." Nick said as he rustled Noah's hair and tickled him while Noah laughed.

"Mama wacecaw" he said and ran off again.

"Our kid" she said with a smile as she touched his face. They both turned to keep an eye on Noah as they sat. "What would you say to moving in with me if I were to ask...hypothetically?"

"I'd ask if you were sure...hypothetically"

"Well, hypothetically no...but I do know that I love you, so much, and our son loves you so much." Tears fell from his eyes "and I want nothing more than to wake up to you every day and say goodnight with you next to me and our little miracle; I wanna make this home." She said with tears in her eyes.

"Ome, ome, ome" They heard Noah mutter from behind the sofa.

"Yeah!" Nick said, full of tears as well.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" Noah said.

"Let's make this home." He agreed.

* * *

Sunday came and Nick went to DC for the week. It was hard for him to leave after what they had gone through in the last two weeks but they both knew that the FBI had been more than generous in allowing him the time they did considering that because they weren't married, Olivia technically wasn't family. It was hard adjusting without Nick there for a few days but she had Lucy to help her a few hours each day and for that she was thankful.

Olivia spent her days studying for her Lieutenants exam and packing up the lighter things when she got a moment. She wasn't taking most of the furniture with her so that left a lot that thank god wouldn't need to be moved but there still was a lot.

Every day, Zara would call to talk to her and Noah and check on the baby's progress. She was so excited about having Noah for a brother and even more excited about the baby. She'd been an only child for so long and dreamt of having siblings and since Maria wasn't looking to have more, she was thankful that her dad came through. Now she had a little brother and she hoped for a sister.

"When do you and Daddy find out what you're having?"

"Well, we had a chance two weeks ago but the baby wouldn't turn around so we could see."

"Hey, bring your stomach here" Zara said, making Olivia laugh.

"What?"

"Your stomach. Please." Olivia reached for the iPad and held it to her stomach as asked. "Hi baby, it's your big sister, Zara. When Daddy and Olivia go back to see the doctor, I want you to turn around and smile so we can see what you are, okay? I love you!" She gave a kiss to Olivia's stomach.

"That was sweet Zara, thank you."

"You're welcome. Well I have to go and do my homework before piano class. Bye Noah!"

"Byebye Za"

"Bye Olivia!"

"Bye sweetie, I'll talk to you tomorrow, say hi to your mom for me!" And she ended the call just as the doorbell rang and she headed to answer it.

"Doe mama" Noah said as he put down his book and followed Olivia to the door, running to keep up with her.

"I got it baby..." She said as she opened it. "Trevor, thanks for coming by, I didn't know if you'd gotten my message."

"I did, hey Noah!" The toddler looked at him quietly from behind Olivia's legs then reached for her to pick him up.

"Could you..." She gestured with her hands that she needed help lifting Noah.

"Yeah. Come here little guy" he said before scooping Noah up and placing him in Olivia's arms where he immediately lay on her shoulder.

"Thank you, still a bit painful for me to bend." She said.

"No problem. I see he's not very talkative. He looks good, you're taking great care of him." he said as he smiled.

"Thank you, not easy with this one on the way but I couldn't imagine it any different." She said smiling with her hand on her tiny belly.

"Motherhood and pregnancy suits you...You're absolutely glowing." He said with a smile that garnered one from her. "you doing okay after the hospital?"

"Yeah, a little pain now and again but I'm well. Can I get you anything?"

"No, and that's great to hear... Not that you're in pain, I meant the part about doing well..." There was a look on her face and she gave a laugh to ease the tension. "Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you, things got a little hectic. But I'm here and I'm at your service. What can I do for you?" He asked as he took a seat on the couch. She sat beside him with Noah on her hip.

"I was wondering... The process for Nick to legally adopt Noah as his father, is it a long one, I mean like is it a year like I waited?"

"No, uh basically consists of a background check, a home study and some other legal maneuvers- basically there's not a question of the state looking out to make sure that he's in good hands. That's your job now. You've given this thought?"

"I have. Noah already loves him like a father and Nick has been here for him, loving him since I brought him home. We're having this baby together and I think..."

"Got it. I'll get the process started and I'll be in touch."

"That's it?"

"Unless you have more..."

"Actually yes...uh, we're gonna be moving in together. I hope that isn't..."

"Nick's what, FBI now? He has an employment history of 8 years with the NYPD and the army before that; his background check is practically done so don't worry."

"I'll email you the new address."

"Sounds good. Again, congratulations and I will call you." He kissed her cheek. "See you later Noah"

"Bye bye" Noah said while waving as Trevor left.

"Okay kiddo, what do you say we get dinner ready?"

"Cookie?"

"I was thinking something a bit healthier!"

"Yay, cookie!"

... ... ...

Outside her door, Trevor stood there for a moment wanting to say something, wanting to knock on the door, no, break it down and take her in his arms, kiss her so passionately like they had done so many times before...

"But that was then Trevor. Should've spoken up when you had the chance!" He looked at the door and walked away.

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**Only about 5 more chapters left to this. In the meantime I hope you'll be inspired to write a review. Until next time!**


	26. Revisit

**This story seems to be pouring out of me so that means y'all get another chapter. Folks been asking about dickhead- I mean Brian, and what he's up to so I brought him back for this chapter. Let's find out, shall we? **

Special thanks to Linda Dillbeck, she's one of my guest readers and I wish you had an account so I could message you back. Thank you for every one of your awesome reviews, they are enjoyed and I hope to see more. Now, onto our story!

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Another week went by and Olivia went back to work much to Noah's objections, and then there was Nick who wasn't too thrilled about it but he understood even though he hated it. Her first day back and he insisted on driving to work with her to make sure it was "safe". And the response he got?

"Nick, I appreciate this, I do but don't you think you're being too overprotective?" She asked as they sat in the car, out in front of the precinct.

"No, and if I had my way I'd assign you personal detail- are you sure you're up to this cuz I can drive you back ho..."

"Nick stop." She semi screamed. She loved that he cared like he did, but this was too much. "Okay, I'm fine, really I am and the baby is fine" she said as she rubbed her belly. He added his hand and palmed it, nodding.

"I promise, I'll be careful; hell I'm on desk duty for the next 5 months! I'll be fine; besides, Fin is there, he'll make sure of it."

"Oh I know he will" He said just as Fin, unbeknownst to her, stepped out of the building and approached the car knocking on the window and waving with a smile on his face.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked in all seriousness as he rolled down the windows.

"Nope. Good lookin out man!"

"No problem." Fin said then addressed Liv. "You ready?" She sat for a moment, looking at the both of them with a sour face, and finally got out of the car, not giving Nick a kiss and glaring at Fin as she walked inside.

... ... ...

Once inside, she got off the elevators and in the squad room and was greeted by the detectives and unis who were glad to have her back and gave applause and _welcome backs _as she walked in, immediately softening her mood.

"Thank you everyone. It's been a long month and I've had a lot of time to recover but we have work to do so let's get to it." She said and started to walk in her office but turned around. "And thank you all for the cards and flowers and well wishes. They were appreciated." And she disappeared inside and shut the door.

Carisi turned to Amanda and Johnson from where they were gathered at the coffee machine.

"Still no announcement; what is she waitin for, her water to break?" He said.

"Maybe she lost it; you know, from the shooting? And she doesn't want to talk about it" Johnson speculated.

"Nah, have you seen the woman's boobs?" Enriquez joined the conversation. "There's definitely a baby in there."

"Plus she's showin" Carisi said. Enriquez and Rollins looked back at him and rolled their eyes, making sounds of disgust as they walked away.

"What? What'd I say?"

... ... ...

In Liv's office she was at her desk doing work on her computer while slowly eating saltines that still had her nauseous. She had taken a bite when Fin knocked on her office door.

"Come in" she said, putting the cracker down.

"Still mad?" He said as he entered and shut the door. She looked at him and rolled her eyes.

"If I wasn't so nauseous..."

"I know. But I'm only doin it for you and the baby's safety." He took a seat in front of her desk. "Still with the morning sickness? I thought you'd be done by now."

"You and me both" she took a small bite out of the cracker and choked it down then threw the cracker in the garbage. "I can't eat this!"

"Did you call your OB?"

"Nick did and we went in. She said that unfortunately some women get morning sickness throughout their pregnancies...just my luck that I would be a candidate."

"I'm sorry"

"It's good, as long as the baby is healthy, I don't really mind." She said as she rubbed her stomach then just as quickly she ran from the office, with her hand over her mouth. Out in the squad room, Amanda, Carisi and the other detectives looked on as she ran past in a blur and Amanda got up to follow her after a moment.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Amanda asked from where she stood outside the stall minutes later.

"Yeah, I'm fine" Olivia said as she came out holding her side. Amanda watched her as she went to the sink.

"Olivia; you're..." She spit her water out and straightened up as much as she could.

"It's okay Rollins. I get a little pain when I... It'll pass." She said and leaned on the counter. "I'll be out in a minute" Amanda stared for a moment then nodded and left as Olivia let out a deep breath.

... ... ...

Minutes later in the squad room, Olivia was returning to her office from the bathroom when suddenly everyone pretended to go back to work as she passed. She got into her office and was about to shut the door when she heard whispers and decided that now was the time. She took a deep breath and walked out of her office, standing by the door but loud enough so everyone heard her.

"Everyone" they all turned around in their respective seats and places where they were standing and looked at her. She hadn't counted on getting everyone's attention so fast and paused, clearing her throat.

"Yeah boss?" Carisi asked.

"Uh, I just wanted to; I just...uh, so everyone can stop guessing- I'm- pregnant. Almost 5 months... I'm not discussing any details...yeah, so..." And she walked into her office and shut the door.

... ... ...

"Okay, Rollins you take Carisi and interview the vic." Olivia said fanning herself. She had already taken her jacket off in her office a while ago and was still hot in spite of the air conditioning that cooled the place.

"Yes ma'am...are you alright?" Amanda asked.

"My hormones, no biggie." She said fanning herself. "...better yet, take Phillips. Our vic may be uneasy around Carisi, two women will put her at ease. Carisi, you go with Fin. Interview the husband."

"You got it boss." They all left the squad room together and Liv looked at her watch before she went to grab a donut, she walked into her office eating and shut the door. She went to the couch where she was working on some papers and sat down, taking another bite from her donut and picking up her cell phone and dialing. The phone rang on the other end until the voicemail picked up.

_Hey it's Nick, leave a message._

"Hey it's me. I don't know why I'm calling in the middle of the day...nothing's wrong so you don't have to call me back I just... We left things- I left things a little angry this morning and I've had a chance to cool down; I miss you. So when you get a minute... Okay." And she hung up, sitting back on the couch and rubbing her belly.

"You okay in there?" She said to the baby when suddenly it kicked for the first time. She was so shocked that her mouth dropped open as her other hand flew to her belly and tears filled her eyes that started to drop just as her office door opened and Nick walked in carrying lunch, something she didn't even notice.

"Babe?" He called as he got closer to her. When he noticed that she was crying he immediately put down the bag he was carrying and rushed to her side, kneeling in front of her. "Liv, what's wrong?"

"Nothing...I mean something... Nick, the baby just kicked!" She exclaimed, touching her stomach where she felt it, his hands joining hers.

"What?" He said trying to feel it.

"There it goes again!"

"Babe, did you feel that?" Tears were now in his eyes as he lovingly held her belly.

"It's kind of 'in' me so..." They shared a laugh as he wiped her eyes with his right hand and she did the same to him. "Wow...this is really happening" he gave a sweet kiss to her lips.

"Wait, what are you doing here?" She wondered, suddenly coming back to her senses and realizing that the blinds were open behind her.

"I came to have lunch with you." He got up off the floor and sat on the couch as she shut the blinds, thankful that no one had seen them.

"I sorta just called you."

"I saw as I was getting off the elevator."

"So you didn't check your message?" She said as she locked the door and further drew the blinds that looked out upon the squad room.

"Not yet" he smiled as she sat down on his lap. "Did you leave me a hot message?"

"You jerk" she laughed "I was apologizing for this morning" she said as she put her arms around him.

"You, apologizing?" He joked.

"Haha! Stop teasing, I'm being serious... I walked away from you this morning and I'm sorry."

"I wasn't exactly not at fault"

"No, you weren't, but I behaved childishly and I'd like to say it won't happen again but these hormones...who knows."

"How about we just say... no hard feelings until after the baby is born?"

"You sure you wanna do that? Just last week you were in DC and wanted to take your head off because my favorite Chinese place was closed at 2AM, this could get ugly I'm only 4 months in"

"I can handle it..." He said trying to control his laughter "anything for you"

"Anything...?" She said, nuzzling against him with a big smile on her face.

"Just name it"

"Well...the doctors said it's safe if we go all the way now..."

"And you were thinking?"

"That I'm horny..." He smiled as he pulled her close to kiss him and after a moment she straddled his lap as he grabbed her ass when suddenly there was a knock at the door."

"Oh come on...!" She said, resting her head in the crook of his neck. He let out a frustrated growl as she got up and fixed her clothes before she went to open the door, Nick picked up her half eaten donut from the table and began eating it, not knowing why since he doesn't like sweets but enjoying it all the same.

"Can I help you?" Olivia asked the gentleman who stood outside her office.

"Sergeant Benson?"

"Yes"

"You been served. Have a nice rest if your day!" He said and walked off. Olivia stood there for a moment dumfounded.

"Thanks!" She said sarcastically then shut the door, practically slamming it and took the paper from the envelope as she walked further into the office.

"You okay!" Nick asked, getting up from the couch and making his way to the desk where Olivia stood rubbing her belly and she laughed at what was in the papers.

"is he kidding me?"

"Babe?"

"He's suing for joint custody, what the hell is he on?"

"Joint custody of what? Who?" He asked.

"Brian... He wants custody of Noah."

"You're kidding me" he took the papers and a laugh escaped him. "Didn't you tell him?"

"I tried but between commenting on my boobs and then getting upset when he saw you..."

"What an ass- wait, he commented on your boobs?"

"I think you're missing the point..."

"Yeah, you're right...so what'd he say?"

"Nick..."

"Okay...but I get to set stupid straight!"

"Only if you promise that you won't pull a gun on him" She said just as his phone began ringing.

"It was one time!" He said before answering. "Yeah, Amaro... What, now?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, alright. I'll be there in a half hour." He said and hung up.

"Gotta go?"

"I'm sorry mami. But we'll continue this at home"

"I love it when you say that" she said before they kissed.

"I'll call you when I can, enjoy lunch." He kissed her tummy. "Bye bean!" She smiled as he kissed her again then walked out the door.

* * *

On his way out of the building, Nick was dialing Brian on his cell phone.

"What the hell do you want Ricardo?" Brian answered.

"Hello to you too! Look, I'm not gonna bore you with the small talk" he said as he got in his car.

"Funny, I didn't think you knew anything else!"

"That's funny. But in all seriousness, I want you to stop harassing Liv, your little games aren't going to work okay, she's happy. She has the life you didn't want so why don't you back off?!"

"I'd love to but you know, her having my kid that she never told me about..."

"That's because he's not your kid!"

"What?"

"That's right, Noah is adopted so please, do yourself a favor and shove your custody suit - it's invalid!"

"Nah, Liv woulda told me"

"She would've if you would've shut up long enough to listen. But hey call her if you don't believe me and then do _me _a favor and lose her number."

"To hell with you Amaro!"

"Thanks; oh and her boobs, in case you're wondering, she's carrying my baby. So thank you so much for not wanting that family with her... Dick!" He hung up the phone and started his car feeling happy with himself and drove off. While at Brian's he sat fuming.

"Son of a bitch!" He said and threw a magazine across the room.

* * *

Later that day at the sixteenth, Liv sat in her office finishing up a conference call with Chief Dodds and Commissioner Reagan while out in the squad room, Brian walked in.

"Brian, hey. Long time no see." Amanda said.

"Hey. Liv in?"

"She's on a conference call. You look well"

"Thanks, so do you." The door opened and Olivia came out of her office.

"Hey Carisi, how we doing with the Russell case?" She asked with her hand on the top of her swell, experiencing brutal heartburn from lunch and Brian didn't miss the way she held her very pronounced stomach.

"I was just headin down to Barba's office, you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Amanda, go with... Does anybody have tums?" She yelled.

"On it" Amanda responded. "Nice seein you again Brian." She told him before she and Carisi left and Jones came running.

"I do" she said and handed them to Olivia who shook out a few into her hand.

"Thank you." She said graciously as she handed them back then turned to Brian. "Brian, what?!" She barked rubbing her belly. After a long day at the precinct of dealing with perps, paperwork and Dodds all day her first day back and she was not in the mood for anymore of Brian's antics.

"Your office please" he said without giving her a chance to respond, pissed off, she followed popping a handful of tums into her mouth.

"What is it?"

"_What is it? _You could have bothered telling me that the kid's adopted!"

"Well if you had let me get a word in..."

"I think you could have gotten that in"

"No Brian, I couldn't. Trust me, I tried four times and then once Nick came through the door..."

"Yeah, speaking of...when were you gonna tell me about his... I can't even say it!"

"His baby? Brian again, you were..."

"I get it Liv, just tell me something; when we were still together did you cheat on me with him? I mean I wasn't always around when he was staying on our couch"

"You are a piece of work you know that? I told you before I didn't cheat and still here you are with the exact same accu-"

"Amaro?"

"Yes, Amaro. Unlike you were, he's supportive and wants what I want."

"Supportive? I supported you plenty after Lewis!"

"No, you felt sorry for me and nagged me for details of what happened."

"So we didn't have good times?"

"I didn't say that but Brian you didn't want the life I did and I accepted it and I thought you did too."

"I did...it's just..."

"It's just what? You come around after almost 2 years and you thought that I'd be the same lonely Olivia but I'm not her anymore, a lot has changed since you've been gone and I'm finally happy...let me have it!"

"Liv...I didn't mean"

"Look, we ended on good terms and I don't wanna consider you one of my mistakes because we did have good times; but it's over...let's just leave it at that." He seemed taken aback and even wiped a few tears that had sprung free from his eyes before he gathered himself and had the nerve to speak.

"Congratulations" he said and kissed her cheek then walked out the door.

* * *

That night at the brownstone, Nick was coming out of the kitchen with a towel and the baby monitor and went into the living room where he expected to find Olivia still studying for her lieutenants exam. He was surprised when he entered to find her fast asleep on the couch and he immediately sat the monitor and hand towel down on the coffee table smiling when he saw her and went and kneeled down in front of her, stroking her brow.

"Hey, Liv" he uttered sweetly. She woke softly, opening her eyes slowly bringing him into focus. "Sleepy?" He smiled.

"Oh god!" she sat up and yawned. "What time is it?"

"Just after nine."

"Noah..." She panicked as she started to get up.

"Liv, it's okay, I gave him a bath and read him a story while I put him to bed."

"Did you remember to..."

"Turn on the nightlight; I remembered." He said as he sat beside her on the sofa.

"What about his..."

"Dinosaur? Babe, he's fine, I promise."

"I guess it's hard remembering that I'm not doing this by myself anymore." She said curling into him. He put his arm around her.

"You have any regrets?"

"Regrets, no...I'm working through my insecurities. It's just a lot to get used to; I'm so thankful though!" In the quiet of the night she lay her head on his shoulder and she slowly looked up at him and they kissed as his fingers skirted over her tiny belly, caressing it from the bottom up to the top of her swell.

"You're so good at that!" She said referring to his kisses as she drew even closer and he kissed her even more passionately, his fingers now going further up, teasing her nipples while they kissed and feeling them grow hard beneath his fingers while she moaned her approval into his mouth.

"I promise, this is not why I woke you up!" He said as the kissing continued and she climbed onto his lap, straddling him.

"I don't care...keep doing that..." She kissed him deeper as he continued to tweak her nipples then stopping to pull her tank top off and feast on them drawing one and then the other into his mouth where he teased them with his tongue before he sucked. She reached for his tee shirt, quickly stopping just long enough to get it off over his head.

"God you're so beautiful!" She whispered with kisses, drinking in his body with her eyes "I can't believe you're mine!" ...as she ground her hips against his and pinched his nipples, kissing him.

"All yours mami...all yours!" He was so aroused, he needed to stop her from moving before he came right there and attacked her neck, paying special attention to that one spot just behind her right ear that he knew drove her insane and especially with her being pregnant, everything was magnified like sensations in her breasts and nipples; her mouth as her continued teasing her in all these places, getting her so hot and making her yelp when his fingers found their way into her sleep pants making divine contact with her clit.

"Oh god Nick... Oh god!" She cried as his fingers made slow circles around her clit but was careful that he didn't touch it, wanting to make her beg as he drove her crazy, planting kisses all over her as she cried out. When he finally touched her there she nearly lost it as he planted more kisses to her breasts then her mouth then moved, picking her up with his arm around her waist to lay her down atop the rug that sat in the middle of the living room with her attached to him, her arms and legs wrapped around his torso. He withdrew his hand from her pants to pull them off and kissed his way down her body, paying special attention to the scar on her side where she'd had surgery. He slowly touched it, kissing it just as slow and sensual and causing laughter from her when he hit a certain spot that tickled. She turned over on her stomach and reveled in his kisses all over her back.

As the night wore on, they continued making love over and over there on the floor until they were too tired to move.

"I love you!" Nick whispered as she lay spent in his arms, both sated beyond belief.

"I love you too!" She said and kissed him, going off to sleep in his arms.

* * *

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**See you all next time. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	27. Test

**Chapter 27, enjoy.**

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**2 weeks later...**

"So it's been a month since the hospital and everything is going well. Your blood pressure has been back to normal, your weight gain is good and you've had no scares with the pregnancy. I think we can safely discuss the amniocentesis." Dr. Gates said. She was ecstatic to see that Olivia had healed so well.

"I was thinking that we could..."Olivia started but Nick cut in.

"Liv...the amnio. I mean we're having this baby regardless right?"

"I just think it's better if we know what we're up against; if we're up against anything"

"Yeah but if it's nothing..."

"But what if there's something?"

"You guys have the info, why don't you read more, discuss it and get back to me? Dr. Gates offered as a solution.

* * *

When they got home later that day after spending it at the park and kids museum with Noah, it was no surprise how easy he went down for his nap and Olivia was tired enough to do the same.

"This baby takes so much energy." She said from where she stood in the bathroom.

"I don't want you having it!" Nick said as she entered the bedroom.

"The baby?" She said, her mind gone blank for a minute.

"No Liv, the test." He clarified as she came and sat beside him on the bed and turned to face him.

"Nick. Why are you opposed all of a sudden? I've had the information since I was in the hospital."

"It's not all of a sudden and because you had just come through a horrible accident where you almost lost it...I don't think you'd need it, I didn't even think you'd consider it."

"Not right then; I wanted to give myself time to heal. I didn't think this would be an issue for you, I mean come on, I'm 46...there could be a host of things wrong with this baby and we don't know..."

"I don't wanna talk about this!"

And now came the tears. "You're gonna hit me with this Catholic bullshit now? This is our child's life we're talking about!"

"Exactly, his or her life. We don't need a damn test to decide if we're gonna love her!" He got up from the bed, angry but she didn't care. She was just as heated.

"Is that what you think, that this is some kind of litmus test for me?"

"Olivia, I am done talking!"

"Nick please, can we just..."

"No. End of story!" As she paused, she looked at him with a cloud of anger behind her eyes that could have stabbed him.

"I'm going into the office" she said calmly.

"That's mature, just leave?"

"_I'm_ being immature…" She said then turned and walked out of the bedroom and out of the house.

* * *

When she walked into the precinct about 40 minutes later, Fin and Amanda were there with a couple other officers scattered about but it was pretty much empty.

"What are you doing here?" Fin asked Olivia upon seeing her come through the doors and causing Amanda to look in her direction.

"I remembered I had some work that needed to be done by Monday so..."

"Work?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna be in my office, could you see to it that I'm not bothered unless..."

"Don't worry about it."

"Thank you" she said and went in the office and slammed the door.

"What crawled up her butt?" Amanda said

Fin simply shook his head at the blonde.

... ... ...

The day carried on for Olivia, she and Nick were still upset and she sat crying in her office for practically the entire day, refusing to talk to anyone until Fin called Casey out of worry and got her to call Liv to see if she could get it out of her.

"I just realized we didn't talk all week. What's going on?" Casey said.

"Did Fin tell you to call?" She said. Closing the file she had been going over.

"No...why do you ask that?"

"Because I just talked to you two days ago, so either you've got a terrible memory or you're a terrible liar!"

"Fine! Fin said you've been sitting in your office upset and I wanted to see if I could help." Olivia looked through the window behind the couch, opening the blinds with her finger and saw Fin who was staring into the office until he saw her looking through the blinds at him, then he just pretended to be doing paperwork.

"There's nothing to help with, I'm not upset" she said as she removed her fingers and sat back down on the sofa.

"Now who's lying?" Casey asked. Olivia began to pick imaginary lint from the belly of her sweater.

"Case..."

"Liv what's wrong? ...and don't make me get Alex on three way!" Olivia took a breath and let it out and tears came out with it. She sat and cried for a minute while Casey just listened. When finally she collected herself enough to talk:

"God I could kill my hormones... Nick and I had a fight" she reached for a tissue to wipe her nose and eyes. "I don't even know why I'm crying!"

"Talk to me"

"We went to the OB today to check the baby"

"The baby's okay isn't it?"

"As far as we know...the amnio came up during the checkup..."

"I remember you said you wanted to wait a while until you were healed before you had...wait, is that what the fight was about?"

"He doesn't see the point in it and doesn't want me to have it"

"Liv you've planned on that test since you first told me you were pregnant, he knows that doesn't he, I mean your age alone..."

"We've been through it. He's being an obstinate ass!"

"What are you going to do!"

"I've tried talking and he doesn't wanna hear it but Case I'm having this amnio whether he likes it or not but he doesn't understand that I'm not doing this because I won't love this baby; I already love this child so much it scares me." She was crying again and Casey felt awful.

"Liv, don't upset yourself; I'm not there to comfort you!"

"I just really want him on board; Case I'm scared and I want him there." She said as she rubbed her belly. "...I need him there." Unexpectedly, she heard someone clearing their throat from where she sat on the couch. When she looked to her right she saw Nick standing in the middle of her office.

"Case, I'll call you back...okay." She ended the call and wiped her eyes, turning to Nick. "I didn't hear you come in." She stood up to face him.

"...you were on the phone..." He stood there feeling terrible at seeing her in this state and fought to hold back his tears.

"Where's Noah?"

"He's out there with Fin." She nodded, teary eyed as she again peered through the blinds to see Noah playing with Fin and Amanda. She watched him for a few seconds before she turned around to face Nick and though she tried to hide her tears they flowed anyway and she wiped her nose with the back of her hand while she caressed her belly with the other. "Liv..."

"...you are this child's father, but you are not the one having this child; _I _am the one having this child, _I _have to carry it around in my body and make choices every day that are gonna keep it safe and protected and it's not easy!"

"I know"

"Do you? Don't you think that I've weighed the risks? Because I have Nick and I can't go through waiting and finally give birth- " the tears that she couldn't help crying overtook her and she took a moment to breathe, not counting on ending up in Nick's arms.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. "I shouldn't have yelled, I shouldn't have reacted so strongly." She pulled away and looked at him while she said what she had to say and prayed that her tears would stop because this was damn annoying.

"I respect that you feel the way you do but it doesn't make how I feel any less valid."

"You're right mami and we can talk about it...let's just get out here."

"No, not if I'm just gonna listen to reasons why I shouldn't... Nick, I have to do this and I need for you to understand that but more importantly I need for you to support me."

"Look at me" he said before she reluctantly turned her eyes up towards him. "I don't understand, I don't..." She started to speak but her cut her off. "But as much as I hate this, I understand your reasons."

Surprise registered on her face "You do?"

"Yeah I do" he said as he took her hands and kissed them. "And I'm sorry...I never meant to hurt you or make you cry"

"You can blame that on my hormones" She said as he wiped her eyes and cupped her face.

"I love you and the last thing I wanted was to make you feel like I don't. If this is important to you, then it's important to me."

"You'll be there?"

"I'll be there...now how about we get our son and get out of here, maybe go get some dinner...?"

"We are hungry" she said with a smile as she put a hand on her belly. He followed suit, taking a moment to feel the baby kicking before he leaned in and kissed her.

* * *

The following Saturday after Nick returned from DC they were at home sitting in the kitchen with Noah having a late breakfast.

"You sure that's all you're having?" Nick asked Olivia who was picking over a piece of dry toast. Noah was busy eating his cereal and fruit, having been satisfied that he had given both Nick and Olivia bites of it.

"Babe I'm nauseous, this is good for now." She said as she took a sip of her ginger ale. Nick got up and palmed her belly as he stood behind her.

"At least you're not throwing up...man this kid is active!"

"It knows you're near." She said as she looked up and stole a kiss.

"You nervous?"

"I'm not so much as I'm terrified!"

"It'll be fine, won't it Noah?" Nick asked, Noah wasn't exactly paying attention and just agreed.

"Okay da" he said and went back to eating. Nick smiled as did Olivia.

"That just gave me a burst of confidence." She got up and went to kiss Noah. "I'm gonna go grab a shower and get ready."

"I'll be up in a minute" he said as he kissed her and she left.

"I finsh" Came from Noah who had cleaned his bowl.

"Good job mano!" Nick said and hi- fived him.

... ... ...

A half hour later as Olivia was coming from the shower in a towel, Nick walked into the bedroom and took off his tee shirt.

"Where's...?"

"Lucy's here...I had hoped sooner so I could join you for that shower." He said kissing her neck. "You are so sexy with that belly" she laughed as he kissed her mouth.

"We can still get in a quickie!"

"But not too quick!" He said and stripped her of her towel.

* * *

Later at the hospital they were about to perform the amniocentesis. Olivia had been prepped and the doctor was performing the ultrasound to guide the needle as Nick tried to calm her.

"Thank you" Olivia whispered nervously to Nick.

"For what?" He said as he hovered over her, holding her hand which was folded above her head.

"I know how you feel about this, but you're here, for me and I love you."

"Olivia, honey I'm gonna need for you to be perfectly still; no shaking." Dr. Gates said.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you're nervous, it's expected."

"Hey, it's gonna be alright...just squeeze my hand." Nick said.

"Okay"

"Olivia, I'm inserting the needle; now you're going to feel a pinch but there shouldn't be much pain." Olivia drew in and held her breath as she squeezed Nick's hand.

"You're doing good baby!" He said

"It feels like something's pulling" Olivia told the doctor.

"It's normal, it's just me collecting the fluid. Almost done." After a few seconds she transferred the fluid to a container and removed the needle. "All done. You did great sweetie!"

"We're done?" Olivia asked, relieved.

"All done...and the baby's fine, heartbeat nice and strong" she smiled as Olivia took her arms down and the nurse cleaned the gel off Olivia's belly. "And we'll have the results right around time for your next appointment. I'm gonna leave you two, give you some alone time, but if you need me for anything, I'm on call so just have me paged. I'll be back in an hour to check on the baby. Remember, don't touch the injection site.

"Thank you Stephanie." Olivia said and the doctor left.

"You did good" Nick smiled.

"You gave me courage"

"Now that's one thing you'll never need from me!" He said and kissed her.

"Lay with me?"

"Thought you'd never ask" he said and climbed into bed with her, putting his arm around her. "I was thinking and we're gonna need a name for this little one soon" he said, his hand on her upper swell.

"I was thinking about that and I'd like to name it after you..."

"Liv..."

"I know what you're going to say; it's your father's name but our baby...well it's his or her father's name too; and it's a good name"

"So is Olivia... Or Oliver"

"Uh, noi Truth be told, I've always hated my name but I dealt with it because my mother chose it and she loved it. Your name has history- 5 generations of Nicolas and I wanna pass it to our baby."

"I'll give it some thought; in the meantime, how about we see what the mister is up to?"

* * *

**2 weeks later...**

"And she's still willing to testify?" Barba asked as he looked through a stack of legal briefs. He had been working on this case for months now and they were finally moving towards trial so he had to tighten things up before they moved in 4 weeks. They had their witnesses lined up but there was one, Tanya Murphy, who throughout these 8 months was an unsurity in spite of the fact that she could be a major ally for the prosecution.

"We're pretty sure this time." Fin said.

"Good, I don't have to tell you all what an advantage she is to this case."

"Don't worry, me and Carisi got her to commit this time." Rollins added. "She's on board for sure"

"Yeah, all it took was round the clock detail until after the trail, I'm telling you, broad's a nut!" Carisi said.

"She's a nut that's gonna sink this case for the prosecution! I'd say worth it." Fin said.

Olivia on the other hand was barely paying attention. She was lost somewhere in her head.

"Olivia...? Where do you go? Do we need to break, maybe you need a phone call?" Barba said

"I'm sorry I just..." She said snapping out of the thought that had been plaguing her thoughts lately. She joined the conversation to see everyone staring at her. "I'm sorry" she said, picking up her tea and taking a sip just as Carisi's phone went off and he picked it up to look at the message.

"Sorry to cut this short but we gotta go, Amanda. TARU wants to see us!"

"Duty calls!" She said and got up, leaving with Carisi.

"We done here?" Fin asked.

"I think we've covered everything" Olivia said "but just to be on the safe side, you guys keep an eye on Tanya. We don't want her changing her mind again before the trial.

"I'm on it!"

"Thanks Fin." After he left and shut the door, she turned to Barba and looked at him as she rubbed her stomach.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing. I just...the baby's amnio results are due back this week..."

"Liv, I've told you, you have nothing to worry about"

"Except I do"

"No, you don't. Olivia it's gonna be fine"

"Except it's not"

"Okay will you stop doing that?" She fought to not cry the tears that had suddenly filled her eyes.

"I'm just going out of my mind here." She said now rubbing her stomach more anxiously as the baby was on a kicking spree.

"First of all, your emotions are way out of control, they need to make a pill to fix that!"

"Not in the mood for jokes" she said wiping her eyes with a slight smile.

"Well maybe you need one right now; you're worrying for nothing.

"You sound like Nick"

"Smart man. Liv, everything is good for once. Noah 's adopted, alright, you're having a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby...you're in love, you have the life you want why do you wanna bring gloom to it?"

"I don't I'm just afraid that it's gonna blow up Raf; everything's been so great in my life lately, I feel like it's all just gonna implode..."

"New life, Liv" he smiled. "It's late, go home, spend time with Noah and tomorrow you'll feel brand new."

* * *

Later that night at the brownstone Olivia had just finished giving Noah a bath and now they were on the floor of his nursery playing with his building blocks.

"Your new room is awesome huh? Pretty big." She said getting the next block ready while he snapped the other in place.

"Bwing toys"

"Yeah, we can fit a lot more toys and books; how about this one, what color is it?" She asked as she handed him the blue block.

"da bue un" he said with a smile.

"That's right big boy. Blue." She clapped her hands as she smiled and Noah laughed and stacked the block then high fived her. "You wanna count them?"

"Coun mama. One..two...fee...fo..." He said, pointing to the layers of blocks as he counted.

"Wait, what about me?" She laughed

"Me coun" he said and continued "fie...sit...seben...bue!" He said with a giggle.

"Blue isn't a number silly!" She said as she grabbed and tickled him. He laughed hysterically and kicked his legs about as she laughed with him, holding and kissing him. "I love you little man!"

"Me?"

"You, big guy."

"Daddy luh"

"Daddy loves you so much!" she smiled as the doorbell rang.

"Doe too mama?" He asked, not yet used to the sound of new doorbell but pretty sure of what it was.

"It sure is" she got up from the floor and pulled her thin robe closed to cover her short nightgown before she lifted Noah gently. "Let's go see who it is"

"'Kay"

Heading out of his room and down the stairs, when they arrived at the door she was surprised to See Trevor standing out on her stoop.

"Nook mama" he said as he pointed to the door at Trevor, putting his head down on her shoulder. She laughed and stroked his hair, kissing him.

"So I see." She smiled and secured the staircase gate before she went and opened the door. "Trevor hi...um, it's late..."

"Hi, I'm sorry. Time got away from me at the office and I was on my way home so I wanted to get these papers to you. Hey Noah." Noah buried his head in Olivia's neck.

"Come on in" she invited as he stepped in and she shut the door, walking through the foyer and into the living room with Trevor following.

"You look much better than the last time I saw you" he said smiling.

"I feel a lot better."

"Is Nick...?"

"No, he had to fly to DC this morning, he won't be back till later tonight." she said as she took a seat. "Can I..."

"No, thank you. I won't be here that long...the house looks great by the way" he took a seat beside Olivia and popped his briefcase.

"Oh thanks, we're still trying to get things organized and unpacked but..."

"Mama down" Noah said to Olivia, happy when his bare feet touched the rug and he took off running across the large living room, Liv keeping a watchful eye on him and Trevor couldn't help looking at the little guy and smiling.

"I can't help but think _what if_."

"The past is the past" she said quietly with a smile.

"I honestly felt something for you...more than just sex; I just, I couldn't... I'm not saying this to make trouble, I'm glad that it's Nick finally"

"Finally?"

"Come on, I've seen the way you used to look at him; the way he looked at you, still does. I just didn't think he'd ever get the chance and I thought if I could take your mind off him...but I guess the better man won. I'm happy that you got what you wanted...he loves you a lot and I know that he loves Noah..."

"He does" she smiled

"I'm happy for you, I mean that...Anyway, I just need his signature on these papers for the background check and then we'll be ready to go once it's complete." He said and handed her the papers.

"Wow; just that fast?" She rubbed her belly as she absently looked over the paperwork.

"Just gotta get on a judge's docket; I assumed you wanted judge Linden again so I'll put in a request on Monday."

"That's it?"

"That's all." He shut his briefcase and locked it, standing up. "Do you think you can get those to me by Monday?"

"I'll have Nick sign them and you can pick them up at my office." She walked him to the door and opened it, Noah came running.

"Go out?"

Goodnight Trevor. No sweetie, we're saying goodnight to Mr. Trevor" she said taking his hand in hers.

"Nigh nigh"

"Goodnight Noah" he smiled then turned to leave.

"Trevor?" Liv called making him stop and turn back. She tiptoed and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, and I don't mean the adoption."

"As long as he makes you happy!" He said and turned to go. She shut and locked the door and turned to face Noah.

"Okay buddy, how about we get you a bottle and a nice story before bed?

"No bed" he said then mumbled something unintelligible before he took off running again. Olivia looked across the room at him and slumped against the door with her hand on her belly.

"Why did I wait til my 40's to have children?" She said blowing out a deep breath then went after Noah.

... ... ...

Later, close to midnight, Olivia was asleep on the couch with Noah across her belly, finally asleep when Nick came in the front door. He sat his briefcase down on the hall table and noticed the living room light on and went in to turn it off when he saw Noah and Olivia on the couch and smiled; after a very long day of having to fly to DC and back, he was grateful to be home and even more happy to see them even in slumber and he smiled. Noah had obviously worn her out but he thought they looked so beautiful lying here asleep on the couch, Olivia's arms protectively around him and their unborn baby. He quickly reached for his phone and took a picture before he gently lifted Noah, and once he had him securely in his arms, he just as gently shook Olivia.

"Babe; wake up." He whispered quietly, smiling at her when she opened her heys. "Hey"

"Nick, you're home!" She said as she sat up

"Late but I made it." He leaned in and kissed her. "Hi"

"Hi" she smiled rubbing her belly, the baby suddenly waking up.

"Tired?"

"Hungry now" she said as he helped her stand up with his free hand, tickling her bump as she stood.

"I'll go put mano down and I'll be in." And the kissed her. Later they were in the kitchen eating at the counter...

"You know how you've been saying that I shouldn't worry about..."

"Baby, don't let this get to you"

"Nick I've tried but these last few days..." She took a slice of avocado off his plate and took a big bite. "I can't help feeling that somethings gonna happen." She said with her mouth full.

"Baby, you're letting your imagination do you in"

"But what if..."

"You know what I think this is?"

"My foresight?" She said as she put the rest of her avocado in chocolate ice cream and ate it. Nick gave her a look.

"Mami, that's disgusting" he said laughing.

"It's actually quite good, wanna try?"

"No, I think I'll pass, and I think all this focus on that test is just nervous energy."

"Really"

"Liv, you made a choice to be proactive and the closer we get to knowing the results, the more nervous you've gotten. Now you're suddenly afraid that this test is gonna wreck havoc."

"And what if it does?" She said, putting the ice cream back in the freezer.

"Know what you need to take your mind off this?" He said as he got close to her, pinning her back to the fridge.

"Ni..." But he kissed her before she could finish, hot and steamy, undoing her robe and letting his hands roam her body. "Oh" she said when he pulled away after a moment.

"Or we could talk about that test " he said with a smile then left the kitchen.

"Bastard" she was already aroused that fast and left the empty plates on the counter, turning off the light and went after him. He kissed her hard and carried her up the stairs and as they reached the top she reached to pull him into her, kissing him back as she undid his shirt. He just stood there like they had all the time in the world just kissing so sensually there in the hall.

"Do you know what you do to me?"

"I should be the one asking that question!" She moaned between kisses, gripping his hair. "You make me crazy baby; please don't make me wait!" She begged as he carried her through their room door, not wasting any time as he put her down undoing his pants as she discarded her robe and when he laid her down on the bed, kissing her body as he pushed her gown up and straddling her, he entered her from behind, she gasped at the delightful yet painful intrusion as he began pumping slowly to give her time to adjust.

"Shit!" He declared. She felt too good "tell me if I'm hurting you." and he grabbed her hair, turning her head and kissing her deeper as she absolutely relished the feel of him.

God the size of him! When she cried out, it was in absolute pleasure. "...go deeper!"

"You sure?"

"I'm su-" she started once she felt his hand on her breast, his fingers working on her nipple as he kissed her neck "yes, I'm...sure...oh my god!" And when he went deeper she lost it after only a couple strokes, feeling like she was going to split apart and come, letting out a long moan.

"Nick...oh god baby!" She said trying to catch her breath while she begged for more. He thoroughly exhausted her that night, making her come three times before she quit and fell asleep with no thoughts of the amnio in her head.

* * *

**.**

**So what will the test say? See you guys when I see you! Reviews are always welcome.**


	28. Results

**Chapter 28, we're almost done only 2 more chapters after this. Not much more else to say so let's get to it. Dick Wolf owns.**

* * *

.

Saturday morning Olivia awoke and immediately moved Nick's arm then threw the covers off her. Being 6 months pregnant, when you had to go, you had to go and right now it was pee or pop as she hurried towards the bathroom and shut the door.

Finishing up after washing her hands, she was putting on lotion when she looked in the mirror at her belly, just astounded at how big it had gotten. Just a few months ago, hell even two months ago there was barely anything there and now she was practically bursting with life! She ran a hand over her face; her cheeks were filling out and her lips were definitely taking on a much more plump appearance which she loved along with her much fuller new breasts, they hurt like hell most of the time but they did look fabulous she smiled to herself. and just that fast her thoughts were interrupted by the test.

"You have to be okay. I swear we'll love you regardless, we already do...I just need you to be okay!" She whispered as she rubbed her belly through her short nightgown, the baby was already so active early in the morning and she smiled as Nick walked in and put his arms around her from behind.

"Morning" he said and kissed her neck.

"Good morning" she smiled as he put his hands around her belly, feeling the baby move.

"I see little Bean's awake!" He smiled and turned away to pee.

"Very much so and surprisingly not making me nauseous." She said as she stared at him from behind.

"That's a plus" he said

"Yeah...big plus!" Seeing him shirtless and in boxers that hung low on his hips as he stood there peeing...she couldn't help but leer over the muscles in his back and the way they tapered down to his waist. This baby was doing a number on her; after the fucking he gave her last night she was ready to go again as she stared at him!

"Liv?" She was suddenly brought out of her flight by him calling her name from where he stood in front of her.

"I'm sorry what?"

"I was asking where you went but it's pretty obvious." He said with a smile as he threw the hand towel on the counter and licked his lips.

"It is?"

"Mmmhm...come here!" He said and kissed her deep and slow, lifting her to put her up on the countertop. She quickly spread her legs to get him closer as they kissed and she stroked him, getting even more turned on at the feeling of his large shaft in her hand. He didn't waste any time before his fingers were at her slit rubbing. She let off a heaving groan as she arched her back to his touch and kissed him deeper, drawing her knees up and apart. He responded by inserting two fingers into her already wet sex and pumping them slow while his thumb continued on her clit and he reached to free her breast, taking the nipple in his mouth to which she sucked in her breath through her teeth.

"Baby...easy..." She she pleaded before he went to the other and kissed her mouth again as he withdrew his fingers, sucking them dry as he kissed her then entered her fully in one thrust absorbing her cry with his kiss and fucking her. He had a grip on her hips and plowed into her over and over and soon they could both feel her starting to come as her moans became louder.

He fucked her harder, deeper, Liv going insane with every thrust he gave. Nick could give it good no matter what time and right now he was fucking the hell out of her. They were so caught up in each other that neither of them noticed that Noah had pushed open the bathroom door and wandered inside.

"Mama?" The toddler said with his smile fading as Nick and Olivia turned towards him looking down and froze in place, completely mortified and afraid to move.

"Noah...baby..." Olivia started nervously, out of breath.

"Um... N-Noah" Nick stammered, breathless as well. To say the least, this was embarrassing for he and Olivia. "H-how did you get out of your crib?" Noah looked at them, still frozen in place and cocked his head to the side.

"Oh" he said.

* * *

Later as Olivia sat in her office, she was on the phone with Nick while doing paperwork and eating a burrito.

"Where is he now?" She asked as she took a bite.

"He's having lunch right now and then we're gonna go to the park, there's a play for the kids and after we're going to footlocker."

"Sneakers?"

"Liv, a guy's gotta have a good sneaker collection and it's never too early to start"

"He's 20 months old" she laughed.

"See, we're wasting precious time. The new Jordan's are out today so we're gonna grab a couple pairs then head your way."

"Yeah I don't know what that means." She laughed "So how is he? Does he seem affected?"

"Babe, as embarrassing as it was thank god we weren't naked and he didn't see anything...much, and he's fine. We should be more concerned with the fact that Houdini can get out of his crib."

"Only my legs in the air but..." She sighed as Nick laughed. "I'm so glad you find this funny..."

"Well you gotta admit..."

"Nick! ...I guess it's time to turn his crib into a bed, god, I was dreading this day!"

"Liv, don't cry; he's still your baby" Just then Amanda came and knocked on the door.

"Can I call you back?" She said wiping her eyes of the tears that had escaped. Amanda opened the door and Olivia gave her the signal that she'd be with her in a second. "I will." And she hung up.

"I just wanted to say that I'll see you later." Rollins said from where she stood in the doorway.

"Headed home?"

"44 hours with no sleep, I'm gonna go and murder my pillow! Hormones again?" Olivia gave a laugh.

"I can't tell at this point."

"Well, hang in there, just a few more months."

"Let's hope it won't take that long. See you Monday"

"Later!" Just as she was walking away, Fin was about to enter the office.

"Goin home?" He asked.

"With a vengeance!" She answered, walking past him. He waked into Olivia's office and shut the door.

"Hope you don't have any plans" he said as he sat down.

"Why?" She asked, chewing.

"Our vic at Mercy, she only wants to talk to you, says she'll only name her attacker if..."

"...I'm present." she finished and sighed as she straightened up what was on her desk and closed it then got up with the remainder of her burrito in hand and took a bite. "You drive, I'm exhausted!"

* * *

Over at Mercy over an hour later, Olivia was in the hospital room still talking to the victim, a 22 year old named Victoria Davis who couldn't get her story straight or give a straight answer for that matter and it drove Olivia insane though she did an excellent job at masking it. It was obvious that Victoria was lying, she knew it but on the off chance that she wasn't...

"So this girl, this Laila Kennedy invited you over; last night, gave you drinks and raped you?"

"That's right"

"And what time was this?" Olivia asked as she was writing in her little book.

"Uh...11-11:30"

"You said 10:30"

"Well I mean like I went over at 10, the rape didn't happen until like 11:30...are you gonna like, call Laila?"

"I don't-"

"I was thinking you know, she should know that I like, tried to kill myself..."

"You want your rapist...here?"

"Well yeah, like, I mean if she knew right, she might like..."

"I see...Vicky...can I call you Vicky?" Olivia asked, the whole gist of this becoming clear to her.

"I'd prefer Tori buuuut..."

"Tori; yes, we're gonna call Laila and go to her house, or work to find her and we'll haul her into the precinct for questioning..."

"You'll..."

"Well it is a rape investigation; I'm gonna go and make some phone calls, will you excuse me?" She said and left the room with her hand on her stomach rubbing it and checking her phone to see if there were any missed calls, expecting one from the doctor. She was disappointed yet relieved to see that there were none and leaned on the counter to the nurses station.

...

"You okay?" Fin asked as he came behind her.

"Yeah...I'm just...Victoria is a lot to deal with!" She said, 80 percent lying.

"See what I mean?" Fin asked.

"Unfortunately." she said steadily rubbing the top swell of her bump. "Nothing out of her mouth makes sense. I was in there for over an hour and I'm not saying she's lying but..."

"Walks like a duck, talks like a duck?" She gives him a knowing look.

"She wanted me to call Laila- her ex girlfriend who she says got her drunk last night and raped her" Fin starts to speak "...at somewhere between 10 and 11:30..." Now on top of everything else the heartburn that started off slow an hour ago was at full attack.

"A girl? That's...different"

"Yeah, she wanted me to call her and have her come over. She thought she might be sympathetic to her since she tried to kill herself; god this damn heartburn!"

"What would you do without me?" He asked as he pulled a roll of TUMS from his pocket and handed them to her. "Why don't we go back to the the precinct, I'll pick up this Laila and we'll talk to her."

"She's refusing a rape kit, still. I'm gonna assign Enriquez and Jones to her to keep watch while we talk to the ex." She finally got the pack open and popped a few in her mouth.

...

They got back to the precinct, Fin went and picked up Laila, a very frail looking girl who got there only to be shocked by the news and went on to tell them a story of a Victoria who is obsessed and clingy which was why she had to break up with her two weeks ago and hasn't seen her except when Victoria would show up outside her apartment unannounced leading Laila to change her locks and when the locks were changed, the phone calls came. She doesn't know who Victoria was with last night but it wasn't her; she was in Connecticut at a party and can prove it. She didn't get home until this morning.

"Well this is grand!' Olivia said to Fin. They had left Laila in the interrogation room while the had a powwow in her office.

"Tell me about it. If we believe Laila, and it looks like she's tellin the truth..."

"Then Victoria concocted a whole story to get revenge on a lover who didn't want her anymore." She looked at her watch. "Shit, Nick will be here any minute!"

"Hey, you know that no matter what the test says, I'm here for you"

"I appreciate that Fin, I really do."

"Anyway, you get out of here, I can handle Laila and I'll let you know if we need you."

"Thanks, hopefully it'll be good news." And he went back to the interrogation. Olivia sent her hands over the baby, thinking for a moment and quickly started getting her stuff together.

* * *

At the doctor's office, Olivia sat in the exam room in a gown, waiting on the doctor as Nick paced the room.

"She should be in here by now, what's keepin her?" he wondered out loud.

"I don't know but will you please stop pacing, you're making me nervous!" She said with a hand to her belly. Nick came over to the table and started massaging her shoulders as he kissed her cheek.

"I'm sorry...you okay?"

"I'm fine just...ohhh, don't stop!" She said as he rubbed her shoulders. "I just want to know; whatever it is...Nick, we can handle it right? I mean parents go through this, they get these diagnoses every day and they deal with it. We can deal with it, we can." He came around her front and sat down on the stool, taking her hands.

"Whatever we get, we'll deal with it okay?" She nodded, teary eyed. "This baby is loved and that's what matters!" He said as he palmed her belly.

"I just wanted to do this right..."

"Baby, you are doing this right. However this baby comes you've done this absolutely right and I don't want you to fault yourself because no matter what, he or she is so loved and wanted. We'll get through it." Just as Nick was comforting her, Dr. Gates entered the room.

"I'm so sorry I'm late." She apologized

"No it's fine." Olivia said as Nick held her hand "so the test results...they're back?"

"They are, I have them right here. I know you've been anxious to get them so how about we discuss them and then we'll get to your checkup, sound good?"

* * *

Later that night Nick and Olivia were talking to Caesarea and Noah through video chat. After having dinner with her and Fin, Caesarea begged them to let her keep Noah for the night.

"We'll call you tomorrow, ma" Nick said. They had been home about an hour and talked to him as he was on his way to sleep.

"Goodnight baby!" Olivia said, blowing a kiss. "See you tomorrow"

"Nigh' mama nigh' da" Noah waved.

"Night mano, we love you!" he said before he turned off the video chat and turned to Olivia.

"What?"

"You. You haven't stopped smiling since we left Dr. Gates office earlier"

"I'm just...finding out our child is healthy" she smiled, lightly massaging her belly. "She's gonna be perfect and I can't get over that"

"She...I'll never get tired of saying that; we're having a girl!" he smiled as he touched her stomach.

"Ready for another daughter?"

"No. but I got my guns, so…" they smiled.

"Zara's certainly excited; she wanted a little sister, must have asked me a dozen times to please make it a girl."

"My baby gets an idea and 'whoa'" he laughed.

"That is true. But I'm glad that we could; I want her to feel a part of all this."

"That's why I love you. You have the biggest heart and you love fiercely!" She smiled as she looked at him.

"Are you disappointed that I couldn't give you a son?"

"Never"

"...even a little?"

"It would've been nice for Noah to have a brother to grow up with but no. I got my boy, and now two girls and I'm happy."

"Every day I'm just overwhelmed. I'm having a baby and I didn't think it would or even could happen at this point" she said with tears in her eyes "yet here she is, growing and kicking and putting me through hell most days- but she's here and every day that I see her...she's in my body and getting bigger and I'm just blown away...and I get to share it with you!"

"...ever think we'd be here?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"When I first found out I was pregnant, I had a bazillion thoughts going through my head and those first couple days none of them were positive. I was so scared and I just wanted to run away... You and me and what I thought was a mistake and I just...Nick I loved you; for a long time but circumstances... I thought for sure that we'd never be together and that you'd find someone else"

"Circumstances have a way of putting people where they need to be" he said as he took her hand.

"I finally realized that. I don't know what our future holds but right now I'm happy to be able to kiss you and make love to you and share children with you even if one is an escape artist who gets out and walks in on us but I love loving you..." He wiped the tears that flowed from her eyes "you made me whole again after so much and I love you with everything I have...and that's not hormones talking!" She said laughing through her tears. He kissed her then, all the words he wanted to say getting choked up so he kissed her lovingly to make his words understood.

"I wanna make love to you!" He sighed through kisses.

"I thought you'd never ask!" She whispered. He reached to untie her sleep shirt and slide it off over her head, marveling at her naked form and stealing kisses and touches before he lay her down and they took their time, making love to each other nice and slow until she tired out and they settled in to sleep.

* * *

**Six weeks later...**

"Trevor, what brings you by?" Olivia said to Trevor who was standing in her office doorway.

"Got a few minutes?"

"Yeah, come on in." She smiled as he came in and shut the door, taking a seat in front of her desk.

"So, Lieutenant huh? Congratulations!" He said as he put her name plaque back on the desk.

"Yes, thank you."

"Absolutely. So I wanted to tell you that everything is complete." He took papers from his briefcase and handed them to her. "All we need now is to have Judge Linden sign the decree."

"That's really it?"

"That's really it, and Noah will officially be an Amaro." Olivia sat there for a moment overwhelmed. "And I took the liberty of getting you on her docket, she sees you in a week."

"A week?"

"She squeezed you in, what can I say, she loves you!"

"Gee thanks" she said with a hand to her belly.

"So wait, this is bad?"

"No, no I just...a week? I hope Nick can take off work.

"Have you told him?"

"No, I was waiting for...well today. BTW, how about more notice next time?" He looked at her "well not that there's gonna be a next time, it's just...you know what I mean!" and he laughed.

"I know what you mean"

"So what is all this gonna cost me?"

"How about we call it my gift to you"

"Gift?"

"Yeah...for Noah." He gathered up his briefcase and stood up. Olivia tried to meet him but found it difficult to stand up and finally just gave up as Trevor tried not to laugh.

"Trevor, that's too much...and don't laugh at me!"

"I'm sorry; you're absolutely right." He said stammering his laughter. "Olivia, some advice, learn to take a gift. I'll see you on Wednesday at 11!" and he left the office.

* * *

"Mama nook, cown win" Noah said. Olivia was sitting up in bed on her laptop and headphones on her belly with Noah beside her on the iPad. She immediately turned her head and looked down.

"Good boy Noah." She said, the baby started to kick her hard and she put a hand to the side of her belly. "Whoa little one, those are mama's kidneys!" She said to her stomach.

"Baby tickin?"

"Baby's kicking hard" she said with a hand to her back and one across her stomach. Noah put the iPad aside and got up on his knees to talk to her belly.

"No kick mama hard baby, kay?" He said gently to the baby.

"Aw Noah, you're so sweet" she said with a kiss to his head. Nick walked into the room and Noah jumped to greet him.

"Da ome!" and he scrambled across the bed.

"Hey mano!" He picked Noah up, lifting him high in the air and kissing him when he brought him down. "What are you doing up so late?"

"He wouldn't go down without seeing you first...hi"

"Hey babe" Nick sat down on the bed with Noah before turning to Olivia and kissing her. "Missed me little man?" He asked Noah who in turn began babbling to him. Nick acted interested in every word and responded as if they were having a conversation, Olivia smiled at seeing the interaction between them and sat quietly watching while they conversed for a couple minutes, Noah telling Nick about his day as he'd done with Olivia earlier and being extremely animated.

"Wow, you had a big day, huh?" Nick said as they wrapped things up with Noah telling him about the baby and how she kicked and he quieted her. Nick high five him and gave him a kiss, telling him what a good boy he was before Noah climbed off his lap and picked up the iPad again, playing happily.

"How was work?" She asked.

"You first" he said as he stood, taking off his shirt and tie. She was temporarily distracted when he got down to his tank top and just watched him longingly for a minute.

"Liv?"

"Oh um it was uneventful; you know, just dv cases, meetings with the brass...uneventful." He smiled.

"Same...well except I may have to go to Virginia for a month."

"What?" She closed her laptop and took the headphones off her belly tossing them

"It's not definite yet" He sat beside her on the bed and touched the lower swell of her stomach where it was exposed "...but I may have to go to Quantico"

"Da nook"

"Wow baby, that's great!" He said as he mussed Noah's hair before turning back to Olivia.

"Nick...I'm seven and a half months pregnant, the baby is gonna be here in two and a half months; maybe sooner. The doctor said there's a possibility that she could come at any time..."

"Liv, mami I know. Calm down; nothing's set in stone yet" He smiled and looked in her eyes "and even if it does, we'll be alright; we have the phone, and video chat...the month will be over before you know it."

He spoke with a serene voice as he rubbed circles on her belly. Noah seemed unaffected by anything that was going on as he was busy in his iPad but Olivia couldn't bring herself to calm. It was hard enough lately with him being gone once a month; the further she got in this pregnancy she needed him a lot more, not just for the physical; although it was a big plus since pregnancy hormones had her in sexual overdrive, but mentally. She tried everyday to appear the same Olivia Benson she had always been pre-pregnancy but her emotions had been all over the place practically from the start of this pregnancy and she was thankful that she had him here to lean on; and what about Noah and this baby? What if the doctor was right and she did come early and he was away? She couldn't fathom going through labor and childbirth without him, he needed to be right here although a part of her understood that this was his job, the job he chose to be with her and she couldn't make him feel guilty about having to go if it came to it but what about her? ...and could he please put on a shirt? Now was not the time for distractions.

"When will you know?" She had tears in her eyes but fought so hard not to cry them. _God, this wouldn't be an issue if I weren't pregnant! _She quickly lost the battle as she felt moisture running down her face.

"Next week...mami, don't cry!" When he said that Noah turned around to look at them.

"I'll be okay..." She said cupping Noah's cheeks. "I just wanted tonight to be; we got you something" she wiped her eyes and reached under the pillow to grab the card that she and Noah made. She thought that changing the subject would alleviate the stress she was already feeling and handed it to the toddler.

"Noah, give it to daddy!" She gave a smile. Noah took it and stood up in the bed, walking over to give it to Nick who looked on excitedly.

"'Ere da!" Noah said as he gave it to him.

"What's this little man? My birthday isn't till October."

"Doan know" Noah said shrugging and nearly fell over but Nick and Olivia reached out and caught him. "Open" he said and sat down beside Olivia.

"Early gift" Olivia said. Nick looked at them both before he started off opening the card.

"...save the date?" He smiled reading the front. "What's September 2nd?"

"You know, I'll be glad to have another girl around here soon because men are not the brightest" she grinned. "Open the card up!"

"Ha ha! We're plenty bright, right Noah?"

"Wight" Nick opened the card out and went to reading it while he laughed, soon stopping when he got further down and was immediately choked up. There were tears in his eyes he was so emotional and he needed a minute.

"Olivia...mami...when did you...?"

"Right after we decided to move in together and I hope it's something you want"

"Want? ...Liv, this is something I've dreamed about, I... I don't know what to say" He said as he took Noah and hugged and kissed him then kissed her full on with Noah in his arms, both of them getting lost in it. With him feeling the joy of finally adopting Noah on top of him possibly having to leave her for a month and her feeling the same things, so caught up until...

"Ay! Da, mama!"

"Why don't you put him to bed." Olivia said.

"I think I should...say goodnight to mama" Noah huffed loudly and gave Olivia a kiss.

"Nigh mama"

"Goodnight baby!" She said and kissed him. Nick kissed her a final time before he walked out with Noah, discussing what bedtime story to read. When he shut the door partway, Olivia waited until she heard them enter Noah's room and then she let the tears flow and sobbed silently. How would she handle Nick possibly leaving her for a month?

* * *

**.**

**Reviews are always appreciated.**


	29. Anticipation

**One final chapter before it's over so let's get to it. Chapter picks up where the last left off. I own nothing.**

* * *

.

"Hey" Nick said as Olivia lay across him, seemingly in a trance "Liv, it'll be okay, I promise!" He told her with a kiss. She didn't want to talk about it last night so instead, they made love until she fell asleep and now the next morning they had woken and now she just lay there with her head on his chest trying hard not to cry.

"You can't promise that." She said almost silently and he turned her head up to look at him.

"I can. You're gonna be fine; baby it'll be alright"

"I don't know why I'm making such a big deal of this..." She was fully in tears and tried to wipe them away.

"Because you're pregnant and you're emotional, I know, this is hard for me too. I don't wanna leave you or Noah, but if I go it's only a month and I'll be back; 4 short weeks. I'll call every day and Skype; the time will pass before you know it and I'll be home."

"What if the baby comes? I haven't had any signs of labor but it could change; quickly... I don't wanna do this without you, I need you!"

"And I swear to you if that happens I will be on a jet and I'll be right here, you won't do this without me, I promise you I'm just a phone call away. He looked into her eyes and kissed her sweetly, the kiss turning passionate through her tears and it wasn't long before the feeling hit and she climbed her naked body on top of his, sitting astride him. He reached up to touch her nipples, amazed at how hard they were and sending ripples through her as he continued to knead them with his fingertips and pull them.

"Baby..." She moaned as she raised up to guide him inside her. She flinched as he entered her then began riding him, slowly at first then picking up speed.

"Shit!" He exclaimed at the feel of her, squeezing her nipples harder while she moaned. Being inside of her was pure joy; nirvana. "Eso es todo mami, me jodas!" He whispered and let go of her nipples, surprised when a few drops of milk came out of one and then the other. He sat up and quickly brought his mouth to her breasts, licking the few stray drops then sucking her into his mouth.

She cried as she rode him, so close but also getting tired and she slowed down for a moment, her arms around his neck; he felt so good but she was quickly exhausted.

"Liv, if you wanna stop..."

"No, I just need a second" she said.

"Come here" he kissed her and gently lay her down. "Lay back and let me please you!" He said, looking at her splayed legs getting even more excited as he climbed over her, stroking her before he quickly entered her again, fucking her in long, hard strokes as they kissed. When finally she came twice, he came with her and held her as she again fell into a deep sleep, him promising that he would always take care of her.

* * *

Later that day at the precinct, Liv had been disinterested in everything. It's not that she wasn't trying, she was but with things at home about to be up in the air she found it harder to focus on matters that weren't home related. She realized however that she was the boss and everyone expected her to perform whether or not she was feeling it so she tried in earnest but it was not turning out good.

"Hey, boss..."

"Just a second, Carisi" she said and continued her conversation with the two unis that had just bought a guy in. "Good call Nunez; Johnson put him in holding."

"I ain't do nothin!" The young, angry white guy said.

"Save it. Get him outta here!" And she turned to Carisi, looking stressed. "What?" She said with both hands on her back trying to ease some of the pain she was in at the moment and sounding annoyed. She quickly started walking around the squad room in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort.

"You okay?"

"No. What?"

"Mother in the Broafield case; she's takin back her story. Says it was a big misunderstandin and she's not pressin charges." Olivia put a hand to her head, squeezing her eyes shut and swore under her breath.

"You and Jones go see her, make sure she's okay and calmly find out what the issue is." She said, she was now back at her office door.

"I'm on it!" He walked off and she went inside her office, took a seat behind her desk and kicked off her flats then grabbed her TUMS just as Fin came into her office.

"Busy?"

"Not." She said with a mouthful of TUMS. "What's up?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing. Yesterday you're all happy and today..."

"Today I have an almost 4 pound baby with her feet in my back and who's using my kidneys for a stomping space. I'm allowed to be blah." She said, reaching into the basket on her desk and retrieving a giant oatmeal-raisin cookie, quickly unwrapping and eating it.

"I'll give you that...except that's not it!"

"And you know this how?" She said with another bite.

"As long as we've been friends?" She let off a deep sigh and continued eating.

"Nick told you about Noah's adoption?"

"I think it's great, I'm so happy for you guys."

"Did he tell you he may be leaving for a month after next week?"

"So that's what this is about" he asked as he took a seat on the corner of her desk.

"I guess I'm not handling it so good...Fin I hate being this woman!"

"At least you know you're _that_ woman" he said with a laugh and she smiled. "It'll be alright, okay he'll go and a month will go by before you know it and he'll be back. Meanwhile I'll be over your house to annoy the hell out of you as much as possible until he does!" She laughed silently as tears sprang to her eyes.

"Here's where I'm about to cry for no reason" she said as the tears began falling and she wiped them away.

"Noah's my godson, and this is my little goddaughter" he said rubbing her belly, I'm not gonna let anything happen to her, I promise you'll be alright!"

"Okay"

"Good. You can do this baby girl, I know you can, don't underestimate yourself!" He got up and kissed her head and turned to walk out.

"Thanks Fin."

"You're welcome" he had the door open. "Now get the crumbs off your shirt and put your shoes on, prospective hire number 1 is here.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by with Nick finding out on Friday that he would in fact be going to Virginia for a month. Olivia was not happy but she told herself like Nick had all week that it would be okay and she just had to believe it.

The weekend came and they decided to spend it getting started on the nursery. They went out on Saturday with the swatches they had chosen and got the paint for the baby's room then went to the furniture store to order her nursery necessities, beautiful mahogany wood furniture with bedding and curtains to match the paint and told that it would be two weeks before the furniture was delivered. Finishing up early, they went out to have lunch and then took the subway to the botanical gardens in Brooklyn. Noah loved all the flowers and ran around smelling them and picked the ones that he was allowed to, happily filling Olivia's arms with a ton of flowers. He slept on the subway ride back to the city and after getting home Olivia took a nap with a still sleeping Noah while Nick brought in the paint and things, setting them up in the room to tackle tomorrow.

At 4:30 they headed to the airport to pick up Zara. She had a week off from school and with all of her whining that she wanted more time with her dad and Olivia, Maria decided it would be better to let her go rather that hear her go on about it. She put her on a flight that morning and told her that she would pick her up next Saturday since she knew there was no way that Nick was putting his baby on a plane by herself to go back to California. When they got there Zara was so happy to see everyone and Nick was especially happy to see her. She had visited for 3 weeks over the summer but he never grew tired of spending time with his little girl.

They got home and ordered takeout since Olivia was too tired to go out again and Zara didn't want to go if she didn't come; she was practically stuck to Olivia from the moment she arrived, like earlier in the summer she was simply enamored with the prospect of having a little sister and she stayed as close to Olivia as possible, talking to her belly and crazy excited when the baby would start to kick.

"Does she have a name yet?" She asked while Olivia was in her bedroom seeing her off to sleep.

"She does actually but I wanted to know what you think of it before your dad and I decide..." She said as she took a seat on the bed. The baby was doing some serious kicks and it felt good to take a load off as she propped her feet up. "What do you think about Zoë?" She asked.

"Then we'll both have a Z!" She exclaimed, obviously excited. "Hear that Zoë? You have a name!" She smiled as she spoke to the belly and Olivia laughed.

"I take it you like it then?"

"I love it and so does she, right Zoë?" The baby continued to kick like crazy. "Does it hurt when she kicks?"

"Uh...not all the time" Olivia said rubbing her belly. "...but she has given me some pretty good blows. Mainly I'm just happy to feel her every day."

"Me too." She said as she hugged Olivia who in turn got teary and hugged her back. "I wish I could live here!" Olivia hugged her extra tight before she let her go.

"Okay, how about we get some sleep? We have a big day tomorrow!"

"I can't wait! Goodnight Olivia, goodnight Zoë!" She said and kissed her belly.

"Goodnight Zara." Olivia said with a kiss before turning off the light and leaving, closing the door. She went just one door down to check on Noah who was sleeping peacefully in his bed, curled up with his dinosaur. She stroked his hair and kissed him with her fingers before she locked the gate that led to the stairs and made it downstairs, stopping at the landing to take a breath. She ended up in the family room where Nick was watching a game on TV and she waddled her way over to him.

"Room for me?" She asked.

"Always room for you; come here." He said as she sat down beside him. "Tired?"

"Understatement... I feel like I'm all baby and I'm going to pop!"

"Try not to until I get back!" He said with a kiss and started rubbing her belly.

"Oh I'm definitely gonna hold it in!" She said "So I told Zara the baby's name...she loves it!"

"That's a plus"

"I think so...Zoë, it has a nice ring to it"

"So you admit you like it better than Nicole?"

"Yes, okay? I said it... But I still want it for her middle name!" She said as she leaned forward and grabbed a handful of popcorn.

"Good thing we have time!" He said with a smile and took some popcorn from her hand.

"You know what would taste amazing with this?"

"What?"

"A ham, salami and swiss cheese sandwich with brown mustard and a chocolate milkshake!"

"I suppose you want me to get that?"

"Only if you want to!" She said with a smile. He gave off a laugh and got up, kissing her lips.

"Be right back!" He said, he rubbed her stomach and turned to leave.

"Don't forget the pickle" she called after him.

...

Sunday came with Olivia and Zara leaving for brunch and shopping with Casey and Bella and then off to Caesarea's house for dinner while Noah stayed home with Nick who was painting Zoë's room and would meet her at his mom's later. Fin and Cragen were coming over to help Nick, Don got there first and Noah was so excited to see him, running quickly to Don who caught him and lifted him.

"Hi pop pop!"

"There's the little guy" Don said with a hug and a kiss. "How's it been?" Noah proceeded to babble on about everything he could remember since he last saw him- the zoo, the park, dogs at the park. His puppet shows and movies and his trip to the museum where he saw dinosaurs and just yesterday, going to the botanical gardens and finished off with Zara coming last night.

"Sounds like you've been a busy boy these last few weeks"

"Uh huh...dot canny pop pop?" He asked with a smile making Don melt.

"That depends on what dad says" Don told him.

"Da; pease" Noah said turning to face Nick, a huge grin on his face.

"Don't tell mommy!" Nick said, Noah laughed as Don gave him gummy bears and he thanked him and ran across the living room to eat them.

"Adopting the little guy, having a baby...what took you guys so long?" Don asked Nick but before he could answer, the doorbell rang.

"Doe" Noah called from far off and Nick smiled.

"Saved by the bell!" He laughed before he went to the door to open it, happy to see Fin. After a couple hours they had set up, got some lunch into Noah and got him down for a nap and then got to work on the room.

* * *

The following week Nick took off work to spend with the kids and Olivia did as well. Wednesday came around and their little family, with Nick's mother all gathered at the courthouse for Noah's adoption. When the judge signed the papers, Nick cried which made Olivia cry and pretty soon everyone in the room had tears except Noah who after a while became afraid and began bawling at seeing everyone else being what he perceived to be unhappy. Olivia quickly gathered him up in her arms and laughed as she explained to him that it was a joyful occasion and that they were all crying because they were all so happy. It only took a minute before he was smiling again and chatting up Judge Linden before they all, with Caesarea, Zara, Trevor and the judge, took Noah's first picture as an Amaro with Nick and Olivia standing there in the center, proudly holding him.

Later as they were all gathered at the house for a celebration, Nick got possibly the best news he could have gotten when his phone suddenly rang just as he had changed Noah and was headed back downstairs.

"That's seven, right. Good job mano!"

"Good-job" Noah said and high fived him. The phone started ringing and he stopped at the top of the stairs to answer it, Noah in his arms.

"Hello, Amaro... What's up Aponté? That's not my department but; wait, you're where? Yeah I did, what's he done now? He's...you're kidding me!"

"Nah man, he's deader than...well he's just dead. Turns out, one of those girls he trafficked a long time go was the little sister of some kingpin, got him in the showers."

"And you're sure?"

"Man how far back we go? I'm sure. Anyway I gotta go but ay man, next time I'm in town I'll hit you up but congrats on the adoption man!" And he hung up. Nick turned to Noah and hugged him tight. They knew when they caught him that this case was big and they were all pretty angry that the feds had snatched it away from them but luckily between he, Liv, Raf and Fin, they all knew somebody with the FBI or related to the case who would keep them in the loop and let them know how it played out. After all, they broke their necks and risked too much on this case.

As he went downstairs, he looked around the living room at their friends. Olivia came over and kissed him, seemingly happier as she reached for Noah and hugged him tight and Fin, Casey and Amanda looked on smiling. Tomorrow he would share the news about the bastard but today was all about Noah and though he didn't know it, he too had just gotten the greatest gift he'd ever get.

Johnny Drake was dead.

* * *

"You ever think about it?" Alex asked as she, Casey and Olivia were in a baby store, shopping. It had been three weeks since Nick left for Virginia and so far, things were good aside from the fact that she missed him terribly.

"Me?" Asked Casey

"No, I mean Liv..."

"Think about what?" Olivia asked.

"...getting married to Nick."

"Aren't we going a little fast here?" Olivia said.

"Come on, you guys are having a baby and living together; you even let him adopt my godson, marriage just seems like the next logical step."

"Honestly, Nick's been ready forever and I've just sort of been... He hasn't brought it up in six months because the thought scared me but lately I've been feeling like...I don't know, something's missing; I think I'm ready to do it!" She said then stopped mid-aisle and took a breath as the baby kicked away and she was fully out of air and in a bit of pain. Now at almost 9 months pregnant, her daughter's kicks were painful in addition to the almost constant backache and she leaned forward on one of the outfit displays while rubbing her huge lower belly.

"God I will be so glad when this baby girl comes out!" She said with a groan. "Everything hurts!" She complained as Casey rubbed her back.

"You remind me of me three years ago" Casey said "hang in there, only five more weeks"

"...but five weeks. I've kept this baby in for 35 weeks...I don't know how much longer I can do it!"

"You can, even if just another week!"

"I'll be so glad when Nick is home... I need to get laid so bad!"

"I was the same way with Bella, Caius got no break when I was pregnant...not that he really gets one now, I'm on him every chance I get!" Casey laughed.

"Hello, some sympathy here!" Olivia said. "Did I tell you guys he grew a beard?"

"Not the hospital beard again" Alex said and Olivia laughed.

"No, that beard was a mess and unkempt. This one...very nice! And she's kicking my bladder, I need to pee!"

"Just reminded me to pick up my birth control pills" Alex said. Casey and Olivia turned to her and shook their heads as they walked Olivia to the bathroom.

"Don't give me that look. I am fine playing godmother to Noah and Bella and soon this little one" she said, happily rubbing Olivia's belly "but that's where it ends. I don't have the time or the desire for my own children!" She picked up a beautiful nursing pillow. "Are you planning on nursing? This is gorgeous!"

"Ugh, don't even remind me. My breasts have been leaking milk for almost a month, I figure my body wants me to...but do you see the price on that thing? I'd have to nurse 10 babies to make it worth the amount."

"Well then, it's a good thing you're not buying it, you wouldn't let us throw you a shower so we're spending the money we would have used for that on gifts" Alex said as they were nearing the bathroom.

"No. No no no; I said no shower, that meant no gifts."

"Liv...shhh!" Casey said. "You are not winning this one so shut up, pee and let's shop!"

* * *

"Yes, I'm okay...yeah, I'm waiting on him to call now...yeah, he had so much fun today, Lucy gave him his bath and he conked right out thank god. I will... I will Caesarea, goodnight." Olivia ended the call as she finished her ice cream cone and tossed the phone onto the nightstand. Another week had passed and Nick would be home tomorrow; when she thought about it she just felt so happy!

The baby started to kick and she put a hand to her belly. "Oh baby girl...how about you take it easy on mama tonight? ...four more weeks, just four more weeks." She then said to herself. Between being tired and in pain all the time she felt like she was going to go crazy! Couple that with being being ridiculously horny- though she had no idea how she would even get there with Nick. Every part of her hurt and her belly was absolutely huge, but still she couldn't wait for him to get home tomorrow because she was prepared to exhaust herself trying!

Mostly though, she just missed him! Waking up in his arms and going to sleep the same way. She missed him at breakfast and him and Noah being so adorable spending time together but most of all she missed him being here for her, rubbing her belly to calm the baby or her back when it was sore and she loved when he'd put her feet in his lap and rub them...the way he'd just take care of her. She'd never had anybody do that for her; never felt safe enough to let anyone. That was the difference; she felt safe with him. Now she got to staring at her left hand and she realized suddenly how much she did want to marry him. Alex was right with what she said last week _'it's the next logical step' _but now the question was, was he still interested?

"Let's hope so" she said out loud to no one then with her right hand under her lower swell, she pushed herself up from the bed with her left hand twice before she was on her feet and shuffled slowly to the bathroom for a shower and then bed.

30 minutes later she came from the bathroom with her hair up and ready for bed. She quickly went to the dresser, already cold and pulled out a sleep shirt and quickly put it on. She had to laugh because it barely fit anymore. Stretched taut across her breasts and just covering her stomach, she looked down and decided _'fuck it, I'm not changing' _and quickly went to get in bed.

She didn't hear the downstairs door as it eased open, nor hear the footsteps that ascended the stairs but then she heard it, the security gate as it unlocked and then closed. She thanked god that she hadn't gotten in bed yet and prayed that it was Fin because by the time she got her gun from the closet...

"Fin...?" She called, frightened and thinking that she had to get to Noah.

"Baby?" Nick said as he opened the door to the room. Olivia immediately ran over to Nick.

"Oh my god!" She was so happy to see him that she practically jumped into his arms. "What are you doing here?" She cried.

"I couldn't wait until tomorrow!" He said with tears in his own eyes as he spun her around, holding her tight then put her down and they kissed through their tears for a long moment.

"I've missed you so much!" She whispered as she continued to kiss him.

"I missed you too..." He said with another kiss. "Look at you!" She ran a hand over her swell as he did and they smiled before he went back to kissing her.

"Where's Noah?" He asked, backing her up.

"Sleeping" she said with her mouth full of him. She was tearing his clothes off as they backed into the bed, switching positions once the got there and pushing him down on the mattress. "We might have to experiment to find a position..."

"I'm game" he said as she climbed onto the bed and kissed him deeply, nipping at his beard.

"God I have missed this!"

"Not as much as I have, come here!" He said and flipped her onto her back. He kissed her and got down in front of her, spreading her legs and kissing her inner thighs all the way to her entrance where he took his time to kiss and suck her outer lips thoroughly before he parted her with his fingers and dove in with his mouth on her clit. They both thought that they were in for a long night although it didn't quite work out that way. She lasted about fifteen minutes, tongue incuded before Nick decided that he couldn't and she needed a break. As much as she didnt want to admit it, sex had become painful at this stage in her pregnancy and she cried because she really wanted it but just couldn't, barely able to handle his fingers inside her, his penis actually made her cry no matter how gentle he tried to be. In the end she was in a lot of pain and so they stopped with him reassuring her that it was fine and though he protested at first, she sucked him off good before they went to sleep, content that she could still make him whimper like a girl with her mouth!

* * *

7 o'clock the next morning when Noah woke up and came into the bedroom for Olivia but was totally shocked to see Nick lying there sleeping. As a huge smile crept up on his face, he dropped his dinosaur then got about three feet away and decided he couldn't leave him behind. He went back to get him really quick then went to the cedar trunk at the end of the bed and climbed up on it. Once secure, he used the trunk to get up on the bed, his trusty dino in tow and he walked but then fell down on the mattress and decided he'd be safer crawling through the tangled sheets and hurried as fast as he could go until he was at Nick's head and he sat up and tapped him.

"Dad-dy, get up!" He said. Nick opened his eyes still full of sleep but they quickly focused when he saw his little surprise. "Hi" Nick sat up, scooped a smiling Noah up in his arms and held him and kissed him.

"Hey baby boy!" He said, tears falling, Noah threw his arms around Nick.

"Stay?" He asked, hugging his neck with his cheek pressed against his

"I'm here to stay" Nick kissed him then as his senses came to him: "wait, how did you get up here?" He asked as he sat him down on the inside of the bed then got up and put his boxers on just as Olivia came from the bathroom in her robe with her hair wet and dying it with a towel.

"Hey baby" she said to Nick before she saw Noah then gave him a quick kiss on the lips before she had to sit down to take the pressure off her back and Nick darted in the bathroom to pee. "Hi monkey!" She said as he stood up beside her and she kissed him, holding him carefully.

"Hi mama!"

"You ready for breakfast?"

"Baby eat too?"

"Baby, mama, daddy and Noah." She said.

"An' Noah...dat me!"

"That's you!" She laughed as Nick returned. "Babe, would you get him dressed for me?" She said as she put a hand to her belly and breathed slowly.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay...be right back. Come on mano!" He said scooping Noah up"

"No daddy, want down"

"Down it is" and he put him down and walked out behind him. "Hey Noah, don't..." There was a loud thud as Noah hit something. Nick turned to Olivia.

"I got him!" He said and nervously ran down the hall.

* * *

Another week went by where not much changed. Olivia was more miserable than ever, she thought for sure that the baby would have come by now but as luck would have it, when she'd gone to the doctor the previous Saturday there wasn't even remotely a sign of labor and she just knew that if she had to go through 40 weeks of this she wouldn't make it.

"Who the hell decided that pregnancy would take so long?" Olivia complained as she, Barba and Amanda walked from the courthouse. October 13th and it was another hot day as Indian summer was well under way with the temperature hitting 90° today and it just made Olivia more miserable.

"Just keep telling yourself, 3 more weeks!" Amanda said.

"So help me, I'm gonna hit the next person who says that!" Olivia swore.

"Liv, why don't we take a cab back to the pre-" Barba started but she immediately cut him off.

"No, I have to walk, walking will bring on labor..." She reminded him "god, it's so hot!" She said in tears, taking a deep breath. Her hair up in a ponytail and wearing short sleeves under her jacket that she now carried in her hand did nothing to help the fact that she was covered in sweat.

"Alright. Come on. Sit!" Rafael ordered and Olivia, with his help took a seat on a bench in the courthouse park they were walking through.

"Are you alright?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah I just..." she took another breath and let it out, in tears as the baby kicked her repeatedly. Painfully. "I can't do three more weeks of this, I can't!"

"Honey, you're just tired is all."

"No, it's about the fact that I can barely breathe, or walk or keep focused and I have to pee every at least 90 minutes, 2 hours if I'm lucky and everything hurts...I mean everything! And i cant sleep anymore and sex was the only thing that made this bearable and now that's gone and I'm just a fat, swollen mess...and I'm hungry!"

"I'm gonna- " Rafael started

"Go" Amanda finished.

"I'll call you" he said and left, Rollins shaking her head.

"Liv, honey I know it's hard but it'll be alright. And you look beautiful okay? Look, why don't we take off work, Fin's there, he can handle it and we'll go to your house and get you some much needed rest - and food!"

"I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm not like this!" She cried.

"It's okay. Come on, we'll go back and get your stuff and go home. Come on." She said, helping her up.

"Okay."

"Good, and look there's Ahmid, you wanna grab a kabob? My treat." She said as they started walking towards the truck.

* * *

By the time week 38 was finished, so was Olivia. Though it had been her intention to work until her water broke, there were zero signs of that happening and she just couldn't do it anymore and on that Friday when she left work, she announced that she'd be starting her maternity leave, wished everyone luck, gave the reigns to Fin and said goodbye. So ready for the next four months off.

Nick got home late that night and Noah was fast asleep. He found Olivia in bed talking to Zara via Skype and stood at the door for a moment to listen.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"Daddy really loves you, a lot."

"I love him a lot too"

"Are you gonna marry him?"

"Well, I'll tell you a secret if you promise to keep it."

"I promise"

"I'd love to marry your dad, I'm just waiting on him to ask."

"You could ask him"

"I could, but it's more special if it comes from him. I gotta go, your sister is dragging my bladder again." She said getting up.

"Okay, goodnight, I'll call tomorrow!"

"Night sweetie" she ended the call and tried desperately to get up but she was tired and her weight wasn't having it. She really had to pee. "Oh come on!" Luckily Nick walked in at just that minute.

"Need help?"

"Now please!" With a grin on his face he pulled her up. "Hi" and she waddled into the bathroom as fast as she could.

"Slow down a bit!" He laughed. He waited until she shut the door and quickly ran to his closet, pulling down a box and pulling out a Tiffany box and the most gorgeous ring that he had been holding onto for the last 7 months. 3 carats, platinum band, solitaire diamond with a fine diamond band and at last he could finally give it to her, could finally ask her the question he knew that he'd wanted to ask her forever and now she was ready to hear it. She was ready to be asked and to give him an answer; a yes answer. Ready to be his wife and...

"Nick, I was thinking we could...what is that?" She said, unable to take her eyes off the ring.

"This? I um..." He busted out a smile that he couldn't hold in and she looked into his eyes.

_This was it!_

"This was supposed to be totally romantic" he said, stepping towards her. She couldn't stop herself from crying.

"Oh my god"

"But the look in your eyes is all the romance I need..." And he got down on one knee and took her hand and with tears in his eyes... "Olivia, I love you; I've always loved you and I would be honored if you..."

"Yes...I've been waiting for this, the answer is yes!" She cried. When he put the ring on her finger she broke down, crying so hard that he got up and hugged her, crying himself.

"You okay?"

"I'm better than okay...I love you Nicolas Amaro and I can't wait to marry you!" She threw herself into his arms and they kissed, soft and passionate, getting more into it until she broke the kiss.

"What's...?"

"I'm not sure, but I think I just; oh..." She grabbed the underside her stomach just as her water began leaking down her legs.

"Is that?"

"Either that or I just peed myself?"

"Oh my, oh my god...the baby is coming?"

* * *

**.**

**The baby is coming! Please review?**


	30. Us

**Well, it's the final chapter and I want to give a huge thank you to everyone for reading this story! Thank you for enjoying it, especially when it became harder for me to write after my stroke; I have the best readers and I look forward to one day bringing you guys another Bensaro tale, but for now we say goodbye to this one and I hope it's to your liking! As usual, Dick Wolf owns the SVU characters and I just borrow.**

* * *

.

"Do we...what do we do?" Nick sputtered nervously.

"Baby, calm down. I'm not contracting yet." She said as she waddled towards the bathroom, holding her belly.

"Where are you going?" He wondered aloud.

"To take a shower; I have fluid on me and I need dry clothes; call Dr. Gates and your mom."

"Is it finished...breaking I mean...how are you so calm?!"

"Easy...I'm trying really hard not to be nervous!" She said before she disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door.

...

"Don't worry mija, you'll do fine! I've done this three times; when the pain gets really bad it's okay if you scream."

"What?!" Olivia asked, suddenly frightened.

"Ma-"

"Or curse, whatever you have to do to get through it…"Caesarea continued as Olivia looked at Nick with fear in her eyes. "And when the time comes that you're begging to be murdered…" Olivia stared at them both with eyes wide with worry.

"Nick..."

"Okay ma, just- she doesn't need to hear this right now" he said as he helped her buckle her seat belt.

"Right, you're right. Olivia, are you okay?" Caesarea asked.

"I'm fine Caesarea...not so much anymore but…"

"Okay, well you two call with any news"

"We will" Nick said and drove off. Caesarea stood in the doorway and watched them off before she went inside and shut the door.

* * *

"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news." Dr. Gates said as she pulled off her gloves. "But you're not in labor."

"What do you mean I'm not in labor? My water broke!"

"Actually it didn't- pee."

"No…!"

"I know. The baby's head is pressing right against your bladder and you didn't empty when you thought you did; Olivia I'm sorry."

"So I'm pissing myself now?" She said in tears.

"Well there is good news; she's not in the same position she was in so maybe now would be a good time to try sex and if that's still too uncomfortable you could try toying with your nipples and if sex is a go you could try both."

"Or you could induce me now; I can't do this anymore!"

"And you know how I feel about unnecessary inductions." But Olivia was crying as Dr. Gates spoke. "Look, I know it's hard, I was in the same predicament with my first and second. But just give it a little time, you have two weeks. If she doesn't give, then we'll talk induction until then, go home and let that gorgeous man cater to you."

* * *

"What are you doing home?" Caesarea asked as she made her way downstairs. Nick helped Olivia take off her coat and she went quietly up the stairs.

"Let me hel-" Nick started

"I'm fine, I got it!" Olivia snapped as she went upstairs. Nick and Caesarea watched her until she got to the top then Nick turned to his mother.

"Her water didn't break." Nick told her.

"Oh, that poor thing!"

"I'm gonna go see about her, Noah's okay?"

"He's fine, still asleep I just checked on him." Caesarea answered. "You need anything?"

"No, no I'm okay. You get some sleep"

"Buena noches, mi amor!" She said as she kissed him and went to the guest room down the hall while Nick headed upstairs.

...

After relocking the gate, he tiptoed in on Noah and kissed his face before pulling up the door and then heading into his and Olivia's room.

In their bathroom, Olivia was at the sink with tears in her eyes as she stopped to breathe while holding the counter. Something had to give.

"Please, please little one!" She begged while rubbing her swell. "Mama can't do this much longer!"

"Babe?" Nick called while kicking off his shoes and taking off his shirt. Olivia wiped her tears before answering.

"I'm in here!" She said as he came in.

"You okay?"

"I don't really have a choice!"

"Liv, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I did this and you're miserable and I…"

"I'm not miserable I'm just…"

"Miserable?" He said as he wrapped her in his arms from behind.

"I don't wanna feel this way" she cried as she rested her head against him and in tears in spite of having wiped them away. "I just want her to come out!"

"She will; she's just being a little stubborn" he said as he rubbed her belly.

"Stubborn and now making me pee myself."

"Baby..." he felt a giant kick as Liv gripped his hand. "Zoë, how about we take it easy on mommy, baby girl?" He said as he leaned into her. In seconds the baby seemed to calm down.

"Already a daddy's girl!" She smiled. "you know, the doctor said she's moved a bit now, we can try sex to bring on labor; unless you don't want to." she said to him as she turned to face him, her anxieties showing. The last couple of weeks, her belly had grown so big and she had become painfully aware of just how big. While she wasn't looking forward to possibly trying only to end up in pain again, it was worth a go if it meant getting this baby out.

"Are you kidding me, of course I want to."

"It may not make a difference, it could still hurt…"

"But it might not, and if so, we focus on...other ways." he said.

"Could we try in the morning? I'm so tired right now, I just wanna try for some sleep while I stare at this beautiful ring." she said as she picked it up from the counter. She had taken it off, sure that they would ask her to at the hospital and was so glad to have it back again. He took the ring from her hands.

"Still a yes?" He asked.

"Forever a yes!" She said with tears in her eyes as she looked at him. And as he slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her hand, he couldn't help feeling bad; she was trying so hard but he could see that this was getting to her which was why he was glad that he put in for some time off. He leaned in to her, forehead to forehead as he wiped her tears and kissed her cheeks and told her silently that it would be okay, then kissed her as he cupped her face.

"Come on, let's get some sleep!" He said softly and together they exited the bathroom.

* * *

The following week brought much of the same thing. No baby and stress because their was no baby and the sex wasn't working, though it did give her good orgasms.

Noah's birthday had come in the middle of the week and that was a bright spot for the family; their baby finally turned two and they were thrilled. Olivia and Nick threw a big Flintstones themed party at the house complete with dinosaurs and he had a ball. Between all the kids they'd invited and all of their family, Zara had been given two weeks off from school and was thrilled that she could come to New York to be with everyone and Noah was in heaven. He got to spend time with his sister and she spoiled him with so much attention he thought he'd burst.

Though it was hell for Olivia to get around, she put on a brave face for Noah and all turned out well, although several times she would go to the kitchen, sit down and curse around Casey, Amanda and Alex. They were sure she would have delivered by now and surprised that she hadn't. Even when on the phone in the days leading up to the party (when they weren't gushing about her engagement and the ring) they offered her sympathy for the baby not coming yet; except Alex, she got a good laugh at the plight of the single-impaired as she called her friends with children.

Noah got so many cool presents including his favorite, a little Range Rover that he could drive around in thanks to Alex. When the party was finally over and Nick was putting the kids to bed, Casey and Alex stayed behind to help clean up, finishing quite quickly much to everyone's surprise. After they had finished they sat around the living room talking for a bit before they left and Olivia locked up, turning off the lights before tackling the stairs and heading up.

...

Halloween came that Saturday night and still no baby! Olivia was thankful when it was time to bring the kids in, she and Nick allowed them to eat some candy and then put them to bed. Olivia, as soon as they were down, took a nice hot bath and let the day melt away. She couldn't believe she was a few days away from delivery and hadn't had so much as a twinge! No braxton hicks, nothing! This baby was determined to make her sweat!

"You gotta come outta there sometime you know?" She said to the baby as she splayed her hands over her naked, wet skin and rubbed slowly, smiling as she caressed her bump, Nick's hands intertwined with hers. As miserable as she was, moments like this made it all seem worthwhile even if once she got out of the bliss and weightlessness and massage jets of the water, she would be singing a different song.

"Admit it, you like having having her safe and sound inside you." Nick smiled.

"I did when she was smaller…" She grinned.

"She has gotten pretty big hasn't she?" he was enjoying playing with the tiny hand and foot that poked out through her skin.

"You're enamored by that foot!"

"...and hand..." He said, tracing them both before they disappeared.

"And hand" she laughed as she reached up to touch his face and kiss him. After, her hands went over her swell, to the top that stuck out of the water and rested there while she closed her eyes for a few minutes, resting comfortably against Nick while he let his hands roam her body and planted sensual kisses along her ear and neck until Zoë decided to start kicking like crazy.

"I said a half hour, you owe me 10 bucks!" He laughed.

...

She had intended to try for some sleep but it escaped her and almost an hour later she was still lying in bed, wide awake and horny as hell.

"Nick?" She whispered, praying that he'd still be awake. His quick response let her know that he was.

"What's the matter? Are you in pain?" He asked in an urgent whisper, turning to face her with his hand on her belly.

"No, I'm alright."

"Hungry?"

"No. I was- I need to come…" She whispered, slightly self conscious.

"Now?"

"Yeah, I mean unless you…" before she could utter another word, he was on her, kissing her lips eagerly and with purpose; he wanted this bad and she gave in, kissing him back with just as much zeal until their tongues were all tangled and their bodies were on fire.

"How do you wanna do this?"

...

It was definitely more comfortable since the baby had moved but it was still so hard to find a position that didn't leave her short of breath or was too uncomfortable so they ended up trying them all until finally, she ended up on all fours while he took her from behind. The sex wasn't completely non painful but it was bearable and Olivia was determined; plus the more they went at it, the better it felt. She tired easily like this, so every few minutes they would stop, her resting on her arms until she found that breathing this way wasn't so bad and he did her like this, face down until they came together, him letting off three huge loads inside her while she wept from the strength of her orgasm, collapsing in its wake.

"Good?" He asked totally spent and out of breath, reaching to hold her.

"Good!" She answered as she kissed him, breathless as well. "But I want more!"

"Somebody's greedy!" He grinned, moving over her to kiss her more, spreading her legs in the process and immediately dipping a finger to her wet slit and slowly rubbing her there, paying special attention to her clit and rubbing circles around it before applying gentle pressure. She breathed in deep as he went, even the tiny bit of pressure overwhelming and she cried out repeatedly as they kissed, his head going to her breasts where he slowly pulled her nipple into his mouth, sucking it as his hand continued and he added a finger.

It was exquisite the way he touched her, nearly bringing her to come but then pulling back and pushing his fingers in, pumping and twisting them in and out while his mouth worked her clit. This time she came again, screaming, the pleasure was so great and she lay there in his arms letting sleep finally claim her.

...

The next morning they were awakened by Noah and Zara climbing in bed with them when it was way too early and nether Olivia, or Nick could be bothered to even open their eyes much less get up. Zara had grabbed her candy bag when Noah came in her room and woke her and they went to see about possibly getting a piece or two before breakfast, they never thought that it would be this easy to get it all.

"Daddy…" Zara called sweetly, when that didn't work, Noah spoke up.

"Dad-dy!" He said quite loudly, tugging Nick's beard and bust into laughter causing Zara to laugh too as she shushed him and pulled his hand away. Olivia heard them calling but since her name wasn't being called and nobody was crying, she ignored them both and continued sleeping.

"Zara...Noah...why are you up?" Nick said, eyes shut. They two children looked at one another sneakily before they turned back to Nick.

"Could we have…" Zara started

"Canny!" Noah said "...pease?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Can we watch TV?" Zara asked.

"Okay" He agreed. Excited she helped Noah climb in the bed before she got in with the remote.

"Noah, be careful of your mommy's tummy!"

"He will" Zara said as she settled next to Olivia and put Noah near Nick to be safe and dumped the candy out on the comforter. She and Noah dug in as she turned on the TV to the Disney channel and Nick and Olivia slept.

An hour later after eating more than enough candy, both children were passed out in between their parents with candy wrappers strewn about all over the bed. Nick was the first to open his eyes, he looked at the children, sleeping with their candy stained faces, then at the wrappers all over the bed and shook his head.

"Bad idea Nick!" He whispered as he then laughed. They were just so cute! He got up and found the bag and put the remainder of the candy as well as the empty wrappers inside and tossed it on the dresser, stopping to grab his phone and snap a picture of them before he made his way in the bathroom to pee, shutting the door partway just as Olivia woke up. She did much of the same thing, looking at the children and laughing at them. In addition to the stains on their faces, they were lying out hilariously with Zara curled up against her belly like she'd been hugging her sister and Noah sleeping just like Nick, flat on his back with his arm over his face though Noah was sideways and laying across Zara.

She looked at them, so amused for a moment until she was brought back to the here and now by a feeling of wetness between her legs that she knew wasn't from last night's activities and when she went to stand up, that's when she felt what had to be a contraction. Although it didn't hurt too much, it did cause some pain and the shock of it along with the shock of the wetness caused her breath to catch as she held her stomach.

"Nick…" She called as she struggled to walk; something was leaking out of her, quickly. Nick came from the bathroom drying his hands.

"What's wrong?"

"I think this is it!" She said as she shuffled her way towards the bathroom. She was holding the underside of her stomach, a wet stain down her gown.

"What, like 'it' you mean…" He said getting nervous.

"Labor, Serpico!" She said as she got near him just in time to grab his hand when she heard a pop and felt...something and she stood there with her legs open, partially leant over as her water came in a huge gush and began rushing out on the bedroom floor.

* * *

"You are definitely in labor, you're already dilated 2 centimeters!" Dr. Gates told an ecstatic Olivia. "I'm gonna have the nurse take you upstairs and get you settled."

"Just that fast?" Olivia asked, grabbing Nick's sleeve and feeling nervous suddenly. He squeezed her hand to give her assurance.

"It's okay Olivia" Dr. Gates said with a smile. "All first timers are nervous, you'll be fine. The birthing suite you wanted is available. All that's left is to get her here."

"We're really having her!"

"We're having her!" Nick said and kissed her.

...

"Come on Liv, you got this!" He said but she paid him no mind and she cried when the contraction peaked. "Maria, I can't talk to you right now!" He was trying to get off his phone while keeping Liv calm but Maria was being a pain.

"Oh my god!" Olivia sobbed as she bent forward in serious pain, gripping the bed as she held her stomach and Nick began rubbing her back.

"You can do this baby! …look Maria, I gotta call you back; no I will call you back; damnit Maria…" Olivia snatched the phone.

"HE WILL CALL YOU LATER!" She yelled and threw the phone down. "Nick I can't..." She cried as the pain overtook her and she began panting. She was standing, over the bed and what little resistance she had left was slowly slipping away to the agony. She reached out and clutched his hand, humped over as she leaned into him. These contractions were unreal, and she could do nothing but take them and pray to god that it would end soon, but after 13 hours…

"Yes you can, you're almost there!" He said as she was squeezing the life out of his hand...who knew she was that strong? God he wished someone had told him that he'd be watching his fiancée go through the absolute worst pain of her life and all he can do is hold her fucking hand (though she's pretty much breaking his right now) and try to tell her that everything will be okay when even after hours of this, he doesn't know how true that is.

"I didn't sign up for this!" She said in tears. "OH MY GOD! Why hasn't she come?"

* * *

"Abuelita, is the baby here yet?" Zara asked. She was so sleepy and her eyes were closing but she had been watching for the baby all day, calling her dad and Olivia and being told time after time _"not yet, mi amor" _but now she was tired. She had stayed up as long as she could but it was 10:25 and she was exhausted!

"Oh sweetie, still nothing." Caesarea said as she stroked her face.

"What's taking so long?" She asked with a big yawn.

"Well, babies can take a long time to come out, but she'll be here!"

"But I want her now!"

"I know. But your brother had the right idea and I bet if you go to sleep too, she just might be here when you wake up in the morning."

"Promise?"

"Sorry mija, I can't promise but how about we say a prayer and ask God to let her get here safely?"

"Okay" Zara agreed happily. With sleep in her eyes she got out of bed and joined Caesarea on the floor to pray.

* * *

Sixteen hours and the contractions were back to back and at their strongest. After walking around until she physically couldn't, Olivia now lay in bed in a world of pain and so ready for it to be over.

"I can't… Oh god kill me!" She screamed through her tears through another contraction as she held on to Nick, gripping his shirt. "I'm dying!"

"You're not dying mami, it'll be over soon, I promise!" He tried hard to sound convincing but truth be told, this was brutal and he had to collect himself more than a few times when his tears welled up. He couldn't; no, he wouldn't break down when she was going through this. Sixteen hours; sixteen goddamn hours and she was in absolute torment. _How is she doing this? _He wondered.

"I'm dying! ...just kill me...please just kill me!" she sobbed weakly. "I can't do this anymore!"

"Baby look at me; maybe it's not too late to let them give you someth…"

"No! No drugs!"

"Olivia…"

"NO DRUGS!" and she let out a long cry and sat up leaning forward.

"Olivia, you okay?" The nurse asked as she approached the bed.

"I need the water; oh god it hurts too much!"

"Okay; why don't you try to relax and I'm gonna check your dilation."

"No, just...please!" She cried.

"It's okay babe, we're going to the tub." Nick said to Olivia as he took her hand. He turned to the nurse "you can check her dilation in the water!"

* * *

At the 16th, Fin was wrapping things up. Carisi had taken off a couple of hours ago and now he wanted to make it to the hospital. As he came through the squad room to get more coffee...

"Hey, headin out?" Amanda said, stirring a mug of coffee as she sat at her desk.

"Unfortunately this has been the busiest damn Sunday ever, so not yet!"

"Tell me about it. Why oh why do we have to be in charge?"

"Get used to it, Liv's out till February." he laughed and sat in the chair by her desk.

"Speakin of, you think you'll get to the hospital tonight?"

"I want to but the way things are lookin now...I called Nick and let him now we're swamped but I'd love to be there."

"Well, let's get done here and see what we're doing for time!"

* * *

In the hospital Olivia was in the homestretch, she was in the tub with Nick behind her but she was quickly giving up. Seventeen hours of labor and she was at the end of her rope and now she lay back against him, trying to get the baby here.

"Liv, baby you're almost there!"

"It feels like I'm splitting apart!" she cried and took quick breaths through the pain of pushing but she had to stop when it came to be too much and she could feel the baby start to crown. "Nick I don't wanna do this, I wanna go home… STOP TOUCHING ME!" She yelled to the nurses who were going about and they pulled away as Olivia sobbed against Nick.

"Olivia listen to me..." He said into her ear. It was killing him seeing her like this but he also knew that once she had their daughter in her arms… "Esto es lo que ha estado esperando; lo que hemos estado esperando! Mami you can do this, I know you can and you're almost there."

"I can't!" She cried "I just wanna go home...I'm so tired. I thought I was ready, I thought I could do this..."

"You _can_ do this!" Now he was crying, but he didn't hold back his tears this time. Their baby was about to make her entrance and they were both so emotional. He held and kissed her and spoke to her a soft yet firm tone. "You're tired, I know, and if I could I swear I would; I'd take all of this pain away and do this for you, but you have to, Liv because you're the only one who can do this. Our baby girl is counting on you; you got this and I'm right here!"

She needed reminding of that; that he was here and she wasn't alone. _Our baby girl… _His and hers. She whispered something in his ear, crying out when the contraction hit and he took her hands in his on either side, holding them and letting her squeeze as she readied another push.

"Come on baby!" He cheered as she pushed with everything she had, a scream coming from her as the head was crowning and she felt the burning.

"That's it Olivia, keep pushing!" The doctor said. Olivia took another breath and continued and when the largest part of the baby's head was coming out; not only was it painful but she could feel herself tearing. She screamed like hell but she couldn't stop pushing as her body had now taken over and she cried as she agonizingly brought forth her baby, surprised now that she was coming out so fast.

The nurses patted her head and neck with a cool cloth; sweat was pouring from her as she pushed Zoë's head out.

"GET. AWAY FROM ME!" She screamed like a demon and they backed away quickly. "Oh god! Oh god, oh god, oh god!"

"The head is out; Liv, stop pushing."

"I can't stop!" she cried and let out a long scream to push Zoë out, her eyes wide and then squeezing shut, catching her breath as the baby slid out of her.

"You did it baby!" Nick cried, fully in tears and placing a kiss to her temple as Olivia lifted Zoë from the water and cradled her to her chest, unable to form words and just sobbing at the beautiful new life she held.

"Oh my god she's big!" She said through her tears when she was able to speak.

Dr. Gates checked the baby as Olivia held her and Zoë gave her first cries there in her mother's arms as she looked up at Nick and Olivia who were absolutely transfixed by their daughter; she was finally here!

* * *

Just after 7AM and Nick hadn't slept, he just sat up in bed next to Olivia, holding his new daughter and staring at her. She was brand new but god she was so beautiful! 9lbs and 12ozs of perfection from the top of her little head that was laden with a mass of black curls down to her immaculate little feet. She slept in his arms for two hours as she finally grew tired of him crying and fawning over her but had awakened the last five minutes and now he sat talking to her again while Olivia continued sleeping beside him.

"Can you say daddy?" He grinned. She looked up at him, almost like she understood him and wanted to talk but couldn't. "No puedo creer lo hermosa que eres...you're so beautiful!" He told her again for the hundredth time since she'd come out of Olivia and he started to weep again.

"I don't think I've cried this much in years!" He said to her as Olivia slowly began waking up. "Look who's waking up!" He whispered to the baby and kissed her sweetly as Olivia turned and fluttered her eyes, opening them to Nick and the baby coming into focus. She smiled at him before she reached for the baby, touching her hand.

"Can I hold her?" She asked, she was staring as she held Zoë's little hand and smiling so brightly with tears in her eyes.

"Of course you can" He said as he carefully transferred the baby to her mother's arms. "Here's Mommy, baby girl...yeah!"

"She's so beautiful!" She said as tears slipped from her eyes. "Zoë… You're really here!" She whispered and kissed her baby.

"Still not over it?"

"I don't think I'll ever be over it…" She said looking down at her, stroking her face with her finger as Zoë looked up at her. "she's just perfect… Nick, I had a baby!" she couldn't stop crying.

"You did." Nick said through his own tears and kissed Olivia then their baby. "What you did...I never… You were so incredible. What you went through to give us this miracle…Seventeen hours of labor and you're still the most beautiful woman in the world to me! I love you; I can't put into words how much but god help me, I love you!" Olivia looked up at him as he caressed her face as she smiled as her tears flowed.

"I love you too...so much." She said as she caressed his face, letting her fingers run through the hair of his beard as they kissed, his through her hair at the loose tendrils that ran from her messy ponytail that was piled high on her head, down the back of her neck. They continued until Zoë started to cry and they broke apart to focus their attention on their baby girl.

* * *

Three days later at the house, Nick and Olivia were starting to get settled with the baby and Noah, and even Zara though she'd be leaving in a few days. Nick was downstairs with Noah saying goodbye to Fin. Olivia had been down about a half hour ago but had to excuse herself to feed Zoë and Zara went with her after giving her uncle a big hug and kiss, and now it was just Noah with the men.

"I better get going, work calls!" Fin said.

"Thanks for stopping by man!"

"No problem, you kiss my goddaughter for me!"

"I will. Noah, dígale a su tío adiós."

"Bye bye unc Pin!" Noah said waving and smiled at Fin from where he stood behind Nick's legs.

"Bye lil man!" Fin waved to Noah then turned to Nick "catch you later." He said and left. Nick bent down to pick up Noah.

"Let's go see your little sister" he said as he started off toward the stairs but Noah stopped him.

*No no...cookie!" he said, pointing in the direction of the kitchen.

"I don't know; what do you say?"

"Pease" Noah said without missing a beat.

"Okay" Nick said laughing. "One cookie comin up!" He said as he headed to the kitchen.

"Two?"

"No, but nice try buddy!" He kissed Noah's head and kept walking.

"Aw man!"

...

"Do we even need the warrant, Liv, I'm telling you if we don't get in there now…" Amanda said, she had called via Skype to see how Liv was doing but the call ended up shop and now they sat there discussing while Liv nursed Zoë.

"Come on Rollins, you already know the answer to that one. Besides, shouldn't you should be taking this up with your acting commander?" she laughed.

"Fin's great and all, but it's just not the same! I know you're over there in momma heaven with the little ones but I'll be so glad when you're back."

"Thanks, but three and a half months is a long time!"

"Tell me about it! Anyway, I'll let you get back to bonding. Bye Zara."

"Bye Amanda!" She said before Zara logged off and turned to Olivia. "Is she finished yet?" she said eagerly. Since they'd come home, Olivia had allowed her to be the burper and she loved it.

"Well, I'd say just about" for a three day old baby, Zoë would just about drink Olivia dry since her milk had come in last night but right now it was looking like she was about to be finished.

"I wish I didn't have to go back to California, it's so far away and now I have my brother and sister here…" She said taking Zoe's little foot in her hand.

"I know sweetie!" Olivia said. She reached out with her free arm and hugged Zara, not knowing what else to say to her just as Nick and Noah walked in.

"Fin, Barba, Cragen, Carisi, Rollins; not to mention my mother, Lucy, Melinda, Trevor, Casey and Alex- we have been swamped these last three days! Man this kid has wracked up the gifts!" Nick said.

"Did you really expect different? Grandparents, aunts and uncles?" Olivia noted. "I don't think we'll have to buy another thing; ever!" She laughed.

"Hi mama!" Noah said eating his cookie.

"I see you bribed daddy for a cookie, huh?" She said and kissed his head, Noah grinned.

"Hah cookie Zawa" he said and tried to hand her the cookie he had bitten while protectively holding the other.

"Noah" Olivia called. "That's _your_ cookie, the other is Zara's.

"No mama" he said then went into a whole dissertation about it that no one could understand except occasionally the words _Zawa_ and _cookie._

"Noah…" Nick said

"Aw it's okay Noah" Zara said hugging him and laughing. "You can have the cookie!"

"I hah it?"

"You have it!" She said and kissed him.

"Tank ou!" He said with a mouth full.

"This kid!" Olivia said to Nick, both of them shaking their heads and laughing as Nick took a seat on the bed beside Olivia.

"Fin says goodbye and he says I should give" he kissed the baby's head. "...little mami a kiss for him."

"My kiss too" Noah said with his cookie covered lips puckered.

"Your kiss too?" Nick said and gave Noah a kiss. The toddler smiled and continued to collect kisses from Zara and Olivia then kissed the baby before he sat down and continued to eat his cookies.

"Okay Zara, ready to burp?" Olivia said as she took Zoë from her breast. Zara put the burp cloth on her shoulder.

"Ready!" Olivia carefully handed the baby to her, not letting go until she was secure in Zara's arms.

"Watch her head!" Nick and Olivia both said.

"I got her...right Zoë!" She sang as she patted the baby's back, supporting her head. Nick and Olivia sat back, Olivia putting her nursing pad in before closing up her bra and shirt then leaned against Nick, keeping a watchful eye on Zara and the baby.

"She's good with her." She said quietly to Nick.

"A natural" he said smiling and took hold of her hand, intertwining their fingers. "How do you feel, you okay?"

"I'm happy…even in spite of my belly that looks like it's 5 months pregnant and the pain; but, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!" She smiled and Nick kissed her.

"2 burps!" Zara said laughing as Zoë gave her second burp, already asleep. "Boy she sleeps so fast!"

"She did a lot of work to get here, she'll sleep pretty much all the time for a while." Olivia told a fascinated Zara.

"How _did_ she get here?" Zara asked.

"That's a good question...Nick?" Olivia deflected as Nick took the baby from Zara's arms and held her.

"How did...um…" Nick started but Noah interrupted.

"Dad-dy can go ous cweam?"

"That's a good idea. Why don't we go for ice cream and a movie?"

"That's sweet babe but I think I'd rather stay here and rest while she's sleeping."

"I'll stay too then." Zara quickly said.

"Oh honey you don't have to. It's okay, go with your dad."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, your sister and I will just be sleeping and besides, you only have a couple days left with him, you should get some time."

"Okay" she smiled

"Why don't you go put Noah's shoes on?" Nick said.

"Come on Noah!"

"Kay" he got down and followed her out and Nick turned to Liv.

"Thank you babe! We'll bring back dinner, anything you want?"

"Surprise me"

"Will do!" He said and kissed her, placing the baby in Olivia's arms. "I love you!"

"I love you!" They kissed again and he planted a gentle kiss to the baby before he left the room. Olivia smiled as she looked down at her sleeping daughter then at her beautiful engagement ring and listened to the laughter that came from Noah and Zara; she thought she was lucky when Judge Linden placed Noah with her and she was, but who knew that there was so much more in store for her? She had her little boy but now she had an incredible man who loved her, a soon-to-be stepdaughter, and this beautiful little bundle in her arms. She remember how after she was born she literally could not stop crying- much like now. She didn't know what she'd done to deserve so much beauty in life but it felt so good she thought as she kissed her baby and put her down beside her in bed so they could sleep.

* * *

**6 months later**

"Are you gonna keep your shoes on?" Nick ask Noah, pleading with his eyes. This was the two and a half year old's most recent phase- he hated shoes but today was special and Nick needed him to keep them on.

"No shoes daddy"

"Please Noah, for Mommy?" Don tried.

"No want no shoes pop pop"

"He's not giving!" Rafael said. Don looked at Nick, they were out of suggestions. Fin figured he'd give it a go.

"How bout I give you bubblegum?" He offered.

"Dum?"

"A whole pack. And all you gotta do is let us put your shoes on and keep em on." Fin said. Noah got quiet, thinking as Cragen, Fin, Nick and Barba watched him intently.

"Kay!"

"That's what I'm talking about!" Nick said.

"I have dum?"

"You get one now and the rest when you deliver!" Fin said, handing him a piece.

* * *

"It's okay peanut!" Olivia said as she picked a crying Zoë up from her playpen and sat her on her lap. "Mama's got you!"

"Ma, ma, ma, ma" the baby uttered to which Olivia smiled. Zoë had begun saying it just 4 days ago and at this point Olivia couldn't tell if she was just sounding out the letter or if she was actually using the word but she loved it all the same.

"There you go" She said as she undid her gown and put Zoë to her breast. The baby latched on quickly and wasted no time feeding. She and Nick were slowly introducing Zoë to food but thankfully she wasn't taking to its intro very well, Olivia loved breastfeeding and Zoë loved it as much as she did and she was thankful for days like today with no work, there were no bottles for them, and this made Olivia so happy. She looked down at her daughter who had grown even more beautiful the last 6 months, and so smart! Olivia was absolutely in awe of both she and Noah.

The door opened and Zara walked in with Noah who was proudly chewing his gum.

"Look who has their shoes on!" Zara announced.

"Noah, look at you!" Olivia gasped happily before turning to Zara "how'd you get him to agree?"

"Uncle Fin bribed him" she laughed. Noah smiled and gave a thumbs up.

"Are you chewing gum?" Olivia asked him. He looked at Zara then back at Olivia.

"Mama so pwetty!" He said sweetly.

* * *

Later at the church altar...

"I now pronounce you man and wife…" But Nick couldn't wait and was on Olivia, them kissing passionately at the altar before the minister could finish, met with a chorus of applause. "You may kiss your bride!" He added to an already busy Nick who just continued kissing his new bride amidst the cheering and Noah standing shoeless at the altar.


	31. Epilogue

**Sorry, not a new part. I just wanted to move the epilogue here, so yeah. Dick Wolf still owns, I just borrow.**

* * *

**.**

**Epilogue**

A year and 6 months later…

.

After 2 years as a lieutenant, Olivia was coerced into taking the exam for Captain, being told by Fin that "there weren't too many women with the title" and a lot of convincing from Dodds, she again put herself through the hell of studying for the exam which was made extra hard by the fact that she had a squad that if she wasn't watching their every move they'd probably all be in prison and a bureau Chief who was constantly a thorn in her side.

The flip side to that was every night she got to come home to an almost 4 year old and an almost 2 year old with the husband who after all this time she was still so deeply in love with and that made everything seem worthwhile.

The night before the test she was in bed getting in some refreshers for the test when Nick came in from the bathroom ready for bed and looking so sexy, she noticed peering over the top of her glasses from her book. She thought to herself that she had done enough and if she wasn't prepared now, she never would be so she closed the book, putting it on the nightstand along with her glasses and turned to him staring.

"What?" He asked, a smile playing at his lips.

"Nothing...I was just thinking that I'm not having hot flashes and how good you'd feel inside me right now!"

"That's funny because I was just thinking how good I'd feel inside you right now!" He said.

"What a coincidence"

"Go figure!" He smiled, pulling her close and they kissed. Before long he was on top of her and in her and that night they just got lost in pleasuring one another until sleep claimed them.

...

The next day arrived and the test was taken; worries over, at least on that part right? Wrong, now came the waiting. Couple that with running a squad and a home and beginning menopause and you've got a surefire recipe for stress. Carisi had since passed the bar and was now working for the DA's office so that left her with two new hires that were as green as they came. Amanda in her mess of the moment- she had a full plate and that was just at work. Suddenly everything was more annoying than usual and in between the hot flashes, she would eat like crazy, mainly junk to keep the stress away but it didn't work and one morning she was feeling so rundown, she just couldn't get out of bed!

"Mommy" Zoë said as she ran in the room. Olivia immediately took her head from beneath the covers.

"Hi peanut!" Olivia said, tiredness in her voice as she reached down and scooped her up then lay back down. Zoë leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

"Mommy milk pease?" She asked while smiling sweetly and lifted Liv's tank top before she could utter a word, helping herself. Liv smiled at her in spite of how lousy she was feeling and lay there stroking Zoë's long, dark hair.

"I said I'd stop when you turned 2 and that was over a week ago." She laughed to herself and watched Zoë; she seemed so content suckling as she lay there with her hand gently stroking her mother's face. Olivia took her little hand and kissed it as Nick walked in.

"Noah is not trying to get up!" He said. "Mi corazon." He kissed Zoë on the head. She smiled and continued drinking.

"It's Saturday, he's earned it!" Olivia said. "Hi" they kissed.

"Hi… Feel better?"

"I think I need a multivitamin, I'm just worn out! Zoë easy baby, mommy's sore."

"You didn't mention that to me last night." Nick said.

"That's because it didn't start until this morning...shit, I almost forgot the mail last night, could you get it? I need to see if my exam results…"

"I'll be glad when they do come, you've been so stressed." He kissed her head "be right back." he said, getting up and leaving the room. When he got back, Zoë stopped drinking and reached for him. He picked her up and when Olivia saw that he had an envelope in his hand…

"Is that…?"

"Maybe"

"Daddy, wan abbles!"

"One minute princess" Nick said with a kiss.

"Okay" she smiled. Olivia had sat up, pulling her tank top down and grabbed the envelope, ripping it open then passed it to Nick before she took the paper out.

"I can't look, you do it" she said. Nick pulled the paper out of the envelope and read it to himself before turning to Olivia.

"Congratulations… You passed, made the top 5 percent!" Instead of happiness, Olivia got a look on her face that was unreadable. "Liv? Did you hear me?" she was sick and by the time Nick noticed, she was already running into the bathroom and threw up.

...

By the time Monday rolled around she wasn't much bettwr. Tuesday evening after work, she got home, they had dinner, she bathed Noah and Zoë then nursed Zoë while she and Nick called Zara and then read Noah a story in his room. Once the kids were asleep, Liv went to take a shower while Nick made sure the house was locked then got an unexpected phone call about work that kept him busy for about a half hour and later when the two of them were in bed…

"Noah's taking his first school trip tomorrow" she said.

"I know; man pre-k already!" Nick said as he pulled her into his arms, back was against his chest. "I wish I could be there" he said and kissed her.

"Don't worry, I'll take plenty pictures." She was quiet for a moment and then turned to face him. He noticed her mood change and questioned her.

"What's wrong?"

"I just...do you ever think about having more children?" She asked.

"Sometimes, but I'm okay with what we have; Liv is this about your menopause?"

"Yeah; it is actually"

"Baby...I'm alright with it, you should be too...I mean look at that beautiful little girl in the next room. You gave her to me; it doesn't matter that you can't…"

"We're gonna need room for one more… I'm pregnant!" His eyes went wide as a smile pulled at his lips and seeing his reaction, a smile played on hers as well as he kissed her.

* * *

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**Thanks for reading!**


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